Dear Neighbor . . .

 

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 3 ESTATE LANE, Nova Scotia
4*C/40*F light rain expected

Dear Neighbor,

Here I am, on another Friday, writing you a letter.  I hope you enjoy the photograph that I put as the header to my letter. I thought it was very spring-like and here we are in Spring, glorious Spring. Things will only continue to get warmer and prettier from here on in.

I love Primroses as well as Forget-Me-Nots.  Both are favorite flowers. Wild primroses are yellow in color, although I know you can get cultivated ones in many colors.  The Manor I worked at in the UK was at the top of the hill in this very small village. There was a stone pathway adjacent to the road that went down the hill from the manor into the village proper. I often took walks down that stone path and this time of year it was bordered all the way with yellow primroses.  I do not think I had ever seen a proper primrose before the ones that I saw on that path. They are such a beautiful and delicate flower, but I find that with most flowers when you really look at and observe them.  They are beautiful and delicate, tiny miracles of nature. Each one different and beautiful in their own right.

I have a great love for flowers.  

 

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What a wonderful world we live in that our God has given us that it is full of flowers.  So many kinds and so diverse, in a multitude of colors and fragrances, and they are just one of the many gifts he gave us stewardship of and to enjoy. When you think of it, the miraculous gifts and wonders on this planet never cease. They are in abundance . . .  and if they are not, then it is only us that we have to blame, and the poor way that we have taken care of them. 

And it is said that Heaven is even more beautiful  . . . I cannot imagine.

 

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The birdsong at this time is at its most beautiful. They have caught the spring fever also. This is the time they start to build their nests and begin their flirty little dances with each other.  They build their nests, and they call to each other in a dance of attraction. 

Birdsong is one of the classic sounds of spring. With the warming temperatures, they become louder and much more vocal with each other, singing loud and complex songs to attract a mate or to defend a territory.  It is nature and the male sings the more beautiful song. 

Female birds tend to be attracted to the best singers. Males who can sing frequently, exhibit vocal complexity, and even show vocal creativity are often more successful at attracting mates. That’s why males sing so much more than females and put considerable effort into their complex vocalizations. The high levels of birdsong in spring help facilitate pair bonding between males and females prior to breeding.  

Are we not so very blessed to be able to witness via our ears such a beautiful response to what is basic nature and instinct?  I think so . . . 

 

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We are a bit like the birds in the spring ourselves. Oh, we do not hop from branch to branch singing out to each other, but we do hop about the yard and garden, clearing away the debris that is left from the winter months.  Making everything neat and tidy for the burst of flora and color to come. Things are still quite drab here.  We must be careful not to clear away too much too early. There are many insects such as bees which winter beneath leaf and brush and until things are really in full swing, they need the protection of this cover.

But that doesn't mean we cannot scurry about our homes, tidying up, clearing out, getting rid of the dross that has accumulated over the Winter months.

Oh, it feels so good on some of these warmer days to be able to open the windows and let the fresh air run through the house, clearing away the dust and stale air that just a few weeks ago was bringing us comfort and cheer.

Oh, I know it is early days yet, and Winter may rise up and snap at us a few more times on her way out of the room, but she is surely on the run, and it won't be long before the sight of her backside hustling off will be all that's left of her.

And in the meantime, we prepare for the joys to be experienced ahead.  I have much to sort out . . . 

 

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Here is the latest news on our brother David's cancer journey.  I will copy and paste from his Facebook page here, as he can explain it all much better than I can.

So, continuing in my cancer journey here. We met with the oncologist today and he confirms that the tumors are small and in a good position to get at. Ablation treatment is still a good option, but he now has to refer it to the tumor board to review and decide if they want to do it. As well, he wants a chest x-ray to also verify that there is no other thoracic involvement. They will want to do an ultrasound to make sure they can image it that way. They may want a biopsy first or ablate one tumor and biopsy it at the same time, then do the other. We'll have to wait and see what they say. It may be 3-6 months before treatment, but so far, the good news is that it is not growing or growing very slowly, so not too urgent. So, not a hard definitive plan, but things are slowly unfolding.

Please continue to keep him in your prayers. It is not a quick or an easy fix, but it is not the worst news either. I do believe in miracles and that all will be well in the end.  

He is now officially a pensioner. He is planning on coming home to see Dad at some point in the next couple of months and will likely stay here as I have the bedroom and the bed. Hence my need to have a good clear out. That back bedroom often becomes a dumping ground for things that I want to get rid of, don't need, etc. Most people have a space like that.  I don't have a basement or a shed, so mine is the back bedroom.  It is nothing that a good clear out can't fix.

 

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We have plans to take dad and his friend Maryann out again this afternoon. It is something that they enjoy, this once-a-week time together. Now that the snow has all gone, it will be a regular thing most likely.  It is harder to do in the Winter months.  When Dad lived in his own place, he used to pick her up three afternoons a week, but that's not so easy for us to bring to pass with the other commitments we have.  Once a week is much easier for us to manage.  We usually drop them off and then Cindy and I go and do a few errands while they enjoy their time together.  They sit in the little food court outside of the A&W and Dad has a buddy burger while Maryann plays her scratch cards.  And they visit with each other, keep each other company. 

I need to get some kitty litter and pick up a few other bids like compost bags, etc. I used to have my kitty litter delivered by Amazon, but they were huge boxes and not very easy for me to manhandle. Nor for the delivery people to cope with either. Very heavy.  Now I buy it at Giant Tiger in smaller boxes. 

Cinnamon is very fussy. She only likes one kind of litter.  She is fussy with her food as well. She only likes one kind of food.

Nutmeg is not so fussy. He will eat just about anything and is much easier going when it comes to things like litter.  He is pretty bossy, however.  He is the King of this castle.  I don't mind. 

Love them both to bits.

 

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My son Douglas facetimed me last evening for a short. It was good to talk to him.  He is such a good man and such a good son. I truly appreciate that he takes the time to stay in touch with me as often as he does.  I tend not to message him, mostly because he works and has the three boys, etc. to care for. I wait for him to message me.  He says I can message him any time and if he is busy with work or whatever he will just let me know, but I tend to wait for him to make the first move.  I am like that with most people. I will wait for them to get in touch. Not because I don't want to spend time with them, etc., but because I am not wanting to be a nuisance.  

That is just who I am.  I don't like to take things or people for granted.  I know that I have Sunday dinner with my sister most Sundays, but I don't like to take that for granted either. I kind of like to be invited, so I can know for sure that it is happening. I think that is because I have been rejected so much in life that I need to be reassured that I am welcome.  Does that make sense?  I just do not want to be a nuisance to anyone.  It is what it is.

 

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 I am a person who dreams very vivid dreams and in color. My dreams will often last all night long, like a series, one running into the other and all making perfect sense.  Last night I was having this dream where I was at school, and we were being or choosing to be paired up with lads.  I cannot tell you who the lad was that I was paired up with, but for some reason in this dream you needed the lad to kiss you to make it sure. And I was worried the whole night through that this lad would not want to kiss me.  haha  Dreams are funny things.  I have heard it said that they are the way our unconscious mind expresses itself and gets itself out, but I say that often it is the cheese that you ate before bed that is talking.  lol

I have resigned myself to not ever having another partner in life. I am not looking and am not interested. There may be some part of me that feels a bit sad that I was never able to find that one true love, that sweet spot in life where I was welcome and honored and accepted. Even in my second marriage, with all of the children, etc. I always felt like an interloper, like I didn't truly belong.  A square peg in a round hole.  I have always felt that way.

It is only now, living on my own, in my own space, taking care of myself that I feel at home and settled. Like I belong. Like I fit.  And sometimes, yes, I do feel bad that I was never able to find that special someone that I could feel like that with, but it always just felt like pretend. And it was pretend.

Life is too short to spend it with people who do not honor or respect you. Who don't make you feel secure or at peace.  At home.

When I am on my own, I am a round peg that fits into the space I have carved for my soul.  I don't have to pretend to fit. I can just be me.

 

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Oh, how I love this.  I feel this way about every season, every month . . .  to be able to put it so eloquently, that is a true gift.  Oh, how blessed we are to have such talented people in the world who can put the songs of our heart on paper and bring to life the things that we feel, to make them tangible. To share these special thoughts and feelings in such a beautiful way. I am grateful.

 

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Happy International Day of Forests.  I am looking forward to the greening of my community, to the bursting forth of leaf. 

My blanket has 20 large squares now.  I think perhaps I am crocheting two without even thinking about it.

And with that I will end this missive. I have not said much, not really, but some days are like that.  Be well.

A thought to carry with you  . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★

 *.You do not wake up and

become the butterfly.

Growth is a process.

~Rupi Kaur° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •

In the kitchen today, Creamy Tomato Soup with Cheddar Dumplings.  There won't be too many more days when soup will be as comforting as it still is. This was fabulously delicious.

I hope you have a beautiful Friday. Be happy. Be blessed. Be safe. Be healthy.  Don't forget!

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And I do too!