So yesterday was a hard day, and I know that I will have many more hard and difficult days to come. But you just get through them. I am sure many of you cannot understand why it would be hard for me. I am not sure if I could even explain it. I lost my husband, or at least the person I thought my husband was, in the blink of an eye. I loved my husband very much. He had been my whole world for 20 years and then *pouf* it was gone, he was gone. I am in mourning but not allowed to mourn. Because the man I am mourning was not real. Its just a very difficult and unusual place to be, and sometimes it makes me incredibly sad.
When we first got married I found myself making up or wanting to make up for all of the lonely and sad years I thought he had had before we met. I made sure that every Birthday was a cause for celebration, every holiday. I made them the best that I could for him, from beginning to end. I gave him Birthday parties, made all of his celebrations as special as I could in every way possible. The same as I would for anyone that I loved. I suppose I felt so sorry for him having been alone for as long as he had been. I wanted to make up for all of that loneliness. I never thought to question the reality of why he had been alone, or why his children had abandoned him. I just saw this wonderful kind man who deserved more than what he had gotten. He was witty and kind and fun. He loved the Lord as much as I did. I know, I was incredibly naïve.
And the thing is, I was very happy for almost all of those 20 years. So there will be moments when I do feel incredibly sad over it all. I feel incredibly sad for his victim (s) as well, lest anyone think anything different.
This man that I loved so incredibly much was a mirage. I was cat-fished in the worst possible way I suppose and it lasted 20 years. He went into prison just 4 days short of our 20th wedding anniversary.
But God is good. He knows the end from the beginning and He knew that yesterday was going to be a sad day for me and so . . .
His timing is impeccable. I got mail. Elaine had posted me a late Birthday gift and it arrived yesterday, a few days earlier than the post office had said it would apparently. It was a beautiful distraction and really cheered my heart to no end. I am not sure I always deserve such kindnesses but I am most appreciative of them. I just sat and looked at the packages for a few minutes . . . pondering on the fact that someone should think so much of me as all that. Feeling grateful for our friendship. Feeling grateful for God's timing. But at the same time feeling so undeserved.
I opened the big flat one first. Oh my . . . but this is so beautiful. I have hung it up near my front door so that it is one of the first things that people will see when they come into my home. And the colours are so right! So very, very right.
Elaine's gifts are always impeccably wrapped, beautifully wrapped. There is so much care put into them. I am appalling at wrapping gifts. And that is the truth. Elaine's gifts delight the eye from the get-go. I need to do better.
She even included Nutmeg and Cinnamon, with cat treats and a small bag of toys that they have really been enjoying. Today I will have to fish them out from under wherever it is they have made them disappear to. I did not give them all at once. Just one ball each and one spring each. Those springs! Genius! They were their favorite thing. My mother's cat used to love to play with an old plastic curler of hers, so the springs are very similar!
There is even a tiny box/gift for Eileen, which she is excited about. It is so kind of Elaine to always include Eileen.
I just love, love, love these beautiful pillow cases. Stunning is the word. What a beautiful print. So crisp and so pretty. I can't wait to use them.
Benjamin Bunny. And he's a music box. He plays a little tune. So pretty. So cute. So Beatrix Potter whom I love as you know. So very thoughtful.
Tabitha Twitchet. The long-suffering mother of three very unruly kittens. Moppet, Mittens and Tom Kitten. She owns her own shop. A beautiful addition to my collection of BP figurines along with Benjamin.
Thank you so much Elaine. You helped to turn my sad day into a better day. 💕There is no mystery to God's timing. Elaine had felt bad because she was late getting this into the post, but that's the way God wanted it to be. I got the gift exactly when I was supposed to get the gift!
Then there were first day of school photographs. Jon is going into Grade 10, Josh into grade 7 and Jake into grade 6. How did that happen? Its so hard to believe my grandsons are growing up so much. Somebody stop it! I want them to stay young forever.
Gabe is also going into grade 10, which is hard to believe. And a moustache. I can remember when his father was 15 and going into grade 10.
I can remember when I was 15 and going into Grade 10! Such a long time ago now!
Luke, I think grade 6. They are growing up so fast. I lost track of ages and years.
Maryn and Cam. I have no idea. I think perhaps grade 5 and grade 3? That is their new puppy. It is a miniature Australian Labradoodle.
They all look happy and content. I pray and wish for each of them to have a happy, successful and safe year at school. May all be well with them.
I am praying that we are all able to see each other soon. Wouldn't that be a great thing for all of us. To be able to actually spend real time with our families again. 💓
We should never ever take for granted the opportunity to spend time with our families. If there is one good thing to come out of Covid let it be this. Family is everything.
Cinnamon
Sleepy kittens. I take photos to show Eileen when we are messaging each other. She is in love with them as am I.
Nutmeg
This was a rare time of quiet. They were both napping. They are growing so fast. I see changes every day. Their eyes are both changing from blue now.
They like to be close to each other and to me. That makes me happy.
Dad stopped by on his way to my sister's yesterday for supper. He wanted to spend some time playing with the kittens. Such a special blessing to me. Time with my father. I never thought I would have it again.
God is good. Incredibly good.
And with that I best leave you with a thought for today as the days-a-wasting and I have work to be getting on with . . .
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
*What is most important
almost always involves
the people around us.
~Thomas S Monson•。★★ 。* 。
In The English Kitchen today. Grandma's Chinese Chicken Casserole. I don't know why these things got called Chinese because there really isn't much Chinese about them, but they are incredibly tasty! I downsized my recipe. Same deliciousness as the full size.
Have a wonderful Wednesday. No matter what you get up to today, look for the silver lining, the blessings that are our to find, and don't forget!
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