I was thinking about this the other day. The number of moments in my life which had taken my breath away. I was looking out my front window at the snow falling and thinking about how beautiful it was and then I started to think about how every day is filled with moments like this. Little pockets of joy and every life is filled with larger pockets of joy, or moments that take your breath away.
Like the time we went to the Lake District on holidays and we went off the highway to approach it. There was nothing and then all of a sudden there was everything. Some of the most stunning and spectacular views that I had ever seen in my life. I had never seen anything so beautiful and the more we drove into the district the more stunning it became.
Or the moment I held my first child in my arms and wondered at the beauty of his ten fingers and ten toes and that beautiful little face. The love and the wonder I felt in that moment was like nothing I had ever felt before in my life . . . and I would get to do it four more times. Feel this same feeling. What a great blessing. You think to yourself, I will never let you down or disappoint you. I will always do my best for you, and you try to do just that, but you are human and . . . well . . . you do the best that you can with what you know . . .
But I think of all the take my breath away moments in my life, this is the top one.
When I think of all the sunsets I have experienced in my lifetime it is mind boggling. I have seen many, many beautiful ones. Two stand out in my memory. One was (like above) in Margaretville which is a small town on the North shore near where I live. Mom and I had driven up there specifically to see it. Mom got cold and went back to the car. I stood on the deck by the light house and just watched. It was so beautiful. There for a few moments and then gone. Utter darkness. I had not thought about that and had to feel my way back to the car in the dark. Another one was on the train travelling back from London to Chester in the UK. My boys Anthony and Bruce had come over for a visit. The sky was filled with the most brilliant golds and purples. I had never seen anything like it. Breath taking . . . absolutely breathtaking.
One time I was out getting something from the shed in our back garden in the UK and I stepped out the door and heard the sound of Canada Geese flying overhead. I looked up and they looked like they were almost close enough to touch them . . . their bellies seemed to be all golden in the light. It was a magic moment. I can never hear the sound of geese flying without it touching my heart, my soul . . . at once haunting, but also magical in a special sort of way. That eternal round of life and the way the seasons pass one into another. The sight and sound of geese flying South is a sign of the passage of time for me . . .
The first time I cut an apple open horizontally and saw that there was indeed a star in the middle. The wonder of it. It is the same in any apple, but what magic that its there at all, and to think it happened by accident. I think not . . . it was meant to delight. Life and nature are full of such things, little surprises, engineered to delight us if we are open to them.
I spent a lifetime believing in God and Jesus Christ, but never knew how much they believed in me, and just how much I mattered to them until I started to pay attention and they showed me just how much. And they continue to show me, day after day, moment after moment. My life is filled with their presence and their promises.
Oh sure, times are often rough, and troubles come. I have seen and experienced my fair share. There is no such thing as a charmed life. The rain falls on everyone . . . but every time it does, they show me they are there. Grace is extended . . . power, strength. I make it through until the next time, and then I do it all over again, and somehow . . . like magic . . . I end up stronger and better, improved in some way.
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In the bad moments of life that take our breath away, with the pain and the sorrow of them, our wounds can be put back together . . . healed as it were, with seams of gold. Kintsugi . . .
Broken but not destroyed . . . even if for a moment we felt like we were and that we could never be happy again. Man is that he might have joy.
You cannot know the full measure of your joy unless you have also felt the full measure of your pain. An opposition in all things. Darkness and light . . . pain and pleasure . . . sorrow and joy. The miracle is that even in the midst of our sorrow, we can still find and feel joy. It doesn't make the sorrow any less, it just makes it that tiny bit more bearable.
And I am waffling on . . . sorry about that.
I was watching Love is Blind, the Japanese version last night on Netflix and I found myself smiling as I was watching it. I found myself hoping that these people were actually finding love. They are so polite and so engaging. They somehow seem much more sincere in the journey than their North American counterparts. Is this the result of a cultural difference do you think? When they meet in person for the first time, there is only very rarely a kiss, whilst the North Americans are practically swallowing each other up when they first meet. The Japanese were much more methodical and sincere about picking their partner. They asked real questions and wanted real answers. I am quite enjoying it, and I find myself really rooting for the participants, hoping that they find their happily ever after's. If you haven't watched it, I recommend. The subtitles can be a bit off-putting at first, but you soon get used to them.
A little bit of sweetness. Every day when I am talking to Eileen she wants me to share photos of the kit kats with her. This was two of the ones I took with my phone for her yesterday while they were napping.
So beautiful . . .
Well, I best be about my day. I have a lot to get done. Yesterday I organized my larder cupboards. I got rid of any cookies/crackers that were out of date. (It easily happens when you are on your own.) And I made a promise to myself not to buy on impulse from now on. A bargain is not a bargain if you later end up later having to throw it away because it did not get used. I think that is one of the hardest bits about being on your own. Using things up before they go stale! In the UK smaller portions of most things are available. Yes, they are more expensive when you look at cost per ounce/gram, etc. but there is no waste. I wish smaller sizes of things were more available here.
A thought to carry with you . . .
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
*I loved you
at your darkest.
~Romans 5:8•。★★ 。* 。
Have a most wonderful Wednesday. Whatever you get up to, don't forget!
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