Wednesday 31 January 2024

Wednesday Witterings . . .

 

 

Its -14*C/6.8*F out there this morning.  That is pretty cold.  How grateful I am to be tucked up in my warm little house.  My heart  is thinking about any who have not got a warm place to shelter on this cold, cold morning.  I cannot imagine such a fate and yet, I know that in my area alone, there are several hundred people without a home. As far as I know there is no homeless shelter here where I live.  I don't know what people do. It pains my heart to think about it.  I found this article online which is from the 10th of January.  Some is being done, but it is no where near enough. I am not sure what the answer is.

If I was a much younger and fitter person I could do more about it, but now, all I can do is to throw money at it when and as I can.

I don't remember people being homeless in my younger years, although I am sure that there must have been people living in dire circumstances. I do not think the numbers were as great as they are now. I know that my grandfather left home at the age of 12 and used to be seen sitting on his older sister's doorstep looking for a handout, which had to be given in secret from what I understand. He was a troubled young man, a child really, at that age.  I do not think my great grandparents were bad people. They had a farm in New Germany.  I think my grandfather was just unwilling to abide by the rules of the home.  I think he was a bit of a wanderer and got work  when and as he could. I do know that he served time in Prison for the armed robbery of a local store when he was a young man, but mom always said he took the blame for someone else. I wish there was someone I could ask the details from, but they are all gone now for the most part. My Uncle Harold might know more.  


  

 

Family history is such a fascinating subject. I need to be writing these stories down or they will be forgotten forever.  There are some people who have very clear and concise histories written.  I have an acquaintance Julie who has books and photographs, etc. of all of her family history. People have clearly taken great care to keep it down through the years. We, in my family, are not so lucky. It been  mostly given by word of mouth and not really catalogued as such. I do keep journals, but that is not the same as keeping a family history.


 

Cindy and I went out yesterday afternoon to bring some supper to Dad and to do a bit of grocery shopping. We had not been together to do that since Friday. She did bring dad to hers on Sunday, but Monday was a snow day. We always make sure that he had some frozen dinners that he can heat up if need be and Cindy had left him with a few sandwiches for his lunch when she was there on Saturday as well.  He was happy to see us. We puttered about his place doing this and that and visited with him for a time. 


He always cheers up when he sees us.  I know not being able to get out and about is depressing him a bit.  He is even unable to check his mail because he has to walk to the end of his street and his mobility is not that good.  He used to drive down.  Tonight of course Hazel will be picking him up and bringing him to the Big Scoop for supper. I will be meeting them there. Sometimes Cindy comes, but she is not today.  I will miss having her there. 

 

I don't necessarily want to go every week myself, but my father has come to count on me being there and I don't want to disappoint him. Plus it is nice for me to get out and about as well.  I do get out a lot with my sister also which is great.  I think when I was living in Chester, other than church or grocery shopping I never went anywhere for the most part those last few years.  Mind, Covid had put a huge damper on things as well.


 

I've been watching shows on Netflix about eating. First I watched You are What You Eat, the Twins Experiment, and then yesterday I started to watch What the Health.  They really have me questioning the way we eat.  Of course my friend Jackie has been telling me for years that Dairy is the devil.  But I like Dairy.  


Milk, cream, butter, eggs, cheese  . . . I can happily live without meat for the most part and that doesn't bother me.  But trying to find a healthy way to eat without Dairy is causing me to stress out a bit.  There are just no great alternatives here where I live.  Half the time the vegetables are really inferior looking as well.  I was in the store yesterday and wanted to buy a cauliflower but gave up as every cauliflower I looked at had brown spots and looked bad.  I am not going to pay $6 for something which has clearly seen better days.  I saw some nice looking cheese (vegan) but it was $13 for a small piece so I didn't get that either. 


I bought bread, and some fruit and a few other bits.  But my mind is  in a turmoil over it all.  Last night for my supper I had a spinach salad with strawberries, blueberries and dried cranberries, with some toasted walnuts and a peanut butter cookie for dessert. The salad was a good choice, but the cookie, not so much.




Isn't she adorable?  I so wish I had more time to play  . . . I could quite happily lose myself in a pit of doll-dom.  I love these dolls so much. Alas that does not pay the bills.


 

According to my Fit Bit I do not sleep very well. Most nights I only get between 6 and 7 hours and much of my sleep is very restless. I move around a lot, wake up a lot.  I only deep sleep for a very short time. The rest is light sleep.  

It is no wonder I find myself nodding off when I finally sit down to watch television at the end of the day.  I spend most of the evening nodding off and on before I finally give up and go to bed.  And then I do fall asleep right way, but it is short lived. I always wake up about half an hour later and then the restlessness begins.  I do dream a lot it seems. Vividly.  I often remember them, but other times I won't.

Right now I feel as if I could go back to bed, but I won't because I know I really wouldn't sleep if I did and In about 45 minutes Cindy will be calling me for our morning cycling session and I have things to get done before that happens.

I always like to be washed and dressed, my bed made, the litter box scooped, etc. I am a creature of habit.  One day last week I stayed in my pajamas the whole day.  That was really out of the ordinary for me. I was rebelling, lol!


 

It is hard to believe that here we are already on the last day of January. Hasn't the month sped by? Or is it just me who is feeling like it has slipped off the calendar far too quickly!  I hope that is not a sign of how this year is going to go.  I want time to slow down a bit and not disappear as quickly as it does.  I am not sure what the secret to that is.  I guess it is just that I keep myself very busy, which is a good thing. I would rather be busy than the alternative. I am never bored. I could use an extra three or four hours in every day!


And although I have wittered on this morning about not a lot at all, I find myself having to end this  now with a thought for today as I am running out of time, so here we go  . . . 


A thought to carry with you . . .

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★

 *.˛.Quiet the mind
and the soul will speak.° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
~Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati ° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •



In The English Kitchen today  . . .  Quick & Easy Lo Mein Noodles. These were really delicious. They go together really quickly as well, once you have all of the veggies chopped, etc.


I hope that you have a beautiful day!  Whatever you get up to, don't forget!


═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ 
⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
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And I do too!    

   







Tuesday 30 January 2024

A DAY BOOK ...

 

 

OUTSIDE MY WINDOW ...

Its very cold (-8*C/17.6*F) and we have had the most snow we have had all winter. They finally had to use the snow blowers on our driveways. I think we got about 5 or 6 inches, maybe more and yesterday afternoon it was windy and blowing all over the place. The local buses were cancelled so people got stuck in places they didn't want to be stuck. Eileen had posted on Facebook that one of her friends could not get back to New Minas (which is about an hour away).  Thankfully someone took her in for the night. We did not get out to see dad yesterday.  Not sure if we will make it today either.  But he has plenty to eat and we still have our power for warmth and entertainment, so he will be okay.


I AM THINKING ...

How lucky I am to have a place to shelter during inclement weather. What a blessing is that in a world that many do not.


 



I AM ALSO THINKING ...

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30

For when the weight of my sadness feels as if it might crush me.  He will share my burdens and give me rest.




THINGS DON'T ALWAYS GO TO PLAN ...

Yesterday I baked a brain. LOL  It was supposed to be a loaf of Brown Sugar Oatmeal Bread.  Its back to the drawing board with this one.  It tastes good, but is very heavy and obviously did not have enough liquid in it. Who knows. Something was very wrong with this one.





CRAVING ...

Yes, Underwood Deviled Ham Spread. When we were children sometimes mom would make us sandwiches for our lunch using this. I always loved them. It was a good day when this was in our lunch bags.   Its a good thing I have some in my cupboard, but alas, I do not have any cheap white bread to put it in.


 

MISSING ...

I am missing doing my art. Its been far too long. I need to start making space in my days for these things that I have always loved to do  . . . 


 


HOW WONDERFUL ...

How wonderful it is to have such beautiful creatures to share our lives with.  They delight. They frustrate. They love. They are our friends and companions, good company for when we need it, when we need to feel the warmth of another living creature next to us.  Since I got the new sofa both of the cats have been laying next to me on it.  With the old one it would only be one at a time.  They both seem to love being there with me now. I love it.


 


HMMM ...

This person needs to get  a bit of color into their life. There is a lot of texture, but little variation in color.  It reminds me of my old boss. She had a highboy dresser in her bedroom that was filled with nothing but white turtlenecks.  Seriously. Drawer after drawer of white turtlenecks sweaters.  They looked identical to me, but she could tell them apart. It was a bit of a conundrum when it came to packing for her and she requested one of them.  


 

ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ...

Scented candles.  I love them. My favorite scents are smoky ones, pumpkins, spice and apple, and grapefruit scented ones.  Of them all however, I think the grapefruit ones are my absolute favorites. I always loved to eat grapefruit, but can't any longer due to some of my medications.  I miss eating them, but I can still enjoy smelling them!  The Body Shop used to make a lovely grapefruit hand cream I loved.


 

INTERESTING ...

The last few orders that I have ordered from Amazon that were being delivered by Purolator have never arrived.  Seriously. What is up with that. And its a real pain in the patootie to figure out how to talk to someone on Amazon to get a refund. They tell you if it hasn't arrived by a certain date to request a refund, but they don't give you a link to do so.  I spent 45  minutes one day looking for how to do just that. Eventually I did figure it out.  Its annoying.  And I mean EVERYTHING that has been going to be delivered by Purolator.  A couple ledger books, dry cat food, dining room chair covers. None of it has ever arrived. It just seems very strange because anything else I ordered that was delivered by other companies has arrived like clockwork.






I AM READING ...

To the Bright Edge of the World, by Eowyn Ivey

An atmospheric, transporting tale of adventure, love, and survival from the bestselling author of The Snow Child, finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. 

 In the winter of 1885, decorated war hero Colonel Allen Forrester leads a small band of men on an expedition that has been deemed impossible: to venture up the Wolverine River and pierce the vast, untamed Alaska Territory. Leaving behind Sophie, his newly pregnant wife, Colonel Forrester records his extraordinary experiences in hopes that his journal will reach her if he doesn't return--once he passes beyond the edge of the known world, there's no telling what awaits him. 

 The Wolverine River Valley is not only breathtaking and forbidding but also terrifying in ways that the colonel and his men never could have imagined. As they map the territory and gather information on the native tribes, whose understanding of the natural world is unlike anything they have ever encountered, Forrester and his men discover the blurred lines between human and wild animal, the living and the dead. And while the men knew they would face starvation and danger, they cannot escape the sense that some greater, mysterious force threatens their lives. 

 Meanwhile, on her own at Vancouver Barracks, Sophie chafes under the social restrictions and yearns to travel alongside her husband. She does not know that the winter will require as much of her as it does her husband, that both her courage and faith will be tested to the breaking point. Can her exploration of nature through the new art of photography help her to rediscover her sense of beauty and wonder? 

 The truths that Allen and Sophie discover over the course of that fateful year change both of their lives--and the lives of those who hear their stories long after they're gone--forever.

I loved The Snow Child. I think I have read it about three times. I am loving this book also.





SOMETHING TO WATCH ...

The Greatest Night in Pop on Netflix. If you like music you will like this. I remember when the "You are the World" video came out in the 1980's and loving it.


 


CRAVING ...

Peshwari Naan Bread. It is my favorite Naan bread. It is a Naan bread stuffed with nuts, coconut and raisins.  I used to get it all the time when I was in the U.K.  I am going to try this recipe, and soon.






IN THE KITCHEN ...

Coconut Curry Lentil Soup.  This was fabulously delicious. Rich and hearty, yet quite healthy and low in fat. Loaded with fiber and taste. Gluten free. Dairy free. Vegan. Vegetarian. Delicious.







TRACING THE GOODNESS ...

Peddle appointments with Cindy. Road Trips with Cindy. Facetimes with Tina and Jo. Good books to read. Church.  The Scriptures and their insights.  Writing in my journal.  Cats. Faith. Family. Friends. Home. Prayer.  Its all good. 





HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO  . . .

Luke!  Happy Birthday today to my grandson Luke! Delightfully charming. Full of life and joy and energy. Love him to bits!



 


A THOUGHT TO CARRY WITH YOU ...

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★

 *.˛.A house is made of walls & beams;
a home is built with love & dreams.
~Unknown•。★★ 。* 。
•。★★ 。* 。


And that is my daybook for this week. I hope that you all have beautiful days.  Blessings to you all and don't forget!


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⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════   
  


And I do too!    

   

Monday 29 January 2024

Small and Wonderful Things . ..

 




"The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside from a generous hand. But who gets excited by a mere penny? It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won't stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted with pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. what you see is what you get." ~Anne Dillard 


 A few of the small and wonderful things which bring untold joy into my life. It's the small things in life which truly mean the most. Simple abundance . . . it's the best.


 


Its just gone six thirty in the  morning and I have a loaf of bread starting in the bread machine. A honey and oatmeal loaf.  I've done my Twitter, my Instagram and my newsletter. Prayers have been said. The cats have been fed (that happens as soon as I get up) and also treated. (I always throw a few treats for them to chase in the morning.)  Snow is falling. My heat pump is purring. My day is off to a good start.


 


Church on Sunday.  I don't always feel like going.  There are some Sundays when I would just love to go back to bed. Yesterday was one of those, but I got dressed and went anyways.  Experience has taught me that if I did go back to bed I wouldn't be able to sleep anyways, and that going to church on Sunday mornings is one of the best ways to start or end my week, depending on which end  you look at it. I am always blessed for doing so, spiritually well fed, inspired.

Yesterday's lesson in Relief Society was based on a talk by Elder Renlund from the last conference entitled Jesus Christ is the Treasure. It was a great talk and a wonderful lesson was taught from it.   

At one point during the lesson we were asked to think about how we felt about the Savior, what impressions came to our  mind.  Right away I thought "HE sees ME."  And I knew in my heart that that was true.  I felt it.  I am not invisible to Him.  I matter. I count.  I am His. He loves me.

At a time when much of the world would tell us we are nothing in the scheme of things, how wonderful it feels to be seen and to matter.



Meet Gus.  A friend of mine from church's cat had kittens. Cindy and Dan are getting one of them. Little Gus.  He looks very much like their Gary who passed away last year at the age of 19.  They fell in love with him from the get-go.  He could not be coming to a nicer, more loving home.  Their eyes have just opened, so it will be a number of weeks before they are able to bring him home.  They had not really planned on getting a kitten, but the heart wants what the heart wants.   Praying all goes well for everyone concerned. He's adorable.  My friend sent me a video of him this morning getting a bath from his mum. So sweet.



I hope that you can see it.  I think you will agree. He is adorable.


 

My friend Jo and I are having a facetime at noon.  Jo was the housekeeper at the Manor when I first started working there. She became a very good friend and is a very good friend, still. She left the Manor to become a Chiropodist about 3 years after I started working there. We have not had a facetime in 3 months or so.  She just got back from a holiday visiting her sister in Lanzarote.  She went with her daughter. Girls trip. I can't wait to hear about it! We have much to catch up on.

My friend Tina facetimed me on Saturday night. That was lovely also. Oh how much I cherish these lasting friendships I made when I was in the U.K. There is Carolyn also and I still chat with my next door neighbor Maxine from time to time as well.  Treasures.


 

The other day when we were at Dad's, he gave me his silver.  I have not really taken it out of it's wooden case yet and had a look at it, but at first glance my sister and I thought it looked a lot like our mother's silver, which my sister has.  Same pattern.  

That silver was our mother's pride and joy, along with her silver tea set. She only used it once a year, at Christmas. It was so special to her.  I don't recall her ever using the silver tea set. I wish I could remember how she came to have it.  I suspect it was a wedding gift.




I know I just shared this photo with you the other day, but let me share it again. My new sofa. I just love it. It is so comfortable.  I am so blessed and grateful for it.


 

Canada, the great white North.  I am so blessed to have spent most of my life in this wonderful country, and have been equally blessed to have been able to visit/live/travel across most of it.  It has its faults for sure, things which could and should be done better, but, overall, its not a bad place to have been born or to live.  I have been able to spend my life in peace.  I have never really known what it is like to live in fear, or to be in dire need of anything.  I have been blessed with a free education from an early age, free health care all of my life and now in my old age I have a pension, even if it is not very much.  It is something.  Clean water.  A roof over my head, etc.  I do not take any of these blessings for granted and see them for the gifts that they are. 

 


Sunday dinners with family.  Cindy picked up Dad yesterday and brought him to hers so we could all be together.  It is nice to be a part of a family.  To feel wanted and included. Again, once more  . . .  I AM blessed!


 

On a January night in our snowy valley, it is easy to have faith. It is so still and the snow falls quietly, like glitter in the street lights. The silvery tips of the spires from our village churches rise towards the sky, as the arms of the naked maples stretch open to catch every flake. The lights from a hundred kitchen windows at supper time glow and cast warm shadows on the snow beneath them. It is a simple thing to feel the comfort and warmth of the families that live within the walls of the homes they shine from and to imagine the laughter and love they hold.  We are the lucky ones  . . .  the blessed.

And with that I best leave you with a thought for the day.  I have much to do and to get done.  


A thought to carry with you  . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★
*If we truly want peace in the world,
let us begin by loving one another
in our own families.° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
~Mother Teresa° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •° * 。 • ˚ ˚ 



From my desk calendar this morning  . . . 






In The English Kitchen this morning.  Broccoli and Sweet Pepper Stir Fry.  A healthy side that is filled with color, flavor and crunch.  So tasty!


I hope your day and your week are filled with loads of small and wonderful blessings. May your cups run over with joy and peace, and most importantly, love.  Don't forget!


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⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
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And I do too!     
   


Saturday 27 January 2024

All Things Nice . . .

 

My driftwood fire burns and flows,
A hundred shades of jade and rose,
With tongues of red that softly turn
To roses in a copper urn;
And sheets of purest silver blaze
Against a shifting purple haze.

A chunk of cedar fills the air
With fragrance of the beaches bare.
Clean sand drips down upon the floor,
The salt damp smells of seas once more
Drifts through the room like a lost breath,
Of someone walking close to death.

A hundred pictures shift an blaze,
of far dim lands and other days;
Perchance that beam of sodden oak
Was once a swinging coolie's yoke;
It bears the shape of tired backs,
And breathes of dusty human tracks.

Perhaps that pole was once a mast,
Swung high to let the dawn go past,
Or gaping yardarms staunch and wide
A mocking servant of the tide,
It makes a cloven tongue of fire,
And fills my room with hot desire.

And then a stick of Douglas fir,
Perfumes the air with fragrant myrrh,
And I am home in quiet aisles
Of stately trees where sunlight smiles;
No vagrant dreams to stir my thought,
In little rooms that love had bought.
~Edna Jacques, Driftwood Fires
Beside Still Waters, 1952

It is funny to think that words penned so long ago are weaving magic in my mind now, some 72 years later.  Older than I am, they are, these words. From the mind and pen of a woman long gone.   And here we are all these years later still enjoying what she wrote all those many years ago.






Edna Jaques was a Canadian Poet who was born in Collingwood, Ontario in 1891.  She was raised on a Saskatchewan homestead. Her poetry often depicted the harsh beauty and life of the prairies, but, more often than not, celebrated the daily experiences and pleasures of domestic life. They are not hard to read nor understand. They speak to the part of the human experience that is common to us all. I fell in love with her prose as a young child. A slim green cloth bound volume of her poetry sat in our family bookcase all the years of my childhood.  I used to love to take it out and pour over the words, breathing them in along with the smell of the paper they were printed on.

We did not have a lot of books in our bookcase, which still sits in my sister's living room to this day.  An encyclopedia, which was a great sacrifice on the part of our mother's budget to ensure her children were well informed . . .  educated  . . .  and a few other books, including the book of poetry, Fireside Poems, published in 1950.

From my father I inherited my love of reading  the written word.  From my mother I inherited my love of writing the written word.  Both loves have stood me well in my lifetime.





Someone asked me earlier this week to share a photo of my new couch.  So here it is.  I have the back and bottom cushions covered in quilted throws to protect them from the sharp claws of my feline companions.   It is a really comfortable sofa. I am so happy that I made the choice to get rid of my old one and get a new one.  I do not regret the expense one bit.  It is nice and firm. Easy to get up from and to sit down on.  The cats seem to love laying on it as well. I often will look over and see the both of them spread out on it and think to myself  . . .  most expensive cat bed ever.  Ha! Ha!  They are welcome to it!  I am happiest when I am seated on it and they are stretched out beside me, keeping me company in my cozy little home.


 



This was Nutmeg sitting next to me last night as we enjoyed the latest installment of Love is Blind Sweden. He is never very far. You can see Cinnamon perched in the old crow's next next to the window in the background.  Sometimes they are both next to me.  They have grown a great deal over the past 2 1/2 years. I cannot imagine a life without them in it.  


 
Cinnamon mid-bath
(sorry Cinnamon)

I believe that pets are a very important part of any Senior's life, especially Senior's who live on their own.  That way you are never quite alone. There is always a living breathing creature to share your life with you, someone to talk to, to cuddle and be cuddled by.  They add a wonderful dimension to one's life.

I would have loved to get a dog, but I am unable to take a dog for the long walks that they require.  Cats don't need walking.  I do have to say though that old coconut is very true. Dogs do have Masters and Cats really do have Slaves.


I dote on them.




I was awakened very early this morning by the snow plow clearing out the parking lot of the farmer's market which is to the back of me. Despite my black out curtains the light of the plow was intruding upon my sleep and the noise as well. I did not sleep well last night and had thought to get an extra hour's kip this morning. The snow plow had other ideas however. It was only six a.m.  


I know they wanted it clear before the shop opened and probably every other business in town did as well, so it was probably vital that they get to it early so they could all be done come nine a.m.   I think the grocery stores open at 8 a.m. so they were probably done even earlier to meet the commitment.


 


I was feeling quite cold this morning, so I have a lap quilt wrapped around my legs. I just checked the heat pump and I only had the temperature set at 18*C/64.4*F   No wonder I was feeling cold. I have switched it up so I should feel/see and improvement soon.

Cindy and I were talking about this in the car yesterday.  About how acclimatized we get to the heat in the summer months and then the cold in the winter months.  It is funny how that goes. We are extraordinary creatures, we human beings.

I do feel for anyone who is homeless at this time of year.  My brother and his wife are participating in a walkathon in Ottawa to help raise money for a homeless charity. The Coldest Night of the Year.  So far I am the only person who has donated. I do hope they are able to reach their goal.  It is such a worthwhile thing to help those less fortunate than ourselves.

I have given to the homeless community where I live also.  I hope never to take the blessings I enjoy as a person with a home and the ability to support myself for granted. There, but for the Grace of God go I.


 

I didn't sleep very well last night. I had one of those rare nights where I struggled to tick over into sleep, instead surfing along on the level of almost asleep, for most of the night, and when I did sleep it was very dream filled.  I don't mind dreaming, but I would like a little bit of sleep in between the dreams thank you very much.

I am a very vivid dreamer and my dreams seem to last the whole night through.  I keep dreaming a continuation of the same dream. Like a night long film, done in chapters.

I also dream in color.  Do you?

My mother used to keep a Dream Book in her bedroom. It was a book that purported to be able to interpret and extract the meanings from our dreams.  I am not sure that dreams hold all that much meaning. Sometimes I think that they have a lot more to do with the things we have experienced or seen in the hours prior to going to bed or that cheeky bit of cheese we enjoyed in the evening that we should have left alone. Other times I think they have a lot to do with our subconscious, our fears, our feelings.


 


Sometimes I feel as if the weight of all my sorrows will crush me.  I am only human. Most of the time I remain very positive about things. I do not have a lot to complain about, but there is always this underlying current of sadness.   I am not sad about what happened in England any longer. (I feel in many ways, that that was the best thing that happened in my life in recent years.)  It is mostly to do with my children which are estranged.  Sometimes when I allow myself to think about it I feel as if I will go mad.  I did not have perfect parents, but there is nothing that they could have done or did that would ever make me want to feel like cutting them out of my life, or to stop loving them.  And then when I think of that I think to myself I must have been the worst mother ever, or they must at least feel like I was the worst mother ever and I start beating myself up with the guilty stick and wondering at what I could have done differently.

That is the worst thing to start thinking about.  Intellectually I know that I was a good mother, or at least the best mother that I knew how to be. As with anyone, I am sure there are some things I could have improved upon, but I am only human and not perfect.  I think this is more about them than it is about me.  

I look at my ex husband and how all five of our children love and respect him, even the ones he was quite abusive to, even the one who isn't really his.  And I wonder  . . .  what did I do to cause this? How can I fix it?  Who knows what the answer is.  I just lay it all at the Savior's feet and put my trust in Him. He knows and He cares.  

"Weeping may remain for the night, but joy cometh in the morning."  ~Psalm 30:5


This is a reminder to me of the hope we have in God’s promises that our sorrow and suffering will not last forever. It is a reminder that no matter how difficult or dark our circumstances may be, we can always find joy in the morning.

Jesus’ message is a joy-filled message even in the face of seemingly endless pain. God cannot promise to protect us from all sorrow however, He does say that His joy will always be waiting for us at the other end of the spectrum.



 

I hear the plow out there scraping my driveway clean now. A reminder to me that I have been writing here for several hours now and must be on about my day.  I am so grateful to live in a place that does all of this hard work for me.  That cleans my driveway whenever it snows so that I don't have to.  What a great blessing that is. And they cut the grass in the summer months also. It is the same where my father lives. 

And I look at that bunny above and my heart feels warm at the sight of the pink lining in his ears.  So cute . . .  and I think that all is well within this little corner of the world, my little corner of the world. I am truly grateful for all of the things in my life, the joy filled and the sorrow filled.  They are a part and parcel of what creates a life worth living.  Of my life.  And it is good.   So very, very good.


A thought to carry with you  . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★
*The intellect of the wise is like glass,
it admits the life of heaven and reflects it.
~Augustus Hare  ° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
  ° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 




In The English Kitchen today  . . . Date Filled Oat Cookies.  Deliciously simple. A very old recipe. 


I hope that you have a beautiful weekend  Whatever you get up to be happy and be blessed. Don't forget!

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And I do too!