Saturday, 24 August 2024

All Things Nice . . .

 

I love bright things -- a blue cup for my tea
A pottery plate bright as an orange skin,
A drinking glass with yellow tulips on,
The gaudy sparkle of a jewelled pin.

I love a tablecloth where roses bloom
Cheerful and gay as any flower bed,
Red holly hocks beside a garden wall,
A pewter plate to hold my daily bread.

I love bright curtains draped in tiny folds
To let the gleaming bars of sunlight through,
A cushion on a chair of colored blocks,
A tiny woven rug of turquoise blue.

I love a crimson coat gay as a flag,
A white sail poised above a quiet sea,
The royal blue of grapes . . . the sheen of silk,
Red candles shining on a Christmas tree.

I love blue lightning . . raindrops on a wire
A golden hilltop . . planes with silver wings,
The world is beautiful and fair to me,
I have the company of lovely things.
~Edna Jacques, I Love Bright Things
Aunt Hattie's Place, 1941


Oh, this poem is so me.  I, myself, love bright things, pretty things. I have surrounded myself with pretty things here in my wee home.  Hand embroidered tea towels , crochet dish cloths, a small sugar dish covered in roses, my pretty pink checked table cloth and the chair covers in blue chintz . . . and that is just one small corner.  I came from such a place of sadness that when I set up my new home I vowed to only fill it with things that delighted me and which brought me joy and I have been able to do so.  So many of the things that once brought me joy had to be left behind, but . . . as I say that, I am reminded that it is not "things" which bring us joy so much as it is the small and simple pleasures of faith, family and friend.   And I have surrounded myself with much of that as well.  My life is filled with lovely things, people and activities which make my heart swell with love and appreciation.  Joy and gratitude.


 

One thing which I was prompted to do this week was to send for my marriage certificate.  He always kept all of these things and I have no idea where the original ended up.  I thought it was a wise thing for me to have, and so I figured out how to go about getting a copy and I sent for one. We are still married. I have no plans to divorce. I have no plans to date or remarry so why pay for a divorce.  I was thinking this week and I thought that it would be a good thing to have . . .  this marriage certificate. I expect I will be a widow at some point, and I might be entitled to a widow's pension from the U.K. and it would be good to have a copy of our marriage certificate when it came time for that. 

I am not sure if I will be entitled to anything at all, but I thought it would be a good thing to have.


 


I did a new video yesterday.  I quite enjoy doing the videos.  Yes, they are a lot of work, but it is work that I enjoy.  And I am learning something new each time I make one. I am not sure I am getting any better at it, but, I am having fun doing it.  One thing that I like about it is that I am getting used to looking at myself. I know that seems like a strange thing perhaps.  But, I have never been comfortable with my looks. NEVER  And I say that with all honesty. Not when I was a child. Not when I was a teenager, a young bride, through my children's growing up years, as a middle aged woman, etc. Oh, I can look at photos of me from back when and think to myself  . . .  hmmm . . . I guess I didn't look as bad as I thought I did, but that the fact remains that I have always felt very unattractive.  Even  now I feel unattractive.  I am completely unable to see any redeeming qualities when I look at myself. Other's may say I have a nice smile, pretty eyes, etc.  But I just do not see that. I have always HATED having  my photo taken.  I have never been comfortable with it.  And here I am making videos. This was a HUGE leap for me. HUGE.  And no, I do not see myself as being even remotely attractive in the videos, lol  Not at all.  But I am getting used to seeing me and that is not such a bad thing.  Maybe through this experience, I will finally become more accepting of me, looking like me, being me. More comfortable in my own skin. Gain confidence in . . .  me.


I don't know why I have always felt this way. I just always have.  Sometimes these things are ingrained in your psyche from a very early age.


 


In short  . . .   I am learning how to love and accept myself.  This is something we all should do.  I think it will help to make us much happier if we can learn to love and accept ourselves.  Not in a narcissistic way, but very much in a healing way.  Learning to see and love ourselves as God sees and loves us.





One thing which I have really enjoyed doing this week is working in my journal.  I did at least ten pages this week.  It is a time of great introspection for me and reflection as I work away at it. Choosing the stickers I want to use, which quotes and thoughts to include, which scripture verses have spoken to me over these days.  I feel very much as peace as I work away at it.  Maybe I am the only one it will ever bring joy to, but maybe it won't.  As I work on each page my mind and heart are filled with love for the people who may one day enjoy the things I have written, included. Perhaps they will be inspired by them as well. 

I wish I had some of the early diaries that I started to write when I was a child. I am sure they would be filled with exciting things such as, I got up, had breakfast, went to school, had lunch, went to math, came home, had supper, watched television, went to bed  . . . thankfully, somewhere along the way I have learned that journals should be something much more personal and less mundane.  A glimpse of who you are as a person, filled with things and occurrences which meant something to you.  Tiny windows into who you were and are.


 

There is a part of me that has always wanted to touch the sky.  To be able to fly like a bird, to soar.  To float up there with the clouds, looking down at the earth below.  Imagine how it must have felt to be one of those early astronauts looking back at the earth from the windows in their spaceship.  What an awesome feeling that must have been and somewhat humbling as well I would imagine.  We think we are so big and important in the scheme of things, but we really are not  . . . 

When I was living in our little cottage down in Kent, we regularly used to have hot air balloons floating above the Estate and area.  The Kentish Weald was an area of great beauty and a very popular spot for hot air balloon rides.  It was kind of eerie as well when they floated over. You could ear the rush of the air from the fire pots which held them aloft.  I do not know the proper names for these things  . . . sometimes you could see small figures of the people in them and you could give them a wave and they would wave back.

I have always love to watch airplanes flying over, thinking about all the people on the planes and the trips they are taking . . . the  reasons for those trips.  The mix of emotions and lives contained in those soaring carriages.

I have always been a people watcher and thinking.  I love to watch people and then imagine who they are and what their lives are like.  I have invented stories in my mind about them . . .  vague imaginations.  Probably a lot more exciting than the lives they really lead.


 

Notes of gold and amber, tiny glints . . .  are starting to show themselves in the leaves at the tops of the trees. Now it is just a small glimpse here and there, but soon it will become more noticeable and most unmistakable. Autumn is on it's way.  

The gardens are starting to look a tiny bit tired I think.  Unless you have been wise enough to plant Brown Eyed Susans.  They are coming gloriously alive with the sunflowers and the ditches filled with Golden rod.  

I used to love walking across the orchards and along the weald when we lived in Kent at this time of year.  Noisy with birdsong in the spring, it would have fallen silent with only the occasion sound of birdsong, and faint rustle beneath the hedgerows which bordered the orchard pathways.  The ground would be scattered with acorns dropped, which were almost painful to walk upon, depending on your choice of footware.

The brush filled with the spent seeds of  once glorious wildflower blooms  . . . late summer  . . . 


 



Each season holds its beauty, wonder and magic don't you think?  Especially if you have eyes and hearts that are open and ready to drink them in.


I don't have a lot planned for today. A bit of this and a bit of that. I will probably vacuum and wash the floors.  Change my bed. I had in mind to do that yesterday, but I was tired after all of my filming, etc. and decided to put it off until today.  Cindy stopped by and I was able to give her a cake to bring home for their household to enjoy. That made me happy. I love to give and share things with people.  It brings me joy.   And we have now come full circle because I am speaking again of joy and gratitude and so I will end this now with a thought for the weekend  . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★
*I would do anything for my children,
but God CAN do anything for my children.
That's why I am a mother who prays.
~Unknown  ° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 


Jordon Marsh Blueberry Muffins


In The English Kitchen today  . . .  Jordon Marsh Blueberry Muffins, the small batch. Six beautiful muffins, stuffed to the hilt with lovely fresh sweet blueberries.  What's not to love?


I hope that you have a most beautiful weekend. Filled with people, places, things, etc. that fill your heart with joy and love. I will be back Monday to share with you. In the meantime, don't forget!


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And I do too! 
 





 

14 comments:

  1. Lovely poem as always. I've never done journaling, good for you for being consistent with it. Sometimes the best days are the unplanned ones, you never know what will happen. Today is my usual laundry and soup making day. The nights are pulling in for sure, 8:30 and it is getting dark now. Enjoy the weekend.

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    1. It is just something that I really enjoy Linda. I work so much of the time, I like to spend my off time doing things I enjoy! Hope you have a lovely weekend! xoxo

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  2. If one has to give up things, it is to be hoped that there are a few family members nearby to help fill the gaps in life...so glad you have those!! We have moved so often, at this point, not a lot left really...not for our age in life anyway. But one does what one must and actually, we take nothing from this life that is material anyway. I think many women feel as you do about their looks, Marie...but I think age is the great equalizer...most all of us humans are not pretty by the time we reach this stage of life. I think you look welcoming and safe and friendly...those are all great qualities!! Besides, if one is not seeking a mate, there should be no worry right?? I do think you are so correct, to order and keep a copy of the marriage certificate, just in case you might at least qualify for a widow's pay at some point. After all, you did nothing wrong. (Of course, we pay plenty in life I have found, for the sins of others too!!) I am prone to hang onto all sorts of paperwork as one never knows what may prove of help later!!
    Hugs, ELizabeth xoxo

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    1. This is all true. I am not seeking a mate, so it doesn't really matter which probably also adds to my confidence! You are right, age is the great equalizer for sure. Have a great weekend! Hugs, xoxo

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  3. "I wish I were a little bird a-flying,
    I'd soar on high up in a sky of blue,
    and then I'd sing and send the sweetest notes a-winging,
    Until they turned and came right back to you."

    Composer unknown. This song is from elementary school music class over a half-century ago.

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  4. Happy Saturday Marie! You write so beautifully, wish I could say the same! I have the same thoughts as you about my looks, but I am what I am …and I’m starting to look just like my mother…and she was simply lovely and kind….so, I’ll take that face in the mirror, wrinkles and all. I love the free magic wands…let’s all make a delightful wish today! xo, V.

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    1. I look like my father. I wish I looked more like my mother. My sister got all of her looks. Yes, lets make a delightful wish today! xoxo

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  5. Hi Marie, I loved Elizabeth's comments about age, looks, and being smart to keep your marriage certificate! Could I just offer some observations about your looks? You have a delicate way of expressing with your hands and arms, and I noticed this in your video. They almost look as though you are dancing, and moving your hands gracefully. Overall, I would observe you as being rather petite, and being so means that your weight and height will be a major part of your looks. As long as you are healthy, being rounded somewhat is normal. Why not? You do have the kind face, as mentioned, and also -- I think it is a neutral face -- by that I mean it is non-judgemental. Your face is observing your surroundings. Now for the hair. Your hair could be a try-out with using a shorter wig, which is above the shoulders and rather more waved than it is curly. I noticed that you have beautiful skin. You have expressive eyes. The wig will give you an idea to have the shorter cut and a body perm, if you think you like the way you look that way. There is an eye liner that you can smudge at the top of your eye. You can soften it using baby oil, or a blow dryer, so that it is easier to smudge, rather than making a hard type of line. Smudging your eye lid above your eyes will give you some mystery, and with a little mascara, that is it. No need for more. Keeping your brows neatly shaped, with no additional color brushed on works. That way, your eyes will dominate your face. Now for the lips. You are fortunate that you have your teeth. Your parents taught you well, and the brushing shows. Why not just a little bit of coral or pale pink tint on your lips? No reds -- too harsh. Now look at you! A beautiful lady in every way! xoxo

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    1. Thanks very much for all of your nice suggestions! I will bear them in mind! xoxo

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  6. Marie, your journal is just beautiful. I aspire to have one, but I'm too much of a self-critic to maintain one for very long. I need to take a different attitude and realize, as you do, that a journal is also a way of sharing with your loved ones after you're gone. I especially want my little granddaughter to have something to remember me by as she gets older.

    As you said, I also wish I still had diaries from when I was younger. I was my own worst critic even then, but I think I'd really enjoy being able to ready them now.

    I've enjoyed your videos a lot, although I've gotten a little behind and will finally have time to catch up tomorrow, I hope! You are seeming more and more like a pro, comfortable with the camera! I enjoy watching you a lot, and as mentioned before, it's like being in the room with a neighbor or close friend.

    Sorry for the long note, but one final bit... I chose to get a divorce myself because I was nervous that he might rack up more debt that I would be partly responsible for repaying if we were still married. We lived in a "community property" state. Just another consideration... although your idea about getting some widow's pay is important, as well. In any case, if you ever did decide to divorce, mine only cost a couple hundred dollars for a paralegal to fill out the forms.

    All the best to you, and thanks for all the joy you share! ❤️

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    1. I admit that keeping a journal can be daunting at first and you do need to develop updating it as a bit of a habit. But once you get going Becky, you really look forward to the exercise. I think it helps that I have some really pretty stickers to use as well as I look forward to using them in unique ways. Thanks so much for your comments re my videos. I am dancing as fast as I can! But I am enjoying it for sure. I never thought that I would! Never worry about a long comment! I love them all. One reason I don't want to get divorced is that I don't want to have to give him half of what I have built up for myself. When he gets out of prison, if he does, he would be entitled to half of everything and I don't want to give it to him. Maybe I am being selfish. xoxo

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  7. Love your journaling book, did you make it yourself? It looks very pretty! Those muffins look delicious..think I will treat myself soon. I'm glad you got brave and started doing videos, they're lovely and informative and you present them in such a real and comfort format.

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    1. Thanks Beth! I bought the notebook several years ago, hard cover, from Papier. I've been working on it now since before I left the U.K. Thanks also for your lovely words re my videos. I am stretching myself for sure! xoxo

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Your comments mean the world to me, and while I may not be able to address each one individually, each one is important to me and each one counts. Thanks so much!