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For we are more than just the thing we seem,
More than a little waking and a dream;
This life that seems so commonplace to me
Is woven into all eternity!
The little happenings that make a day
Are born of God and shall not pass away.
The fire when laid . . the supper-table spread,
Even the simple breaking of the bread,
Are symbols of diviner things that lie
Close to our inner selves and will not die --
The roots of life beneath the commonplace
Weaving their tendrils through the human race.
As long as life goes on . . there will be these:
Warm clodded earth, and blossom-laden trees,
East winds and rain . . and flocks upon a hill,
The fresh, sweet wonder if the daffodil;
And over all . . and under all . . and trough,
The mind of God made manifest in you.
~Edna Jacques, Inner life
My Kitchen Window, 1935
I am a lover of words. I love writing words. I love reading words, strung together, weaving pictures in my mind. Telling stories. I read these words this morning, written so long ago by a person I don't really know, before my lifetime, and yet they still have application for today . . . still have meaning . . . still speak to my soul. That is the power of words.
They can speak down through days and months and years and decades and centuries. Think of the words of Shakespeare which still dwell in our hearts, hundreds of years later, or the words of men with dust laden feet, spoken two thousand years ago, and written down . . . that still touch our souls in positive ways.
Words become thoughts. Thoughts become deeds. Words have power. To make or to break . . . use them wisely.
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I called about my heat pump again yesterday and I held the phone up to the pump. It sounded like a rock tumbler. One of the maintenance guys came over and said that they had called the electrician and he had actually called them back and was going to try to come over in the afternoon. Then the other maintenance guy came over in early afternoon, and he called the electrician from my place and held his phone up to the heat pump after he had turned it on and let him have a listen. The electrician said it needed some new part and that he would order one, so that is where it stands at the moment. The maintenance guy said it could be a week, it could be several weeks, but in any case, he said . . . the weather should start warming up soon, and that a heat pump wasn't meant to be the major source of heating.
DUH
That's very helpful mate. So I guess it will be fixed when it is fixed and in the meantime I will just have to use the electric heat. It could always be worse. I could have no heat at all. Something is better than nothing. At least I am bordered on two sides by other properties which serve as somewhat of a buffer against the cold. But I do find it cold in here. I have the room temperature set at 20 but it doesn't feel very warm at all.
But I really only feel cold when I think about it. If I distract myself with other things I forget about it being cold.
Sometimes you just have to laugh. I decided to bake my weekly loaf of bread yesterday. I settled on a Brown Sugar Oatmeal Bread. I fancied baked beans for my supper and I thought it would go well, and I like toast and so I thought it would make great toast. Four hours later I had this. I did everything right. I did not leave anything out.
This was the photograph of what it should have looked like in the book. Not even close. I am wondering if I should try it again? Or should I move onto another loaf that I know for sure will turn out? I hate to be defeated, lol.
Sometimes you just have to laugh.
Reality check. I am not organized. Mine would not be cute. But I do enjoy watching the videos.
Something else I have been enjoying on YouTube this week is Sage Lilleyman. She is this young Australian woman who likes living in the past in her real life. (the 40's and 50's) I find this kind of thing fascinating and am very drawn to it. When I was a child I wanted to be June Cleaver or Margaret Anderson. Sage does videos on decorating, cooking, lifestyle, etc.
I was too busy bringing up children when I was young enough to have the energy to do things like this and now I am too old. So I just enjoy watching others do it. It is a very romanticized view of it all, however. My mother was a housewife in the 1950's and her life was anything but glamorous and carefree. She worked really, really hard.
Half of yesterday was spent doing my work and watching the plow-men dig us out from the storm of the night before. This was the most snow we have seen thus far this season. I reckon at the very least we got 8 or 9 inches of it. They brought out the snow blower for this one and then a guy came around and shoveled off our porches. I am so grateful to have a home where this type of thing is done for me so that I don't have to worry about how I am going to get it done. This place was meant to be for me and a real blessing in my life.
Something else I have watched this week. Daisy Jones and the Six. It is a series on Prime. So far I am enjoying it. The music is pretty much from when I was a teenager. I remember garage bands. There were a few on the base where we lived. Teenage boys who liked to play guitar, etc. and who would get together and practice in their parent's garage on Saturdays, etc. I even briefly dated a fella who played guitar in one and got to go to their practices. His name was Chris Paul. Turned out he was seeing another girl at the same time. So that was a very brief relationship!
I remember he wore one of those fake suede fringed jackets. He took me to a movie one Friday night and I remember looking up at him in the light from the projector and seeing all this peach fuzz on his face. What a crush I had on him.
I don't think I have ever had good taste in the male species, and I don't mean looks-wise. I mean I have always been attracted to and found myself with men that were not that nice to me to say the least.
My dad was asking me yesterday didn't I want to be with someone. My answer was a resounding "NO!" First of all I am not that attractive that I would have much of a choice. Men my own age don't want women my own age. They want much younger women. I would, at best, only be able to find someone who was much older than myself and who needed taking care of. I have been taking care of other people since I was 13. I am not doing that anymore. That ship has sailed. Now I am taking care of me.
And I am quite content to do so. I am not lonely or bored in the least.
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I am supposed to go out to lunch today with a few people at The Green Elephant in Kingston. Its a very eclectic eatery. Think health food/vegan/quirky, etc. My dad always goes there for breakfast on Sunday mornings. Their food is not too bad. I think on Saturdays and Sundays they offer a breakfast menu only for the full day and then at 3 pm they start serving Korean food. Now THAT would have been interesting. I quite like Korean food. I have been to The Green Elephant a few times with my father for breakfast. I thought the French Toast and Pancakes that I saw being delivered to the other tables looked very nice, so maybe I will have something like that. I don't really fancy bacon and eggs, etc.
They have some really nice sounding sandwiches and salads on the menu, but not on Saturdays. Pity that!
It will be nice to get together with some friends however. I will enjoy that. I don't get out enough.
I wish I could be more like this. I find that all too often I find myself thinking about things that I have no power to change. This usually happens as I am getting ready for bed at night. I will start thinking about the children or whatever. My mind is not distracted by other things I guess. Lately I have been thinking about having my will done, which is something which I really need to do and soon. The sudden death of a friend this past week has really brought that home to me. I have five children, only three of which I have a relationship with, and out of those, the relationship with one of them is a bit tenuous at the moment. I don't have a lot to leave behind and I want to be fair. There is a huge part of me that says the heck with the ones who don't deserve to be remembered in my will, but then there is another part of me that says I love them all equally and do I want my legacy to be one in which I favor two over the remaining three??? I don't want that. I always want to be fair. I am probably spending my time worrying and pondering things that in reality won't matter one whit to the three.
But am I that person? No, I am not. I love all my children, regardless of their feelings for me, and so I will divide things up equally. Not that there is much to divide.
But I do wish that I could free my mind from the hurt feelings. I would be lying if I said that the way the three feel about me did not bother me. It does. Deeply. There is nothing I can do about any of it. I have thought and thought and thought about it. I am powerless over it all.
I keep putting it into God's hands. That's all I can do really. What will be will be. He knows best.
I know that my presence here in Nova Scotia makes things difficult for them with their step mom. She hates me for some reason and has all the power. From the time my ex started dating her, he was not even allowed to talk to me. She is very insecure. There are people I have to spend time with in secret because if she knew that they saw me, she would make it very difficult for them to see and spend time with my ex. Perhaps that is the reason they have cut me out. It is probably a much easier for them to navigate their lives without me being in them. The two that I do have a good relationship with live much further away. It is much easier for them.
Can you believe that it has been three whole years since the specter of Covid entered our lives? Do you remember how carefree life was before Covid? Life has gone through so many changes since then. I can remember hearing about this virus on the news on the television. I remember having an appointment in Chester with the chiropractor and we stopped on our way back to the bus stop to get a drink and a cake in a café. I remember feeling very afraid and germophobic. That was the last time I actually went out and about. Within a few days everything had been shut down, and we were masking and sanitizing.
Those are called life-defining moments. Moments in time that change your life in such a way as you know it will never be the same again.
I would never have, could never have, dreamed that 9 months later I would be stepping on an airplane and making my way back to Canada under the circumstances I had to do so. I think back on that now and wonder at my bravery. To travel halfway around the world in the middle of a pandemic with nothing but two suitcases, stepping into an unknown future.
Oh boy, am I ever blessed and loved. And I know it.
And with that I best get on with my day so I will leave you with a thought to carry on . . .
.° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
*.˛.° ˛°. .
˛*Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness --
happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in
sometimes when you're lucky. Joy is the light that
fills you with hope and faith and love.
~Adele Rogers St. Johns•。★★ 。* 。
This is where I am at. Joy. I have found Joy in my life. Life is not perfect, but it is filled with Joy.
In The English Kitchen today . . . Irish Soda Bread Muffins. So delicious!
I hope you have a beautiful weekend filled with hope, love and joy! Be blessed and whatever you do don't forget!
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