Never ever . . .

  

I never ever thought that this was a post I would have to write, but here I am.  These past couple of years have been a real struggle for me in a great many ways.  First losing my mother and not being able to be there with my family to say a proper farewell. The loss of my much beloved nephew and nephew in law.  The Covid virus, etc.  On top of that there has been some deeply personal things which I have had to come to terms with regarding my relationship with my husband. 

Nobody ever gets married with the idea in mind that it isn't going to last forever. Over these last twenty years I have loved my husband and our life together with every fibre of my being.  He has been the centre of my world and we have had many, many happy times.  It hasn't been totally perfect, but what relationship is. I always felt like it was perfect for me. 

Over the past couple of years however certain things have happened that I have not and am not really able to talk about and discuss.  Over these last two months, especially, it has become very clear to me that we have reached the end of our road together.  This has been a very painful and heartbreaking time for each of us, and it has been a very difficult and heart-breaking decision to come to.

To that end I am making arrangements to move back to Canada to be with my family as soon as it is safe for me to do so, hopefully more sooner than later. Of course everything is somewhat complicated due to the virus, financially, etc. but it is best for the both of us that it is done as quickly as possible.

I love my husband very much and I will always mourn for what we had and what could have been. I am sure he feels the same.  I don't know what else to say, except to ask if you would keep each of us in your prayers and wishes for a brighter, safer, happier tomorrow. 

I will keep you posted as I make this very difficult journey. Please know that I know that our Heavenly Father loves each of us, no matter what.  He wants the best for each of us. There is nothing, no pain, nor sorrow . . .  nothing that He does not feel along with us. He is there to help us every step of the way as we traverse this difficult journey we take here in this lifetime. I have a great confidence in that, and I know that He has good things in store for each of us. 

I would like to close with a quote from Jeffrey R Holland's talk in this last General Conference. "Waiting on the Lord." I highly recommend it.

"Faith means trusting God in good times and bad, even if that includes some suffering until we see His arm revealed in our behalf."

Love always,

 

PS - I have not announced this on facebook and will not until closer to the time I am ready to leave.