Once again we find ourselves at the end of another year in awe at the pace of how quickly it seems to have flown by . . . it is always the same. This year I am ending the year with a very poorly Mitzie and a husband who has cancer. Not two things I wanted to end the year on, or foresaw at the beginning of 2016, but it is what it is nevertheless and thankfully those are two things we can work on alleviating. Mitzie will be going to the Vet again this morning, and Todd will begin his radiation treatments in a month's time. I have great faith that both issues will be dealt with and resolved in due course.
This is the year I learned to forgive, if not forget. I always thought I knew how to forgive but the ugly truth was I did not. Issues from the past kept rearing their ugly heads to smack me in the face again and again. I think I have listened to or read this talk by Kevin R Duncan (from the April 2016 Conference) a bazillion times this year and it has finally become a part of the fabric of my being. I have been able to partake of the healing ointment of forgiveness both for others and for myself, and that has been a very good thing. If you are dealing with issues such as this, I cannot recommend it highly enough.
Even though we may be a victim once, we need not be a victim twice by carrying the burden of hate, bitterness, pain, resentment, or even revenge. We can forgive, and we can be free!
This year I grew also, as an artist. I started adding backgrounds to some of my work and I was really happy with the way they turned out. I am still evolving. Still learning. Still developing. That is art. I find myself still wishing and wondering about how things might have been had I been allowed to go to Art School after high school, but it is what it is. Although I might have been able to forge myself a career in the Arts at some point had I done so, I am content. I have had to do some deep soul searching and have come to see that success doesn't come from outside, it comes from within and if I see myself as an artist, then it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks or does. Success is not measured in dollars or pounds. It is measured in contentment, and I am content with what I do. It makes ME happy, and that has to be enough. The fact that it might make someone else happy is just the icing on an already delicious cake.
Another thing I learned this year is that you just cannot make or force people to care, and that it is okay for them not to care. It might sting, but you cannot legislate anyone else's behaviour or make them feel things they do not or choose not . . . . to feel. No amount of money, or time, or gifts or whatever can change the nature of another human being. To some, loving and acceptance comes easy, to others it is a hard row to hoe. I am from the easy court . . . which means that I am also very easily hurt, but I would not have me any other way. And if I expect others to accept me as I am, I, too . . . have to accept them. And just learn to live with it.
We are all at different points of progression on this journey called life and it is a journey you cannot make for someone else. They must make it for themselves. God willing, they will get there in the end, but until they do . . . God grant me the Serenity . . .
I love the Serenity Prayer. I always have done. This year I have put it into practice and noticed a difference.
This was a year of great discovery for me. Spiritually, mentally, physically. Excitingly, I had my DNA done and discovered my physical roots for real. It was the most amazing experience ever and I am so grateful that I had this opportunity. It taught me that we are not always who we think we are. That we are filled with surprises and wonder, and that as different as we may each look and act on the outside . . . inside we are probably more similar than we could ever begin to think. We are each a melting pot of the world and of the human experience. Unlike Cain . . . when answering to the Lord after he had slain his brother . . . when the sands of the earth cry out with my brother's blood, my answer must be Yes Lord, I AM my brother's keeper. The milk of kindness must surely run in my veins and although I am but one, I must do what I can, where I can, when I can and while I can.
It is not enough to just think that I would like to do more. I must act and do more, so much so that it becomes second nature to me to want to serve others selflessly. This is a work in progress. If each day I can say that I am better today than I was the day before, then that is a good thing.
If at the end of this year 2016 I can look in the mirror and say with all honesty that a better person stands there than did last year at this same time, this year is a year that has not been wasted. And . . . I think with all honesty I can say this is true. I am a better person today than I was on December 31st, 2015. And that is my only resolution for 2017. . . to once again end it as a better person than I am today. I look forward to this new journey of discovery.
It's quite an exciting prospect actually!
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•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
*.˛.° ˛°. .
˛*A thought to end the year on . . .
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*.˛.° ˛°. . For a new year to bring you something new,
make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon!
Make a move!~Mehmet Murat Ildan *。*˚*。*˚
In The English Kitchen today . . . Hot Ice Cream Pudding. Oh boy . . . thank goodness for repentance. This is very naughty. 😈
Thanks so very much for being a part of my journey this year! Please keep Mitzie in your prayers, and Todd too. I wish all the best for you in 2017. May it be a year filled with love, luck, happiness and health for each of you. Along the way don't forget . . .
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And I do too!