I'm really late getting on here this morning. It was very close to 7 before I woke up. I have been waking up a lot later lately. Not sure if it is because of the time change or not. In any case, I must need the sleep or I wouldn't be sleeping. DUH That made sense eh?
Today is my wedding anniversary. When Todd and I got married I picked November 11th as the day so he would never forget our anniversary. (Remembrance Day is usually celebrated on the Sunday before the 11th in the UK, unless the 11th happens to fall on a Sunday.) I also wanted to make the 11th of November a happy memory instead of the one it had always been . . . that of a husband rolling home drunk and combative after having spent a day drinking with his buddies. I remember thinking that it would be nice to have it be a day that had nicer connotations attached to it. Well, now . . . . it really is a day that I have difficulty with, having cemented that with my folly.
Oh well . . . I couldn't have known.
Its very quiet in here this morning. Eileen is still sleeping. She said last night that she was going to have a pajama day today. I've showered and dressed, fed the cats and am now sitting here with Frank Sinatra playing on the laptop accompanying me as I write. I've been listening to Frank a lot lately. I enjoy him along with Michael Bublé. I find their music to be quite calming and reflective.
I can remember seeing old cartoons when I was a child where all of the stars of the 1940's would be characterized and "Frankie" being one of them. Of course as a child I had no idea of who he was.
I put an end to that relationship that was developing with that guy on IG earlier this week. To be honest he was a bit of a nutter, but he did make me laugh and appealed a bit to that side of any woman who likes to feel that she is desirable by someone. I decided to tell him about Todd in an attempt to explain to him why I was leery of developing a relationship with anyone online, and he didn't take it very well. I am not sure if he thought I was making it up or what, or if he thought it was impossible that I couldn't have known. To be honest I cannot blame him for thinking such a thing. I have family members who feel the same way. In any case, I decided that it wasn't worth the trouble and after he woke me up texting me 1:30 in the morning one night I decided to delete and block him.
It has left me thinking however . . . I have, at the very least, 20 years of my life that I am always going to have difficulty explaining to people, and most people are not going to "get it" or be able to understand it. It's like a huge vacuum space that I have nothing to fill with. People who have known me for a very long time know that's not who I am, or at least they should do, but I can't expect others not to accept me at face value. I don't think I am going to actively pursue being with anyone at all. I will just have to let other things fill the space that my heart longs to have filled with someone who cares. It is what it is and there's nothing I can really do about it.
There is that guy here in town that I kind of fancy. We are friends on Facebook and were at school together, but again . . . I would probably have to have some sort of explanation for things and I am not going there again.
"I carry both grace and grit. One teaches me when to bend;
the other reminds me not to break."
~L.T. Khoarai
The years have taught me that resilience isn't always found in pushing harder. Sometimes it's found in knowing when to soften, when to forgive, when to let go and when to stand firm.
Life requires both. The grace to be gentle with ourselves and others. The grit to keep going when the road becomes difficult. Neither is weakness. Together they are strength.
Both are gifts. Both are necessary. Both live within each of us. Grace and grit. A beautiful balance for the journey.
Because today is a holiday here in Nova Scotia, we decided to have our family dinner out yesterday. The restaurant that dad likes to go to was going to be closed today. I also knew that Eileen would be disappointed if we missed it. She really looks forward to those meals out. They had a Two for One dinner special on. You could either get the Haddie Bits or Cheeseburgers.
We all got Cheeseburgers. They came with Frings and were supposed to come with coleslaw as well, but it never appeared. We were surprised also that it was one order of Frings to be divided between two people. (Frings are onion rings and French fries, together.) It does make it a bit awkward. I didn't want much of either one, but you got a small bread plate with a burger on it and a basket holding the Frings, that you would then have to divide between the two people. Not a problem for me and Eileen, but a bit of a problem for Dad and Cindy.
Cindy handled it by putting her burger on her napkin and her share of the Frings on the plate. I never thought of doing that myself. I just put some of the Frings on my plate with the burger. I knew I wasn't going to want to eat many of them anyways.
In any case we muddled through it, but I don't think I would ever go for the Two Can Dine deal again.
It was very quiet in there last night though, which I didn't mind. Its usually quite noisy which makes it difficult to speak to one another. Dad had a piece of cherry pie for dessert and Eileen had an ice cream sundae which she really enjoyed. I do so love to make her happy.
She will be back at her own place next Monday. I will miss her.
Well, I don't have a lot else to share this morning. Its a dull day out and quite cool. I don't expect we will be going anywhere. It's gone 9 a.m. and I do have to be getting on with other things, so . . .
A thought to carry with you . . .
☾ ° ★° * 。
• ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★★ 。* 。° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★*Nothing shows
a man's character more
than what he laughs at.
~Goethe
I made this delicious supper for Eileen and I on Monday.
Pork Chops with Cranberry Sauce and Stuffing. Not only was it quick and easy to make, but it was very delicious. I will make this again. I think you could also do it with chicken and it would be lovely.
I hope you have a great day. Remembrance Day here. The day we remember those who gave up their lives in service to our great country. Whatever you get up to today, don't forget!
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And I do too!
