Sunday, 24 July 2016
Sunday morning ponderings . . .
In just a few weeks now I will be turning the sage old age of 61. That sounds odd to me . . . I still feel very young in my mind. It seems like it wasn't all that long ago I was bemoaning the fact I was turning 30 . . . and wow, in the blink of an eye, here I am facing 61. The last 31 years seem to have passed by in the blink of an eye.
People tell you that is going to happen when you are young, but you never think it will . . . until it has, and then you realize that they were right all along.
I have heard it said that we should embrace getting old and enjoy every moment of it because it is a priviledge that is denied to so many, and I can see that, and I do embrace and appreciate each day, even the ones that suck. (Yes. I did just say that. ☺ )
More and more . . . I have come to realise that this is true. My life is filled with things I can cherish and be mindful of. I don't really have very many regrets to speak of . . . we all have a few, I suppose. I do wish that I had let my kids help me out more in the kitchen. I never really enjoyed them in there with me. I think I must have inherited that from my mother. She never liked having us in the kitchen with her much when she was cooking . . . and she would have absolutely hated cooking with us.
I wish that my children and I . . . that we had baked more cookies together, and that kind of thing. I wish that my grandchildren lived closer to me, or that I lived closer to them, because I would let them bake cookies with me. Grandchildren are your chance to make it all better. That one day I got to spend with Maryn three years ago, I spent the whole day with her. In her play room. On the floor. Doing Grammy and Maryn stuff . . . which I highly doubt she remembers, but I do and it warms my heart when I think of it.
That's the kind of gran that I am . . . and I love it. This was me and Gabe when we were home to Bruce's highschool graduation. That was a long time ago now. Gabe is 10 now . . .
The years have flown by . . . I have gotten to spend lots of time with him and his brother Luke through the years . . . and with my three "J's" via facetime, so they do know who I am and that makes me very happy. I just wish we got to do it more often in person, but it is what it is and I have learned to take my blessings where I find them.
Family is everything.
Living moment by moment, and seeing everything afresh without judgement and worry lets us experience life, rather than just get through it.
I have learned with the passing years that, although my time seems to pass by very quickly . . . I make it more about the journey than about the destination . . . cherish the small and simple things . . . with a sense of adventure and cirisoity, we can learn and experience more . . . moment by moment, however quickly the moments pass by . . .
Sometimes I just like to stand still and close my eyes . . . and let my mind wander . . breathe in the present. Be here and be NOW.
I could never spend the day just sitting on the sofa watching the television. I need to be doing something, reading something, creating something, talking to someone, cooking, baking . . . just doing, but it is also very good to take a few moments to just be mindful of the present. That doesn't happen in front of the boob tube.
I think that is why I enjoy drawing and colouring so much . . . painting . . . its mindless, and yet at the same time I am doing something, not wasting my time.
This is another lesson that I have learned through the years . . . kindness to others is a gift you give to yourself, and its rewards are priceless. When you practice kindness, after a time it becomes totally natural and you just find yourself doing it without even thinking about it. It is actually its own reward . . . for oftimes the giver ends up receiving far more in return. I have never been able to figure out why that is or how it works . . . I only know that it does. Being kind costs nothing. Never surpress a kind thought or deed. Pray for your enemies and those who despitefully use you. See them as who they are . . . children of God, just like you, and doing the best that they know how to do. When people know better they do better. I firmly believe that. I believe in giving the benefit of the doubt . . . always.
Nobody sets out to be mean or cruel or selfish. You cannot know another's life unless you have walked in their shoes for a while. Kindness matters.
I try to fill my life with laughter, light . . . positivity . . . oh yes, I do get very sad at times. Very sad . . . and sometimes it isn't easy to shake off the shadows of sadness, but I try to always look for the light. I know in my heart that it isn't ever very far away. And so I might have a little boo hoo . . . that's okay, tears are healing . . . and then I move forward, even if I don't always feel like it. It is okay to be sad . . . but I try to never wallow in it. I know that is very hard for some people and I don't mean to take away from their feelings or to demean them. I am only speaking about what works for me and what I have learned. Thankfully I have always been able to find the silver lining in my clouds. Is that just me? I don't know . . . but experience has taught me to look for it, because when I do, I always find it. Sometimes this doesn't come naturally. Sometimes this takes hard work. But I have learned to make it a part of my being . . . this looking for the positive, the silver lining, the blessing, however small.
I know lots of negative people, and I try not to spend much time around them if I can help it. Call it being selfish is you will. I call it self preservation . . . life is just too short to walk on the dark side of the street for very long.
I am not talking about clinical depression here. If you are clinically depressed you need to get professional help . . . you just can't do it on your own. Thankfully, although I have been depressed several times and on medication in the past, I seem to have outgrown it, or at least been able to move past it. I am one of the lucky ones. Medication for depression only ever made me tired. I don't want to sleep through life.
Of course my faith in God has helped me a lot. I have never not believed. I have not always believed that I mattered to Him, or that my problems/hopes/yearnings/needs/desires were of any importance to Him, but once I gave Him the opportunity to prove to me that they did, my life has been Wowza amazing. Even the bad stuff. He can and will turn your battles into blessings, given the chance.
The problem is that we are such impatient creatures and we want things in our timing and on our terms, instead of allowing Him to do what He does best and that is . . . incredibly perfect and always the best for us.
Sometimes the answer is no. I have learned to accept that and to believe that something better is in store for me. He delights in bringing me to the edge and then watching me leap. I have learned to exercise my faith. That is how it is strengthened.
Oh yes . . . I do have my moments where I wish I was a bit thinner/younger/prettier/richer/smarter/healthier etc. But overall, I am quite happy being me. I am quite grateful for all of my struggles because they have made me stronger. I have a life filled with lots of joy and happiness, and yes, even love. I have learned to find joy in my sorrow and power in my weakness.
That isn't be a bad thing . . .
A thought to carry with you through today . . .
A picture one today . . . .
In The English Kitchen today . . . Streusal Topped Brownies. Soooooo good!
I hope your Sunday is filled with hope, love and a multitude of blessings! Don't forget . . .
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And, I do too!