Wednesday Witterings . . .

 

 

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I'm really late getting on here this morning. It was very close to 7 before I woke up. I have been waking up a lot later lately. Not sure if it is because of the time change or not. In any case, I must need the sleep or I wouldn't be sleeping. DUH That made sense eh?

Today is my wedding anniversary.  When Todd and I got married I picked November 11th as the day so he would never forget our anniversary. (Remembrance Day is usually celebrated on the Sunday before the 11th in the UK, unless the 11th happens to fall on a Sunday.)  I also wanted to make the 11th of November a happy memory instead of the one it had always been  . . .  that of a husband rolling home drunk and combative after having spent a day drinking with his buddies. I remember thinking that it would be nice to have it be a day that had nicer connotations attached to it. Well, now . . . .  it really is a day that I have difficulty with, having cemented that with my folly.

Oh well  . . . I couldn't have known.

 

(source)

Its very quiet in here this morning. Eileen is still sleeping. She said last night that she was going to have a pajama day today. I've showered and dressed, fed the cats and am now sitting here with Frank Sinatra playing on the laptop accompanying me as I write. I've been listening to Frank a lot lately. I enjoy him along with Michael Bublé. I find their music to be quite calming and reflective. 

I can remember seeing old cartoons when I was a child where all of the stars of the 1940's would be characterized and "Frankie" being one of them. Of course as a child I had no idea of who he was.  

 

 

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 I put an end to that relationship that was developing with that guy on IG earlier this week. To be honest he was a bit of a nutter, but he did make me laugh and appealed a bit to that side of any woman who likes to feel that she is desirable by someone.  I decided to tell him about Todd in an attempt to explain to him why I was leery of developing a relationship with anyone online, and he didn't take it very well. I am not sure if he thought I was making it up or what, or if he thought it was impossible that I couldn't have known. To be honest I cannot blame him for thinking such a thing. I have family members who feel the same way. In any case, I decided that it wasn't worth the trouble and after he woke me up texting me 1:30 in the morning one night I decided to delete and block him. 

It has left me thinking however  . . .  I have, at the very least, 20 years of my life that I am always going to have difficulty explaining to people, and most people are not going to "get it" or be able to understand it. It's like a huge vacuum space that I have nothing to fill with. People who have known me for a very long time know that's not who I am, or at least they should do, but I can't expect others not to accept me at face value.  I don't think I am going to actively pursue being with anyone at all.  I will just have to let other things fill the space that my heart longs to have filled with someone who cares. It is what it is and there's nothing I can really do about it.

There is that guy here in town that I kind of fancy. We are friends on Facebook and were at school together,  but again  . . . I would probably have to have some sort of explanation for things and I am not going there again.

 

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"I carry both grace and grit. One teaches me when to bend;

the other reminds me not to break."

~L.T. Khoarai

The years have taught me that resilience isn't always found in pushing harder. Sometimes it's found in knowing when to soften, when to forgive, when to let go and when to stand firm. 

Life requires both. The grace to be gentle with ourselves and others. The grit to keep going when the road becomes difficult. Neither is weakness. Together they are strength.

Both are gifts. Both are necessary. Both live within each of us.  Grace and grit. A beautiful balance for the journey. 

 

(source)

Because today is a holiday here in Nova Scotia, we decided to have our family dinner out yesterday. The restaurant that dad likes to go to was going to be closed today.  I also knew that Eileen would be disappointed if we missed it. She really looks forward to those meals out.  They had a Two for One dinner special on.  You could either get the Haddie Bits or Cheeseburgers. 

We all got Cheeseburgers. They came with Frings and were supposed to come with coleslaw as well, but it never appeared. We were surprised also that it was one order of Frings to be divided between two people. (Frings are onion rings and French fries, together.) It does make it a bit awkward.  I didn't want much of either one, but you got a small bread plate with a burger on it and a basket holding the Frings, that you would then have to divide between the two people. Not a problem for me and Eileen, but a bit of a problem for Dad and Cindy. 

Cindy handled it by putting her burger on her napkin and her share of the Frings on the plate. I never thought of doing that myself. I just put some of the Frings on my plate with the burger. I knew I wasn't going to want to eat many of them anyways.

In any case we muddled through it, but I don't think I would ever go for the Two Can Dine deal again.

It was very quiet in there last night though, which I didn't mind. Its usually quite noisy which makes it difficult to speak to one another.  Dad had a piece of cherry pie for dessert and Eileen had an ice cream sundae which she really enjoyed. I do so love to make her happy.

She will be back at her own place next Monday. I will miss her.

Well, I don't have a lot else to share this morning. Its a dull day out and quite cool. I don't expect we will be going anywhere. It's gone 9 a.m. and I do have to be getting on with other things, so . . . 

A thought to carry with you  . . . 

☾ ° ★° * 。  

• ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★

*Nothing shows

a man's character more

than what he laughs at.

~Goethe

 

I made this delicious supper for Eileen and I on Monday. Pork Chops with Cranberry Sauce and Stuffing.  Not only was it quick and easy to make, but it was very delicious. I will make this again. I think you could also do it with chicken and it would be lovely.

I hope you have a great day.  Remembrance Day here. The day we remember those who gave up their lives in service to our great country.  Whatever you get up to today, don't forget!

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⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿

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And I do too!    

   

A Day Book . . .

 

FOR TODAY, November 10th, 2026

OUTSIDE MY WINDOW ...

All the leaves are down. The arms of the trees across the way are outstretched to the heavens in praise, knowing that after a period of rest they will be able to don a new dress.  A new dress every spring. How nice is that?

I AM THINKING ...

How glad I am that Russell Brand was held accountable for his past actions. I think the sentence he got, 10 years and six months, for what he did was not near enough however. He will probably only serve half that time, and he will probably get special treatment in there because of who he is, but at least he will be in prison. Can a tiger really change its stripes? I dunno, but he has a spot of time to think about it. 

I AM ALSO THINKING ...

This can put things into perspective.  Also, just to let you all know, that guy I was talking to has been erased, blocked, gone. I'm really not that stupid, or Lonely.

 

(source)

I AM GRATEFUL FOR ...

The ability to look for and to find joy.

I AM ALSO GRATEFUL FOR ...

Gratitude. Its all this and more. I would rather live with a grateful heart than with anything else. 

IN THE KITCHEN ...

BBQ Beef Croissant Pie. Quick, easy and incredibly delicious.

ON MY "TO COOK" LIST ...

 

(source)

This looks and sounds delicious.

THIS I BELIEVE ...

We may only be one, but we do have the power to change the world and to make a difference.

 

(source)

SOMETHING THAT IS NICE ...

Keeping our local businesses in business.

 

(source)

SOMETHING ELSE THAT IS NICE ...

Warm slippers  . . . these are cute.

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO ...

Moving on  . . . 

I AM WANTING TO CREATE ...

 

(source)

Egg carton Christmas Bells  . . .

 

(source)

Orange and clove pomanders  . . . 

 

(source)

Paper Candles  . . . 

 

(source)

Christmas vignettes  . . . 

 

(source)

Candy cane candle holders  . . . 

SOMETHING I ENJOY ...

 

(source)

Nuts  . . . 

SOMETHING ELSE I ENJOY ...

 

(source)

Mail  . . . 

I AM READING ...

THE COMMONER, by John Burnham Swartz.  

I have always been fascinated by Oriental Culture, and this book is the story of how, the first commoner to marry into the Japanese imperial family was, at the age of 24, exposed to brutal public scrutiny and the unyielding rigors of royal life, robbing her of her identity and sending her into a crushing depression.

With a quiet layering of details, “The Commoner” follows Haruko Endo from her childhood through a heady courtship by the crown prince. When she marries him, Haruko begins a life of miserable isolation in which not even her children are truly her own. In the book’s final quarter Haruko sees her life reflected in the suffering of her daughter-in-law, Keiko (modeled on the real-life Crown Princess Masako), also a commoner who marries into the royal family.

This is compelling reading and a book I have read several times and am reading and enjoying it again for about the third time. I just love it. 

THINGS THAT CATCH MY FANCY ...

 

(source)

Sheep . . . 

 

(source)

Pretty doors  . . . 

 

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Wood cupboards  . . . 

 

(source)

Warm sweaters  . . . 

 

(source)

Fairy lights  . . . 

MAKES ME SMILE ...

And so true  . . . 

SOMETHING TO WATCH ...

Where The Mask Ends  . . .  Netflix.

A THOUGHT TO CARRY WITH YOU ...

☾ ° ★° * 。  

• ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★

*The will of God will not take us

where the Grace of God will not sustain us.

~Billy Graham 

And that is my daybook for this week!  Thanks always for being here!

  ⋱ ⋮ ⋰

⋯ ◯ ⋯ Take time to enjoy the small *´¯`.¸¸.☆

  ⋰ ⋮ ⋱ blessings in life.*´¯`.¸¸.☆ 

✿¸.•*¨`*•..✿✿¸.•*¨`*•..✿ ✿¸.•*¨`*•..¸✿ ✿¸.•*¨`*•..¸✿ ✿¸.•*¨`*•. ╬♥═╬╬═♥=╬╬═♥╬╬═♥╬╬═♥=╬╬♥═╬♥╬╬═♥╬╬═♥=╬╬♥╬

░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░ 

Have a beautiful day!  Don't forget!  

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⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿

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And I do too!    

   

Small and Wonderful Things . . .

 

"The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside from a generous hand. But who gets excited by a mere penny? It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won't stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted with pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. What you see is what you get." ~Anne Dillard 

 A few of the small and wonderful things which bring untold joy into my life. It's the small things in life which truly mean the most. Simple abundance . . . it's the best. 

 

(source)

I had a lovely quiet weekend here with Eileen. We just enjoyed each other's company. We went to do a bit of grocery shopping on Saturday afternoon, we cooked some good food. Listened to some good music. Watched a great Documentary on the hymn Amazing Grace on Saturday night, had quite a few laughs, and just enjoyed the quiet company of being together. I know this is a special blessing. It means the world to me. These months I have had to spend with her over the past year. I cherish each one of them and the memories we have built together. In another week or so she will return to her apartment permanently and so begins the rest of her life and mine, but we will always be grateful for the time we've had to spend together.

 

(source)

There was no church this past weekend as it was Stake Conference, which I watched online via Zoom. You can't get any of the music for some reason, but you do get the talks and as always they were wonderful. I wish they also provided printable copies of the talks as I usually have a hard time remembering what was said. But I do remember that they were inspiring and that I enjoyed them.  Being fed spiritually, in any way shape or form is always a good thing.

 

(source)

So I told that 56 year old about Todd and I don't think he took it very well. I was disappointed, but not disappointed, and really wasn't surprised. It's hard to explain. Anyways, I didn't hear from him all weekend, and that was okay. I thought to myself, the true colours are coming out.  Then he woke me up at 1:30 this morning with a text saying he was thinking about me. I ignored it, and have not responded. I think I'm worth more than that. And to be honest, I am grateful that I have come to the realization that I am worth more than that which I have been given.  I will never settle again. I realize that means I will in all likelihood spend the rest of my life alone. That is not what I had ever hoped for, but it just is what it is.  I need to be okay with that and I will be.  

 

(source)

After a rainy, wet weekend, the sun is shining this morning, amidst a lot of cloud. I love it this time of year when the sun shines. Eileen has gone out to Bridgewater for a People's First get-together and will be gone all day. I don't expect her back home until this evening. I will keep her supper for her to heat up when she gets in. I was a bit nervous about her going. It is a really long time for her to be out there, but I just have to trust that she will be okay. In another week, she will be back home anyways, and I won't be able to keep an eye on her then.

She started a new diamond art and it's really cute. This one is a Grinch one for Christmas.  She is getting really excited about Christmas and us spending it together.  I am looking forward to it as well. Its  nice to have something like that to look forward to.

 

(source)

This made me think of Nutmeg and how he likes to snuggle up to my Hello Kitties on my bed. Its so sweet. Those two furry bandits of mine sure make life more interesting. I love them very much.

 

(source)

We have started the book of Daniel in our Come Follow Me Studies this year. We are winding down the Old Testament. I love the book of Daniel. All told, I have always found a lot of the Old Testament difficult to study. Each time I study it however, I do glean new understanding. I am really looking forward to studying the New Testament next year.

 

(source)

"Remember, everyone has weaknesses,

and there are two sides to every story.

If you err in judgement, be sure

you err on the side of love and mercy.

~Joseph Fielding Smith 

I came across this quote this morning. Its so true. How much kinder the world would be if we just decided to give others the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean that we have to agree with everything that happens, but there are right and wrong ways of approaching things. If you choose kindness, then I think that is the higher road.

I don't really have a lot else to say this morning. It's been a bit broken up with having to get Eileen ready to go out, etc. so I am going to close this now with a thought to carry with you . . . 

☾ ° ★° * 。  

• ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★

*I seemed to hold two lives,

life of thought and that of  reality.

~Charlotte Bronte 

In The English Kitchen today . . .  Bostock. A delicious copycat French pastry dream! Buttery Brioche, luscious almond cream, crunchy toasted almonds and a perfectly golden finish. Quick. Easy. Delicious.

I hope you have a beautiful day. Be happy. Don't forget!

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⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿

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And I do too!    

   

All Things Nice . . .

 

(source)

I hope that I shall never get

So old, that pinks or mignonette

Will fail to stir within my veins

Some answering call -- or April rains

Washing down azure skies will bring

No quickening rapture of the spring.

I hope that I shall never see

Pale blossoms bursting on a tree

With jaded eyes . . . or fail to catch

My breath in wonder at a hatch

of chickens with small pointed bills

Yellow as April daffodils.

And little fir trees lifting up

Pale hands towards the sky's blue cup,

And old folks with their dim old eyes

Looking toward sunset skies,

Life's loveliness . . . work . . . laughter . . . tears,

Giving me beauty through the years.

~Edna Jacques, I Hope

Aunt Hattie's Place, 1941

 

Oh how grateful I am that I can still find a place in my heart to enjoy small pleasures such as these. I have always been one who sees. One who explores and sees the small things that many others might overlook. Finding wonder and . . . yes, even God . . .  in even the smallest details around me. I can't help it. That's just who I am, and who I've always been. Even in the face of mine enemies, or intense struggles, I am one who sees, and who appreciates the smallest of things. I hope that I never change.

 

(source)

This picture reminds me so much of the many nights I spent laying on the sofa watching the flames flicker of the fire burning in our woodstove.  I could lay there for hours after the children went to bed, just watching the flames doing their dance, listening to the snapping and the crackle of the logs and sometimes the rush of wind in the chimney . . . such comforting sounds, those things . . . 

I know that many don't like a wood fire  . . .  because of the mess, but I never minded the mess. It was always worth it to me.  The warmth, the sight, the smell, the sounds  . . . 

I always kept a saucepan of water on top to help to send some moisture into the air.  Often I would slip a cinnamon stick, some star anise, an orange peel or two and maybe some cloves into it, which would also send a beautiful fragrance out. Home. It smelled like home to me. Or at the very least like I had something really special in the oven, even if I really didn't. 

 

(source)

At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.

Isaiah 60:22 (NLT)

Sometimes it can be really hard to keep the faith. Especially in the waiting. I don't know about you, but I love scriptures like these that I stumble upon. They remind me that God can and will do anything for anyone, at any time, even when it seems impossible. What's meant for you will never miss you. 

There is a need to trust in God's timing, especially when things aren't happening as quickly as we want them to, if at all. God sees the things we cannot see, and knows what we need even more than we do.  Often it is only in retrospect that we can see that His hands were at work in our lives, putting things into place when, where, and however it was that we needed most.

I need to remind myself of this often. Especially when I start to feel down on myself. On those days when I look in the mirror and only see someone that I don't think that anyone could ever want, or love. When I feel the pangs of loneliness or of missing. Of wanting to belong . . . of always being the second choice, or nobody's choice at all.

Trusting in His timing, that is often the hardest, most difficult thing to do, but  . . .  I have seen the tender mercies of the Lord in my life, over and over again. And on those difficult days, it is those tender mercies that I need to cling to.  I, the Lord, will make it happen.  A sweet reminder of a God who knows our beginnings from our ends and who wants only goodness for us in our lives.  

 

(source)

In the beginning I was so young and such a 

stranger to myself I hardly existed. I had to 

go out into the world and see it and hear it

and react to it. before I knew at all who I was,

what I was, and what I wanted to be.

~Mary Oliver

I love the honesty in these words. So often we think we should have ourselves figured out by now, but perhaps life was never meant to work that way. Perhaps the point it not to know exactly who we are from the start, but to become ourselves little by little through living.

Every person we meet, every place we go, every joy, disappointment, success, and sorrow leaves its mark upon us. We are shaped by what we notice, by what we love, by what we cannot forget.

Looking back, I can see that so much of life has been a process of introduction. Not just to the world around me, but to myself. And perhaps, that journey of discovery never truly ends.

We don't arrive in the world knowing who we are. We discover ourselves gradually through experience, through mistakes, through heartbreaks and joys, through paying attention to what moves us and what leaves us unchanged. Perhaps that knowledge comes slowly, shaped by the people we live, the losses we endure, the roads we choose to take, and even the roads we leave unexplored.

When I look back across the years, I can see how true it has been in my own life. The young woman I once was could never have imagined the person I would become. There were so many things I had yet to learn, so many joys waiting for me, and sorrows to. There were lessons that could only be learned by living through them. Each experience revealed another small piece of myself. And even now, I am still discovering who I am. Still growing. Still learning.

There is something comforting in that realization. We do not have to have all the answers. We only have to remain open to the journey.

 

(source)

All great and precious things are lonely.

~John Steinbeck

I've been thinking about this quote all week. I never thought I was lonely, but in recent days I have come to realize that I am.  I sit in a space I never thought I would ever find myself sitting in, and with each day that passes I am coming to accept that this is probably where I will stay, but I have also come to learn as I thought about these things that  . . . 

Some of the most precious things in life are experienced in solitude. A quiet morning before the world around you wakes up. A walk with only your thoughts for company. A book that speaks directly to your heart. A prayer whispered into the silence of your room late at night. The moments we sit with our memories, our hopes and our dreams.

There have been season in my life when loneliness felt like something to be endured. I have felt lonely in a crowd, in a family . . .  As I've gotten older, I've come to understand that solitude and loneliness are not always the same thing. Sometimes being alone is where we discover our strength, our faith, our creativity, and our deepest selves.

The things that matter most often grow in stillness. Gratitude. Wisdom. Peace. Contentment. They ask nothing of us except that we slow down long enough to notice them.

Perhaps that is what Steinbeck meant. Not that all precious things are sad or isolated, but that they are often found in those quiet spaces where we can finally hear our own hearts.

This was six years ago today. In some ways it feels like just yesterday, but six years is six years and somehow the time has passed. When I think back to how I was feeling then and how I am feeling now, there is a world of difference, and yet, the sadness that I carried then is still there, perhaps in a smaller measure, but its still there. I think that it always will be.  I have discovered, however, that I have so much to be happy about and so many more blessings resting in my life now than I can really count. Blessings that I could not have imagined when I arrived in that lonely motel room on that cold, cold night as I stepped into an unknown future, with nothing but faith and hope, and a few people who cared enough about me to make me feel welcome and loved. 

And that is all I have to share this morning. On this cold and damp November day.  Eileen is still sleeping, I overslept myself. I feel the day impressing upon me that I really need to start moving and doing some of the things that I need to get done, so I will leave you now with a thought to carry with you . . . 

☾ ° ★° * 。

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★

 *.˛.All that you give to others
You are giving to yourself.
~Anthony De Mello 

In The English Kitchen today  . . .  Old Fashioned Date & Walnut Pudding.  A recipe that I chose to update with new photographs and some new writing. Eileen is really enjoying this. I think I made this back in 2011, I think from a recipe I found in Good Food Magazine, or something like that. It was good then, and it is very good now.  I hope some of you will want to try it.

I hope you have a beautiful weekend filled with all the things that you love most and that bring you true joy. Whatever you get up to, don't forget! 

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And I do too!