Saturday, 31 December 2016

Thoughts to end the year on . . .


Once again we find ourselves at the end of another year in awe at the pace of how quickly it seems to have flown by . . . it is always the same.   This year I am ending the year with a very poorly Mitzie and a husband who has cancer.  Not two things I wanted to end the year on, or foresaw at the beginning of 2016, but it is what it is nevertheless and thankfully those are two things we can work on alleviating.   Mitzie will be going to the Vet again this morning, and Todd will begin his radiation treatments in a month's time. I have great faith that both issues will be dealt with and resolved in due course.

This is the year I learned to forgive, if not forget.   I always thought I knew how to forgive but the ugly truth was I did not.   Issues from the past kept rearing their ugly heads to smack me in the face again and again.  I think I have listened to or read this talk by Kevin R Duncan (from the April 2016 Conference) a bazillion times this year and it has finally become a part of the fabric of my being.  I have been able to partake of the healing ointment of forgiveness both for others and for myself, and that has been a very good thing.  If you are dealing with issues such as this, I cannot recommend it highly enough.


Even though we may be a victim once, we need not be a victim twice by carrying the burden of hate, bitterness, pain, resentment, or even revenge. We can forgive, and we can be free!



This year I grew also, as an artist.   I started adding backgrounds to some of my work and I was really happy with the way they turned out.  I am still evolving.  Still learning.   Still developing.  That is art.  I find myself still wishing and wondering about how things might have been had I been allowed to go to Art School after high school, but it is what it is.  Although I might have been able to forge myself a career in the Arts at some point had I done so, I am content.   I have had to do some deep soul searching and have come to see that success doesn't come from outside, it comes from within and if I see myself as an artist, then it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks or does.  Success is not measured in dollars or pounds.  It is measured in contentment, and I am content with what I do.   It makes ME happy, and that has to be enough.  The fact that it might make someone else happy is just the icing on an already delicious cake.



Another thing I learned this year is that you just cannot make or force people to care, and that it is okay for them not to care.   It might sting, but you cannot legislate anyone else's behaviour or make them feel things they do not or choose not . . . . to feel.  No amount of money, or time, or gifts or whatever can change the nature of another human being.  To some, loving and acceptance comes easy, to others it is a hard row to hoe.  I am from the easy court . . . which means that I am also very easily hurt, but I would not have me any other way.  And if I expect others to accept me as I am, I, too . . . have to accept them.  And just learn to live with it.

We are all at different points of progression on this journey called life and it is a journey you cannot make for someone else.  They must make it for themselves.  God willing, they will get there in the end, but until they do  . . .  God grant me the Serenity . . .


I love the Serenity Prayer.  I always have done.  This year I have put it into practice and noticed a difference.



This was a year of great discovery for me.   Spiritually, mentally, physically.    Excitingly, I had my DNA done and discovered my physical roots for real.  It was the most amazing experience ever and I am so grateful that I had this opportunity.  It taught me that we are not always who we think we are.  That we are filled with surprises and wonder, and that as different as we may each look and act on the outside . . .  inside we are probably more similar than we could ever begin to think.  We are each a melting pot of the world and of the human experience.  Unlike Cain . . .  when answering to the Lord after he had slain his brother . . .  when the sands of the earth cry out with my brother's blood, my answer must be Yes Lord, I AM my brother's keeper.   The milk of kindness must surely run in my veins and although I am but one, I must do what I can, where I can, when I can and while I can.

It is not enough to just think that I would like to do more.  I must act and do more, so much so that it becomes second nature to me to want to serve others selflessly.  This is a work in progress.  If each day I can say that I am better today than I was the day before, then that is a good thing.



If at the end of this year 2016 I can look in the mirror and say with all honesty that a better person stands there than did last year at this same time, this year is a year that has not been wasted.  And . . .  I think with all honesty I can say this is true.  I am a better person today than I was on December 31st, 2015.  And that is my only resolution for 2017. . .  to once again end it as a better person than I am today.  I look forward to this new journey of discovery.

It's quite an exciting prospect actually!

.° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★

 *.˛.° ˛°. . 
˛*A thought to end the year on . . .


° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * 
   *.˛.° ˛°. . 
For a new year to bring you something new, 

                         make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon! 
                               Make a move!~Mehmet Murat Ildan *。*˚*。*˚


Spiritual Enlightenment

 

In The English Kitchen today  . . .  Hot Ice Cream Pudding.  Oh boy  . . . thank goodness for repentance. This is very naughty.  😈


Thanks so very much for being a part of my journey this year!  Please keep Mitzie in your prayers, and Todd too.   I wish all the best for you in 2017.   May it be a year filled with love, luck, happiness and health for each of you.  Along the way don't forget . . .

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And I do too!



20 comments:

J said...

I will pray for Mitzie, your husband Todd and also for you to what your going to endure in the coming year! I hope you have the best year ever in 2017! Happy New Year Marie!

Julie Mann said...

Hope today is a better day for Mitzi. Please give Todd my best wishes for the start of his treatment. I'm not far away so if I can do anything to help let me know x

Marie Rayner said...

Thanks very much J. Much appreciated ! Happy New Year. Xoxo

Thanks Julie. That is so kind of you. Happy New Year! Xoxo

Suze said...

I, too, hope that Mitzi has a better day. I am not doing well. Over Christmas I was sick. I started eating again today and my symptoms returned with a vengeance. Please pray that I am well enough to travel on Wednesday.

The year has flown and as usual a mix of good and bad, happy and sad. There is always more to learn.

May God abundantly bless you and Todd.

La Table De Nana said...

I sincerely hope 2017 brings health to all around you and you:)
I met a man going into the post office..he was coming out..w/ a cane..and not sure of his step on the ice..I asked if I could help him get to his car while he climbed in..he smiled and said oh no I am used to this..I said everyone has something I think..well almost everyone..he said..it's called mileage:(
Hohoho..not something I wanted to hear.
Jacques always said you have to please yourself..and be proud of yourself..not to depend on other's accolades..re school marks..etc..do what you can in your best ways..and well then you can be happy with yourself..middle child of 5.. the only one that went to uni...
whereas I was the youngest..they had lost their only daughter before me..I always did much better w/ praise lol.The exact opposite of Jacques..
So..I think I made resolutions younger..but for the last 20 yrs at least none.
I don't have a bucket list.
I believe less in the medical world..
That's one thing for sure..
sensitive like you..but believe it or not..after a few disappointemts with people..a few..I am perfectly content to walk away..never see them..and be so much more content inside.
Phew..what was that all about?

:)
Happy new Year!

kate hazlehurst said...

Hi Marie. May 2017 bring you all health, happiness and peace. Thinking of you and as usual you're in my prayers. Lots of love xxx

Marie Rayner said...

Oh dear Suzan, I so hope you are feeling much better upon travelling. (((hugs)))) There is nothing worse than being ill and on a trip. I have my fingers crossed and knees bent for you! xoxo

That was about sharing Monique, and I am pleased that you share with me. Like you I used to make resolutions when I was younger. I have come to realise as an older "model" that resolutions are very difficult to keep. Best not to make them. If I can be better tomorrow than I am today, I have done enough! Happy New Year! xoxo

Marie Rayner said...

PS Monique, as the oldest of three I was always the "Responsible" one! xo

Thanks Kate! Very much appreciated! xoxo

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Even with the problems I'd say you truly ended the year on a good note. I could only wish I could do the same. I have hope for new beginnings in the coming year. I try to live life one day at a time and to make the best of what comes but sometimes that is very hard. Happy New Years Eve to you and yours !

Marie Rayner said...

((((hugs)))) Pam. You are such a ray of light for so many. I agree it is very difficult sometimes to be positive when we are faced with challenges. we can only but try. Love you and Happy New Year. Hoping that 2017 is very good to you. xoxo

Bunny said...

Hello Marie on this last day of the year. Glad to see the back of it, and its attendant problems.
Very concerned, as you are, about Mitzi: Todd no less, but at least he can tell you how he's feeling. Hope the next few days, and months see real progress for both of them.
I really do love your new artwork with backgrounds. I think you're hitting the spot there. They have great charm.
Have a happy healthy 2017, you three. I'll be around. XXX

Bunny said...
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local alien said...

Whew what a lot of work you've done. I love the serenity prayer too but had only ever heard the first verse. I hope this next year brings good health to you all. With good health all things are possible.

Happy New Year. Many happy returns

Deb said...

Hi Marie and Happy New Year to you. Prayers for your husband and beloved pet. I sure relate to your thoughts on forgiveness. It is something I am working on as well. Sounds like you are learning many of the same lessons I am, so prayers that we will both learn what God has in mind for us! Have a good 2017! Glad I found your blog. I enjoy reading it and will stop in for a visit again soon!

cathy said...

Powerful words and so sincere. Thank you for sharing and showing real truths. I will be praying for Mitzie ( such a companion)...Todd too.
So so thank ful to have our Heavenly Father to go to in prayer. Know you are being thought of ..... And lifted up in prayer.

LeAnn said...

Oh my dear friend, I loved all your thoughts on this one. You are such a marvelous woman. I love all your talents and am so happy you share them. You are amazing. I will be praying for your sweet Todd and your cherished Mitzie. May you have a lovely New Year's day and a healthy and prosperous New Year. Blessings, prayers, love and hugs for you!

Marie Rayner said...

Happy New Year Bunny! Thank you! I wish the same for you and yours. xoxo

Happy New Year Linda! A very Happy New Year to you also! xoxo

Happy New Year Debbie. Prayers are much appreciated! xoxo

Thank you Cathy! Bless you! Grateful for your prayers. xoxo

Thanks LeAnn! Happy New Year! Your prayers are so very much appreciated as well! xoxo

Bunny said...

I do sympathise with your vet expenses...my very elderly cat ,Pooka, is on tabs which cost over £40 for a month's supply. In a few weeks'time she will need a blood test - £70! But we love them, and they give unstinting affection and companionship which is priceless. There's simply no easy way. I hope Mitzi's responding to treatment. xx

Marie Rayner said...

Thanks Bunny. There is an improvement to her appetite, but still a big problem with her bowels. Vets are expensive, but she is worth every penny.. we do love our furry family members xoxo

CatieAn said...

Oh Marie I am so sorry to hear about your sweet husband Todd. I pray that his radiation goes well. The big thing is to rest rest and rest. I know you will keep him well fed and loved.
I think of you every day dear when I see your beautiful painted recipe box on my kitchen counter you swapped with me so many years ago.
You truly are a wonderful God filled woman and such an inspiration. A big hug and prayers coming your way.