I was sitting here thinking the other day about the last time I saw my mother, and how very hard it had been to say goodbye when I left to fly back to the UK. The older she gets the more difficult that goodbye becomes . . . probably because I am never sure if I will see her again, and I cannot imagine a life without my mother in it. I feel the same way about my dad . . . and my sister and my brother . . . then there are the children, the grandchildren . . .
Life, it seems . . . is basically a series of hellos and goodbyes.
I've known my mother all of my life . . . I said hello to her almost 60 years ago on the day I was born, but in order to say hello to her, I first had to say goodbye to my heavenly family . . .
Which is basically something I don't really remember. None of us do. We forget all about it after a time, which is probably why we are born not being able to speak legibly . . . by the time we have mastered the art of communication, we've pretty much forgotten all about our heavenly home, and that is probably for the best in some ways, because how could we ever truly learn to be happy here, if we could still remember what it was like there.
It just makes sense to me.
This adventure we call life is our first hello and goodbye. Many follow afterwards . . . one right after another. Some hellos and goodbyes are harder to take than others.
Saying hello to your first teacher at school . . . a mix of feelings really. You are beginning a new chapter in your life and meeting and making friends of all sorts of people. But to do so . . . you have to leave behind your mom and your dad, for at least a little part of the day. Your mom and your dad have to be able to say goodbye to you too . . . for at least a little part of the day . . . knowing that this is only the first step of many that you will be taking outside the nest , and hoping that they have given you enough of the skills necessary to make the journey safely and securely.
Then we make friends . . . it is wonderful to have a good friend.
My best friend from when I started school was a girl named Susan Warburton. We were inseparable. We did everything together. My parents called us Mutt and Jeff . . . because I was so short and Susan was so tall. We shared everything. Secrets. Adventures. Then, in Grade 4, her father got posted overseas and they had to move away to Germany . . . half a continent and an ocean away. I remember being devastated. That was the first truly difficult goodbye I really remember. We wrote letters and stayed in touch for years and years . . . we are still in touch on facebook, but it's not quite the same as it was way back then.
People grow, and change and take new directions. And new people are always coming and going in our lives . . . becoming a part of who we are . . . each new relationship leaving an imprint and an impact on our lives, hopefully for the better.
Susan was only the first of many friends I made and cherished throughout my life, that I have had to say hello to and then goodbye. Thankfully I have had many friends which I've been able to maintain the friendships with throughout distance and time. That's a blessing. Truly.
Some goodbyes are natural and healthy . . . things we must do for ourselves if we want to grow and to become who we were meant to be. It was not hard for me to say goodbye to my parents and leave their home to get married. This was something my whole life had been leading up to, and if I had not left home to get married, I might have left home to go to work, or to college or to something. It's a natural thing for children to grow up and leave the nest. It's a good thing . . . even though, as a parent . . . it can be somewhat of a wrench, especially when it comes unexpectedly.
Most of my adult life I have spent moving from one location to another. As the wife of a Military man it was something I was quite used to. I actually used to look foward to seeing new places and making new friends. Oh, it was difficult to leave some friends behind, but I always knew that I would be making new ones and stay in touch with the old . . . but then, we moved the year after my eldest son had started at University and he, of course did not come with us. He had a girlfriend, and an apartment of his own. He had flown the nest.
That was hard. My children had always been a huge piece of me and for the first time in my life I was not going to be within hollering or touching distance of one of them.
You worry . . . you mourn . . . and you worry some more. Then you sort of get used to it. Sort of . . .
And then it happens again, and again, and again . . . and you still only sort of get used to it. I think one of the hardest goodbyes for me was when my youngest daughter decided that at sixteen and in her last year of highschool, she just was not going to move with us again. She left us to move back and live with her best friend and her family. That was unexpected and heart wrenching and almost soul destroying. And my life would never be the same. It seemed very unnatural to me . . . it wasn't time yet for our goodbye, but it happened irregardless and I still mourn it.
I probably always will. It's like cutting a piece out of your heart, knowing that you will never get it back again . . .
and then you realize that it is what your own mother felt when you flew the nest . . .
Yes, some goodbyes are harder than others.
I was remembering the day we brought Mitzie home to live with us. She was just a baby really . . . only eight weeks old and yet . . . she was so brave. She walked into our hearts and our lives as if she already owned them, and she did. From the moment we brought her into our house, she was home. Head held high, walking proud . . .
She knew this was home and she was where she was supposed to be . . . .
and I thought . . . .
At the end of my life, when all is said and done . . . and I am returning to my Heavenly home, I want to walk in knowing that it is home and where I am supposed to be. I want the wrench of saying goodbye to my earthly home to be healed with the joy of entering back into my Heavenly home, and knowing that I truly, truly, truly belong there.
And that all of the hellos and goodbyes I've had to endure . . . have been worth it. And that with each one that has come . . . so has growth and meaning.
Just my thoughts . . .
Playing with my water colours again yesterday . . . I did some blueberries. I kind of like them.
A thought to carry with you through this day . . .
The greater your storm
The brighter your rainbow.
Cooking in The English Kitchen today . . . Crunchy Blueberry Tart.
I can't believe that this week is at an end already. It's just flown by. I hope your Saturday is a lovely one. Find the rainbow! Don't forget . . .
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ ⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════
And I do too!