How Do I Look

“How women look and how their looks change in the course of their lives, is not a frivolous question . . . “How do I look?” she asks as her eyes meet the eyes in the mirror. She listens carefully for an answer, because it might prove quite illuminating. ~Kennedy Fraser

Almost every Sunday morning, without fail, after I have dressed myself for church, I come down the stairs here into the kitchen, and the first question out of my mouth to my Todd is, “How do I look?” As any man knows, this is a loaded question, and he had better answer it carefully. Todd is smart. He always knows the right thing to say. We really don’t want to hear the truth do we? And they really don’t want to suffer the consequences from having been totally honest with us do they?

In all actuality, nobody could be harsher on judging us than we can be on ourselves. We really need to gently ask ourselves this question, “How do I look?” , and we need to carefully listen for the answer. Better still, while we are gazing into the mirror and pondering what we see, we should really ask ourselves … “How do I feel?” In truth, how we feel on the inside has a lot more to do with how we look, than what we are actually wearing on the outside.



Instead of concentrating on how we package ourselves on the outside we need to really change our approach to beauty completely and go for the “whole” beauty routine and approach. Being strong on the inside and beautiful on the inside is the key that can completely transform the outside. Transforming the outside begins with a strong and secure inner life. We need to let our spirits show us the way to go, whether it’s something as simple as changing our hairstyle or something as big as losing a few pounds or even our total attitude and outlook on life.

I look at pictures of myself when I was younger, and where I should be seeing a much more attractive woman with a lot less wrinkles and grey hairs, I only see an unhappy person. It shows in the eyes. We all know the eyes are the windows to the soul and these pictures prove it. My soul was in a lot of pain throughout those years. Thankfully, I was able to get a handle on it and make the changes in my life that were necessary in order to change what was making me so unhappy. When I look at pictures of myself now, I see a much prettier woman and it is the transforming beauty of the soul that has done it.



Simply spending twenty minutes a day in reflection or quiet meditation and thinking about the things in life that mean the most to you, can be the key to beginning your transformation. A long restorative walk at the end of a busy day, whilst seeking your inner self, can do more for your looks than you might imagine. Not only will you have the benefits of having caught a bit of exercise, but you will also have the mental benefits of having caught a bit of your soul and communing with it. Remember your thoughts, feelings and desires are just as important as anyone else's. Learning to listen to them and paying attention to what they are saying is really important to your inner transformation. That can’t be bad. I think if we search ourselves and are prepared to listen to the answers we find, we’ll discover that we all have exactly what we desire to begin with.

I love summer and sunny days. That’s when we can drag the barbeque out and cook some really delicious food. This chicken is one of my favourites!



*Barbequed Chicken with a Sweet Chili Glaze*
Serves 4

You can do this with chicken pieces or with a whole spatchcocked** chicken. The end result is a deliciously moist chicken with a finger licking spicy glaze that will have them coming back for more! Plan ahead as it needs to marinate for a bit before cooking.

8 pieces of chicken (thighs, drumsticks, quarter breasts) or 16 wings (trimmed) or one (1 ½ lb) chicken, spatchcocked*

For the marinade and glaze:

½ cup sweet chili sauce

4 TBS soy sauce

4 tsp dark sesame oil

2 tsp freshly grated peeled fresh gingerroot

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Combine all of the marinade and glaze ingredients and mix together really well. Divide the mixture in half and use half to marinate the chicken and the other half for grilling.

Place the chicken into a non-metallic, non-reactive flat dish and pour half the marinade/glaze over it all, rubbing it in and making sure it’s all coated. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes and up to 2 hours.

Fire up your grill and remove the chicken from the fridge. Place the chicken pieces on the grill, cooking over medium heat, until the skin begins to crisp, about 10 minutes, turning once or twice. Brush with the remaining glaze and continue to cook until the meat is no longer pink at the bone, turning and brushing with the glaze as required for at least another 15 to 20 minutes. Serve.

Sometimes I get a head start on the grilling by pre-cooking the chicken in my oven for about 15 minutes. Just pre-heat your oven to 160*C/350*F and put the chicken onto an oven tray and cook it for 15 minutes before removing it and finishing it off on the grill. If you don't have a grill you can still cook this chicken totally in your oven. Once you have finished the initial cooking, continue to cook it in the oven, brushing it with the glaze occasionally for a further 30 minutes or so, until the juices run clear when the chicken is pierced with a fork and the skin is crispy and sweetly glazed.

*To spatchcock a whole chicken: Spatchcock Chicken is an easy way to impress your guests. You're basically going to butterfly a whole fresh young chicken (buy them as fresh as possible). I buy whole chickens that already have the cavity cleaned out - if you can't find one of these, then first clean out all the giblets. Take your chicken and using a sharp pair of kitchen shears, cut down all along the side of the back bone on each side from front to rear to remove it. Once you have the back bone removed. Place the chicken on the counter, right side up and give it a sharp tap down with the base of your hand to flatten it out.

Note~This post is a re-print of a post originally written on my Muses in July of last year.