I just can't help myself

“A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.”

back seat driver: noun.
1. A passenger who constantly advises, corrects, or nags the driver of a motor vehicle.
2. A person who persists in giving unsolicited advice.



Alright, I confess . . . I put my hand up . . . I AM a front/back seat driver. We will be driving somewhere in the car, and I just can’t help it , when I see Todd doing something that I construe as incorrect, I just have to point it out. It’s not that I think he’s a bad driver . . . it’s not that at all. I am really just trying to be helpful. I know it’s annoying. I know it’s frustrating. I don’t know how to stop. I try, but then . . . a few minutes later, it just slips out . . . again.

I think it’s down to the inherent differences between the way a man drives, and the way a woman drives. Men like to put their brakes on at the last minute . . . women like to anticipate that they are going to have to shortly stop, and put their brakes on gradually. It’s the same thing with signal lights. I like to notify the person behind (or even the empty space behind) of my intentions well before we get there, just so there’s no confusion you see. I also don’t really like passing other cars. There is just NO WHERE on earth that I am in that much of a hurry to get to!!! I like to park straight when I park in a parking spot. I don’t want the wheels turned to the left or to the right . . . I want them straight on. I also want the car to be parked in the centre of the parking space, not halfway over on to the one next to it, or laying in it at an awkward angle. It just looks better . . . you know how it is. I also don’t think people should fiddle with the radio controls when they are driving 70 miles an hour down the motorway! It’s always just fine on the station that’s playing. If it’s raining out or has been raining out, I like to clean the wind screen off BEFORE I leave the drive . . . not after I‘ve already started to drive down the lane.



I'm quite sure that Todd is an experienced and capable driver. What I don’t understand is why I become such an overwrought, twitchy, neurotic passenger when he is at the wheel.

Although I don't usually voice my concerns out loud, it seems that Todd has become quite adept at reading my body language. For instance, when I notice that we seem to be the only vehicle that is passing every other car on the road, I will subtly lean to my right and peer through the steering wheel at his speedometer with one eyebrow raised, or I will subtly voice my concerns . . . as in “I’m not really in any rush to get there. Let’s just drive slowly and enjoy the scenery along the way.”

If he drives too fast, I let him know. If he drives too slow, I let him know . . . in short when he does anything at all that is contrary to the way I would have or would do it, I let him know . . .

I understand that I am really irritating and that there are times he probably just wants to pull over and let me take over the wheel. I don’t really want to do that. I’m completely ok with him driving . . . really I am . . . I just want him to do it properly . . . you know the way . . . without making any mistakes, the way we are told to drive in the manual. You know the “manual?” It’s the book we all study before we take our driving test. That one right there in the glove compartment of the car . . .

Hmmm . . . maybe I missed my calling in life . . . maybe I should have been a driving tester, or at the very least a driving instructor? What do you think???? (Todd’s not allowed to answer . . . )

Here’s a lovely refreshing salad that’s a real dawdle to make on these warm summer nights.



*Punchy Pesto Pea Salad*
Serves 4 to 6

I like to make my own pesto for this. It’s so easy and tastes so much better than the stuff you get in the jar. If you must use store bought pesto though, try to get the fresh stuff from the refrigerator cabinet. Not only does it look 100% better, but you really can’t compare the taste. There is a whole world of difference!

4 ounces of baby spinach leaves, washed and dried
10 ounces frozen baby peas, de-frosted
½ cup prepared pesto
¼ cup freshly grated Parmesan Cheese
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 TBS toasted pine nuts

Make sure your spinach leaves are really dry. Blot them with some kitchen towelling if they aren’t. Place the spinach leaves in a medium to large sized salad bowl along with the de-frosted peas. Add the pesto and the Parmesan cheese. Toss together. Season with the salt and pepper. Toss again and then sprinkle the pine nuts on top to serve.

*Green Basil Pesto*
Makes approximately 1 cup

There is nothing better than making your own pesto. It’s so easy, especially if you have a food processor that you can use.

180g fresh basil leaves
1 pinch sea salt
2 ounces good quality olive oil
2 - 3 cloves garlic, peeled and cut in half
2 ounces pine nuts
4 TBS freshly grated Parmesan Cheese

Wash your basil well, by swishing it in a pan of cold water. Dry it very carefully between kitchen towels so as not to bruise it and then pick off the stems.

Place the basil in the bowl of the food processor. Add the garlic, pine nuts and salt and pulse for a few seconds to chop it all up finely. Begin to pulse again as you slowly add the olive oil through the feeder tube. When it has all emulsified and is smooth, stir in the Parmesan cheese. Taste for seasoning and if needed add more salt and a bit of freshly ground pepper if desired. Scrape out into a bowl.

This will keep several days in the refrigerator.

~This is a post I originally wrote on my Muses back in July of last year.