Saturday Nice . . .

 

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A little breeze let down her hair,

And made a bee-line through the air,

Talking and laughing to herself

Like a red coated woodland elf.

She whispered in a rose's ear,

And ran on tiny feet to peer

Into a zinnia's lovely face,

Shook petals all about the place.

The golden daisies ran tip-toe,

Lifting their petticoats of snow,

To listen in with childish glee,

Like women at a quilting bee.

She brushed a tall old kindly oak,

Hidden in green leaves like a cloak,

Romped through a quiet village square,

Teasing the people walking there.

Peeked in a doorway neat as wax,

Followed a wagon's rutted tracks,

Out where a farmer gathered hay,

And little kids made holiday.

Then like a child all tired out,

She turned her elfin face about,

And travelled back by wind and star,

To a place where tall winds are,

Leaving behind her I am told,

Sweet faces lovely to behold,

A dear dream lifting up its head

Warmed by the words a small breeze said.

~Edna Jacques, A Little Breeze

Fireside Poems, 1950

I saw this poem this morning and thought how perfect it was to share. We are on the cusp of spring, only a few days now and it will be official. How quickly the time has flown since Ground Hog Day, don't you think?  Wasn't that just yesterday?  It feels like it.

Yesterday was a lovely and mild day. Across the street my neighbor had her front door open to let clean fresh air blow the cobwebs out. The sun was shining in a robin's egg blue sky with nary a cloud to be seen. It was a beautiful, beautiful day.

I turned off my heat and have only just now remembered to turn it on. It is a bit chilly this morning at -1*C/29*F.  I am needing the heat.  I forgot to turn it back on before I went to bed last night. What am I like?

The other day when I was feeling so sad my sister went down to check my post for me and came back with two beautiful pieces of mail for me.  A lovely card from my friend Ginny in New Hampshire, and a letter from Tatiana in Greece. That put a smile on my face for sure.  God's timing is impeccable.  I love that.  They arrived just when they were needed most.  

Now I must get busy writing back.  😄 How wonderful it is to get a piece of snail mail in these modern times.  I truly appreciated the efforts taken. This really made what was a low day for me so much brighter!

I was thrice blessed on that low day. A visit from my sister, and two lovely pieces of post.  God is good.

 

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This is me to a "T."  I am an old, old soul.  There are many things about these modern times that I cannot grasp. Oh, I do love certain benefits of technology, like being able to pay bills and attend meetings online, but I miss the sense of community that went along with the old ways. It was a time when you knew almost everyone in town, etc. I could not even tell you who the mayor is in my town at the moment, and I have been living in my house here for four years come May. 

Mind you, I don't frequent the local coffee shop or anything like that. I know a few people on my street, but I am not involved in community affairs or groups.  So, a part of the problem is me I suppose. I am far too insular I suppose.  But . . .  people, when you meet them and start talking to them, they want to know all about you. They want to share your history, etc. and I am not wanting to share my history of what happened and brought me back here. I don't know what to say.  I don't want people pointing fingers or judging, as I fear they might. You know . . .  small towns.

But I am an old soul who misses and longs for yesteryear and communities filled with compassion and kindness, genuine connectedness. We live in a different world.  It often moves too fast for me.

 

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We did take Dad and Maryann out yesterday. Maryann's face just lights up when she sees dad.  I don't really know much about Maryann, just that she is deaf and always has been and that she lives with her daughter and son-in-law.  I am not even sure how dad met her?  Probably at the mall. In any case he is always quick to say she is not his girlfriend, just a friend, but I think she feels a bit more for him than mere friendship.  In any case they do enjoy their outings together. 

While they were having their visit together with each other Cindy and I always go off and leave them to enjoy each other's company and do a few errands.  We didn't really have many places to go yesterday.  I am trying not to spend money and so is she.  We did go to Sobey's, and I picked up a few bits for a casserole I am wanting to make. She was going to look at some jeans and popped to Marks while I was walking around the grocery store. I forgot to ask her if she found any.  I don't think she did, or she would have said so.

I always like to get a Samosa for my supper when I am at Sobey's. The ones at the deli counter are very nice. I picked myself up a salad and a veggie samosa, but by heck it was spicy!  The samosa. It had a definite heat to it. It must have been a particularly spicy batch!

I remember when our Anthony was living in his first apartment, I used to go and pick up samosas for him and deliver them to him. It is a love we both share.  Samosas.  Anthony has always had a very broad palate and adventurous taste buds. He was never very finicky and always willing to try new things, and he is a brilliant cook. He is always cooking up something different. He would have made a great chef.

Now this is a sight that you don't see very often.  It is usually Cinnamon sitting in the basket, not Nutmeg, but for some reason he had taken it over last evening.  Remember when they both used to fit into it?

 Back when they were all whiskers and ears. Why are kittens so cute?  I don't know. They just are. It is hard not to fall in love with kittens and puppies.  They have a way of wrapping themselves around your heart.  

These two are such great company for me. I love them very much.

 

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I would have loved to have a bed like this when I was much younger. Not now of course. The logistics of getting in and out of it, or even just making it, don't bear thinking about.  But it does look like a space that one could fall asleep in very easily.

I am needing a new book to read. I have finished the one I was reading.  I will pass it on to dad. It was a bit of a romance story, and he might like it. He seems to like romance novels. He loves books by Danielle Steele as well.

Me, I like fairy tales.

 

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Self-care is never a selfish act -- it is simply

good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift

I was put on earth go offer others. Anytime we can listen to

true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only

for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.

~Parker Palmer

I have never been really good at caring for myself. Ever since I was a small child, I have been taking care of others and putting others first. And I have never truly felt good about myself. Loved myself. I think it is something I need to learn to do, but how to go about it.  Intellectually I know all the things we should be telling ourselves, but feeling it is something completely different. I have no difficulty being kind to others, speaking kindly to others, uplifting others, but to be honest, I say things to myself that I would never say to anyone else. I speak to myself in a way I would never speak to another human being. 

I am not sure how to change that inner dialogue. I did go to therapy a very long time ago. I believe now that I was suffering from post-natal depression at the time.  The therapist was not very good. She was a man-hater, always trying to get me to degrade or talk degradingly about the men in my life.  The last time I went to her; I had gotten there very early and so was sitting in the waiting room, I suppose just out of view. She came out and said something to her secretary about me not being there yet and being unreliable and a few other things. It was very unprofessional. I heard it all.  The hardest thing I ever had to do was to sit through that session. I never went back.

Every year I say I am going to be kinder to myself.  Every year I fall short of doing that.  But in all truth, we need to be kind to ourselves if we are going to be able to give genuine kindness to others. I need to teach myself to feel worthy and not to listen to that inner voice that says putting myself first is selfish. Therein lies the battle.

I think I have felt lacking from the very beginning of my life.  I was never good enough because I was not a boy.  Just being born a girl was falling short of the mark of the expectations of my mother. And I think I have felt that I was falling short the whole rest of my life. That I was never somehow good enough.  I think a lot of the choices I have made in my life have been based upon that premise, and I have settled for far less than I was worth, every single time.  That this feeling of falling short has kept me from fulfilling my potential.

I need to do something about that. I need to do some research.  I know all of this flies in the face of my faith. I am a daughter of God and should feel a lot better about myself and treat myself better, but what can I say  . . .  I am not perfect and old habits die hard. 

 

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I am not sure what I will get up to today. I have a lot of things which need doing. I am wanting to make granola. I have had it on my radar for a number of weeks now, but just haven't gotten to it. Hopefully today will be the day.  This recipe is my favorite.  I like to fill it with lots of nuts and large flakes of coconut. It uses olive oil and maple syrup. 

To me, granola and some Greek yogurt makes the perfect breakfast. 

I used to make granola all the time when my children were growing up. It was just about the only way I could get my children to eat oatmeal, other than in a cookie. Occasionally I would be able to get them to eat fried oatmeal.  (You pack it into a buttered loaf tin, cut it into slabs, dust it with flour and fry it in butter.) They liked that with syrup drizzled over it or cornmeal mush done the same way, but they always turned their noses up at a bowl of oatmeal.

I did not like oatmeal when I was a child either, but I do love it now.  Our tastes change as we age.

I also have a casserole that I want to make today and I want to work some more on my blanket. I need to change my bed, do some laundry.  Do a general tidy up before Sunday so I can begin the sabbath feeling right.  So, I best get off here as it is already 9:30 and my day is getting away from me already.

A thought to carry with you . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★

 *.Friendship is the icing
on the cake of life!
~unknown  ° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •

In the kitchen today  . . .  Almond Cookies. These are downright dangerous. You have been warned. Crispy edges, chewy frangipane centers, toasted flaked almonds on top. Too good.  Too good. Very, very nice.

I hope you have a lovely weekend. Whatever you get up to, be happy, be blessed and don't forget!

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And I do too!