Monday, 28 January 2019

Orange pant suits, pajamas and legacys . . .

Well, you will be happy to know that the guitar is no longer residing on the wall of our lounge.  (Yes!)  Its still in the lounge, but not on such prominent display. I don't think men see things in quite the same light as we do, in fact I know they don't and once upon a time I had an orange coloured pant suit to prove that point. 😲  Orange has never been my favourite colour choice when it comes to dressing myself (olive complexion) and to be honest . . .  dressing like a prison inmate just isn't the way I like to roll.  At least not on purpose at any rate! 

I had a lovely conversation with my brother last night.  It was only going to be voice to voice, but I relented and allowed it to be face to face.  I was in my pajamas and didn't have any makeup on.  I am not sure if I had even brushed my hair, but I thought what the heck, he's my brother and has probably seen worse and so we did face to face. 

I love my brother very much.  I know I don't talk about him a lot on here, and I am not sure why that is.  Probably because I know he is a pretty private person when it comes to things like this, and I respect that. I really love my brother. He is a really wonderful man, great husband, brother, father . . .  son.  He has a wonderful witty humour that he can deliver with a straight face, and holds an interesting perspective on many things.  When I was much younger and living in London, Ontario .  .  he had finished University and was living in Ottawa, Ontario (where he still lives.) We used to have long philosphical conversations on the telephone just about every Friday morning. We talked about many things, but mostly about faith and things of a spiritual nature.  I have always cherished those talks in my heart. 

He and his wife Chris lived in Japan for a number of years, where their two oldest daughters were born, and he was quite fluent in the Japanese language, which I believe has freaked out a few Japanese people from time to time, as I believe he is able to speak it without an accent.  Just on the side, he is also able to perfectly mimic Apu Nahasapee from the Simpsons cartoon, probably largely due to his having had to conduct business in India quite a bit with his last job, so he is well travelled. 

And he knows a good book when he sees one.  He and his wife Christine have been married for a very long time now.  In fact, he's the only one in our family who hasn't been divorced, which is a huge testimony to his ability to make the right choices out of the gate and their hard work and determination to make things work the way they should.  I greatly admire both of them.  (They have four lovely girls.)

Anyways, we had a really lovely conversation last night, and even my sister was there off and on, and I found it really healing.  I think I had been feeling a bit disconnected and left out I suppose, being all the way over here.  It was nice to be able to connect and to talk and to laugh and to maybe even cry a bit. We talked for quite a while.  It was good. We need to do it more often. None of us are getting any younger. 

My sister and I have spoken just about every morning on messenger.  I have enjoyed our conversations and have really looked forward to them.  She's been keeping me very well informed along the way.  You know how close we are, despite our many differences and views on certain things like religion and politics . . .  somehow that has never mattered.  I like that we can be our own selves with each other, and are able to maintain a closeness that is a special gift in and of itself. We've just always been close.  As children we shared a bed for many, many years, and a bedroom for almost all of our years growing up. I love my sister with all of my heart as you know.  This has been a particularly difficult time for her as you can imagine, and will continue to be so for many months to come, as she is right in the thick of it. 

Thank goodness she has Dan by her side.  Dan is like the unsung hero in all of this.  My sister did a wonderful job of caring for my mom over these past years, but Dan was right by her side all along the way, and helping too. He kind of gets left out a bit when it comes to appreciation.  My mother loved Dan and thought the world of him.  I know he loved her too. This loss has also affected him deeply.  I have not had the priviledge of meeting Dan in person yet, but hopefully one day.  I know he is a special person for many reasons.  First of all because he pulled up sticks and moved with my sister down to the Valley, no questions asked, and at a great sacrifice.  Secondly because he treated my mom very well and with love, and he does the same to my sister, and my dad too.  He IS family and I hope that he knows that. 

Its interesting to note that it took both my sister and I three times to get it right.  When we got it wrong, we got it spectacularly wrong, but when we got it right, we got it very right. 😊   

So now begins the journey of learning how to live within a new reality.  A reality with a huge hole and tear in it.  A hole that will never, ever truly be filled, and I am quite sure it is a hole that I never want to be filled . . . . because there was and is only one person who can or could ever fit into that space. Each of us have to learn how to live and move forward without the tangible presence of my mother, who has been ever-present in all of our lives. Hopefully,  with time . . .  the pain and tears we feel from her loss will be more and more replaced with the joy and gratitude of having been blessed with her presence in our lives, and the comfort of our happy memories. The relationships we grow and share with others really are the single most important thing in this life. Family is everything, be it the family you were born into and grew up  with . . .  or the family you choose to create for yourselves and grew into, or maybe even a bit of both.  There is nothing else to take with you when you leave this planet, and nothing else which matters more.  It is a living breathing legacy which is eternal, and  one which flows backwards through the generations which have passed,  and forward through the generations to come.  It is a most precious gift indeed  . . .  priceless I would say. 

A thought to carry with you  . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★

Walking, I am listening to a deeper way.
Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me,
Be still, they say.  Watch and listen.
You are the result of the love of thousands.
~Linda Hogan   •。★★ 。* 。•。★★ 。* 。 

Roasted Chicken Banh Mi 

In the kitchen today  . . .  a Roasted Chicken Banh Mi, the sandwich of Viet Nam.  Very tasty.

Have a great Monday and don't forget  . . . 

═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ ⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════

And I do too!


  1. Hi Marie, you certainly have a lovely caring family, but then I wouldn't expect anything else, they're YOUR siblings, they were bound to be lovely. I know sometimes we think the worst about technology but to be able to see and talk to someone on the other side of the world is incredible.

    This journey you are taking now is so personal to you, nobody else can take the same one. You will be stopped in your tracks by your lifetime of memories, sometimes you'll smile, laugh eventually, but sometimes the pain will bring you to your knees. But you will get back up, just go at your own pace, there's no right or wrong way. But believe me, it does get easier.

    Thinking of you, lot's of love xxx

    1. Thanks very much Kate. I am so grateful that I have family to take this journey with. It must be so hard for people who have no siblings. Love and hugs. xoxo

  2. Marie, your words this morning, were very beautiful. You have a wonderful perspective on moving forward after grief. May you always have your Faith , to guide you through. What a blessing our Lord is to us. Dale

    1. Thank Dale. It is an extra special blessing in life to have one's faith to fall back on. xoxo

  3. Nice to hear you have been kept abreast of everything with the care of your siblings..I agree your siter and brther in-law are angels on earth.After caring for someone for so long they must be feeling the change in an altering way..more ways than one.How lucky you are to have a sister.
    I can't really tell about family except my husband and children...and grandchildren.
    I have only one brother left..and my brothers had moved out of our home by the time I was 10 I feel like I grew up alone.I know families that are not close at all.
    You are a lucky one:)

    Have a beautiful day.

    1. I try to count my blessings Monique. I really do. ♥♥♥

  4. Hi Marie~

    What a beautiful post! I love the pictures of your family, and the one of you and your sister is just priceless! Family is everything...always will be. How wonderful technology is that you were able to do face to face with your brother and sister! I'm sure that really made a difference, sometimes we really do need to see a person to know how they are doing.

    Yesterdays post was beautiful, and the tribute to your mom was beautiful! I'm sure your son did a wonderful job reading it and representing his wonderful mother. The poem was also just beautiful. The guitar on the other hand... ;0) Glad you got that resolved.

    We never do get over losing our parents, life is just never quite the same when they pass, but they are always near. I have a beautiful photo of my parents hanging in my living room. They were young, and I know that that's how they are now. It's very comforting to me to be able to look at that photo each day and know that they are together now.

    I love the quote at the end of your post, it's so true! Your life does matter, you are very important to those who are still here, and to those who are ahead of us . . . still loving us and cheering us on.

    Thank you for sharing your feelings here, Marie, you are a dear friend. Much love to you, sweet friend. XOXO

    Hugs and Love,

    1. Thanks Barb. I appreciate all of your thoughts, love and prayers. I suppose there are many layers to grief. Having just experienced it recently yourself, I know you know what I mean. I am working my way through them. Love you. xoxo

  5. You know, if you and your sister were lesser people, there is no way you would have had spouses who obviously did not love you enough. You should never feel bad about yourselves in that one...some of us, one way or another, have had many people take awful advantage of us. As I have told one of my pals, even so, even so...if I had to be either the user, or the victim...I would choose victim every single time. I hope your pain will abate some in time, Marie. At least you are confident of seeing your beloved mother one day. And I was thinking tonight of what joy she is surely having right now...looking forward to my turn to be there too!! Take care of yourself dear!! Much love, Elizabeth xoxoxo

  6. I'm so happy that you were able to talk facetime with your siblings Marie!

    Sunday my oldest granddaughter and I went over to spend some time with my parents! Well, it's her great grandparents.

    The 1st thing I did was give them a hug and kiss and tell them that I love them! I usually do that b4 I leave to go home! It's been so cold outside that I've been staying home as much as possible, so I haven't been there for 3 wks…they told me. So cold or not, I'll be there unless I'm sick!

    Having family around does make things easier for sure!
    You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers Marie! Take care!
    Love and hugs. xoxo


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