Saturday, 25 July 2015

The Places I go . . .



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 I had a bit of an upsetting weekend last weekend.  Nothing that I can or really want to talk about, but suffice it to say it left me upset and feeling a bit bruised and worse for the wear.  Everything was resolved satisfactorily, but I am a person that really takes everything to heart.  I am not thick skinned in the least and whilst I am very quick to forgive, I do have a tendancy to dwell on certain things and  mull them over in my mind and heart much more than I should.

I need to learn to let go . . .

In any case by Wednesday afternoon this week, this upset and concern was beginning to manifest itself in my life by little twinges in my chest.  I even came over nauseated and all sweaty at one point.  But it went away shortly afterwards and I was fine all day Thursday . . . but still a bit anxious about what had happened on Wednesday afternoon.


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Then yesterday morning it started all over again and I decided I needed to go to the Doctor.  So off we went.  Once there, they decided I needed to be in hospital and that was my next port of call.   I got home from there around Midnight last night.

My day yesterday was spent having heart tracings, blood tests, being hooked up to monitors etc.   I ended up in the AMU, which is where Ariana works, but alas, she was off yesterday.   The reputation of my peanut butter cake had preceded me however, and everyone was quick to say (once they realized who I was) what  a good cook I was. ☺  One nurse even told me I looked to young to be 59, which made me feel rather good.

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Throughout it all my Todd never left my side.  I was so grateful for his presence.   He also gave me a Priesthood blessing which was very calming and assuring.   He knew everything would be okay and it was.

I have to say that all of the staff at the hospital, from the initial nurses who dealt with me when I went to the A&E, to the lovely male nurse who sang Vera Lynn whilst he was inserting a canula and doing my inititial heart tracings/blood tests, to the nurses in AMU, and the porters etc.  . . . all treated me with great care and respect.

The two Doctors that dealt with me were just lovely.  They were compassionate and funny and just very kind and sweet.   We, here in the UK have an awful lot to be grateful for in our National Health Care system.  No, it is not perfect and we love to complain about it . . . but we should also never take it for granted as it is far better than what a lot of people in the world have to contend with and  . . .  it's free.

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I was finally discharged to come home about midnight last night.  Thank goodness I did not have to stay in.   I was so thankful for that.   There is no better place to sleep than your own bed at home with all of your home comforts surrounding you and your husband by your side.   The upshot of yesterday is that as far as they can tell it wasn't my heart, but if it returns I am go go back to the hospital A&E to be on the safe side. All of my tests/tracings, etc. were negative for it being any type of cardiac incident.  It was probably stress induced anxiety.

In short I need to relax more and let go, let God.  Not an easy thing for me, I'll admit, but it can be done.

Mitzie was so glad to see me when I got home last night.  Todd had popped home a couple of times to give her her walks and supper and a few cuddles, but it wasn't like having me here for sure!  (Is there anything on earth as sweet as a dog's "Welcome Home?"  I think not!)

Back where I belong, and hoping I don't repeat this experience any time soon.  Although I think an experience like this does give you pause for thought and there are some things I need to do and to have in place should this ever happen again  . . .

A thought to carry with you through today  . . .


 ❥✻❥.¸¸.✿¨¯`❥✻❥¸¸.✿¨¯`❥✻❥.¸¸.✿¨¯`❥✻❥
Faith and doubt cannot exist 
in the same mind at the same time,
for one will dispel the other.
~Thomas S Monson
❥✻❥.¸¸.✿¨¯`❥✻❥¸¸.✿¨¯`❥✻❥.¸¸.✿¨¯`❥✻❥

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Baking in The English Kitchen today  . . .  Twisty Fruity Bread.  Seriously scrumptious.

Have a great weekend and don't forget . . .



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And I do too!


18 comments:

Suze said...

Take care as you are very precious and I am sure Todd was scared for you. God bless.

Marie Rayner said...

He was for sure, but he never let on. He's very tired today also. xoxo

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Anxiety does do terrible things to us. So sorry you had to go through all that but better to get it checked out than not. Hopefully you will never have to experience that again, but we never know just what is coming our way each day. Take good care and rest.

Marie Rayner said...

You are so right there Pam! I am taking an easy day today. xoxo

La Table De Nana said...

So glad all is ok..and what a sweetheart T is..not to mention the excellent care you received.Commendable!
YAY.

Marie Rayner said...

Yay indeed Monique! Still feeling some of the same today, but trying not to worry about it or stress about it. Hopefully it will go off soon. Xoxo

kate hazlehurst said...

Hi Marie. Oh my goodness what a post to come back too! I haven't been on for a while due to holidays and wi-fi problems. I'm so glad your tests were all clear but really hope the problems causing your anxiety/stress are soon resolved. I must admit I love the NHS, we are so lucky to have it. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with you now on a regular basis. Sending you lots of love, and make sure you take care of yourself. Xxx

LauraC said...

Well, one benefit from the experience is that you know that your heart is good! I envy you your health care system now. I used to like ours but the system in the US is a mess now (at least for us and most of the people we know). We used to pay a decent chunk out of every paycheck. Then you knew that if you needed care, you would pay a set copay and insurance (that we already pay for) would pick up the rest. Now we pay a decent chunk out of every paycheck, pay a copay, and get a bill months later for all different amounts. No longer do I have a clue what we should be paying for or how much. You can't question them all! My husband and I saw the same Dr. on the same day for the same thing and paid the same copay. He got a bill later for $21.35, mine was $25. ??? Blood work that I had to have cost me $300. Two years ago it would have cost nothing. Bring on universal health care!

Marie Rayner said...

Hi Kate! Welcome back! Hope you had a nice holiday! I was having the same thing off and on all day yesterday, but tried as best as I could to ignore it! HOping it will go off soon! xoxo

I don't know how you can cope with that Laura! Todd and I would not be able to pay anything if we went according to what our income is. There is nothing left over each month for anything extra at all. It's as simple as that. We just wouldn't be able to go to the Doctors at all. Scary to think about! xoxo

Julie Mann said...

So glad you are ok! You are such a blessing every day xx

Marie Rayner said...

Thanks Julie, so kind of you to say so! xoxo

Valerie H. said...

Marie...I was not home yesterday (Donna was in a bad car crash and I was helping until midnight) and didn't read this post until now. I'm sorry you had to go through the fact of someone's unkindness that brought feelings of twinges, etc. in your body! This same thing happens to me Marie. If I'm upset, I mill it around...it then comes out of the body somewhere. For me it's my heart. Skips and bumps, can't breath right, etc. I've learned to deal with things better and not let things fester. I had too! My advice if you feel very, very stressed is...drink LOTS of water (really), face the problem...talk it out with the person if possible, breath deep breaths and meditate (besides praying). One thing that has helped me is when I heard a quote saying, "Whatever people think of you, is none of your business." And You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all of the time. In fact, there will be those who, no matter what you do, will think negatively and never be satisfied. This has nothing to do with you.

That said, I wish I could have been there for you. Hope all is well now or at least getting better. :-) Much love to you! xoxo

Marie Rayner said...

VAlerie, I am so sorry to hear about Donna's car crash. I am hoping she is alright. I thank you so much for your lovely thoughts and advice. You are a dear friend. Love and hugs to you too. xoxo

Val said...

Anxiety can wreak real havoc, I know. I hope this week is calmer for you. ♥

Valerie H. said...

Donna is doing okay after the crash. Her car is totaled since someone decided to put out in front of her on the highway. I went and got her Doberman Pincher who was in the car. He was in the back seat and flew over the front seat, onto the dash board and then under it. He was shaken by it. The ambulance took Donna and I took her dog home in my car and stayed at her house until she came home from the hospital. She has a German Shepherd too. They were worried about Donna. Felt back for not only Donna but for the dogs. All is okay though. Could have been so much worse. Thanks for your concern.

Take care of Marie! ;-) Love ya! xoxo

Marie Rayner said...

THanks for letting me know Valerie! I always worry so much about Mitzie when we take her in the car with us. I keep thinking I should get one of those dog seat belts. I also worry about her when we are out and about if something happened to us and we couldn't get home. We need to leave a key with someone I think. Love you too! xoxo

LeAnn said...

Oh my goodness dear friend; I am so sorry you had this episode. Fear of the unknown is not fun at all; so I am deeply grateful you went in and was tested. I do know from experience that anxiety and stress can cause a lot of chaos physically. You must slow down a tad.
You will continue to be in my prayers and I am so happy they couldn't find anything. I think I have experienced a little of what you are talking about. I have had some deep family difficulties that have caused myself a anxious heart. I try to do the give the burden to the Lord; but I find that hard sometimes.
Sending prayers, blessings and lots of hugs your way today!

Marie Rayner said...

Like you I try to pass things on over to the Lord LeAnn, but it's so hard to do when it comes to family stuff. I am trying harder though! Love and hugs! xoxo