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It rained tonight, a warm fine summer rain
Making long streaks across my window pane,
And in the dark I hear the rustling leaves,
The water running in the wooden eaves.
I smell the fragrant earth all dripping wet;
Saw the drops shine like glistening pools of sweat.
I almost thought that I could hear the sound
Of tiny thankful roots below the ground.
The eager drinking up of leaf and stem
As warm moisture drifted down to them.
The drenched sweet flowers folded dim and tight,
Giving their sweet fragrance to the night.
And even in my sleep I seemed to feel
The quiet power of rain to bless and heal,
The peace of Nature working out her plan
Setting at naught the hurried ways of man.
For growth is slow, yet to my heart it brings
The mystery of all created things.
~Edna Jaques, Rain . . . at Night
Beside Still Waters, 1939
I loved the words in this poem. It is like the poet got right inside my head . . . and the way my brain works. I often have thoughts just like this. I always have done, even since I was a child. Perhaps I was a bit of a peculiar child??? In tune with the world around me, with nature. I believed in fairy lands and small worlds hidden within our larger world.
I saw beauty in everything around me. I noticed the smallest of things in minute detail, tucking them into myself like small treasures, and tying them up with heart strings. That way I could take them out later, any time I wanted to . . . and enjoy them all over again.
Even now, years and years later, I am enjoying the pleasure of finding a wild lady slipper in the woods amidst the moss, leaves and grass . . . a robin's nest hugging small blue jewels, nestled in between the branches of a small birch tree . . . scooter bugs, skittering across the glossy surface of a pond created from the melting winter snows in the back yard . . . the sun light glinting off the water like sparkling diamonds . . . sitting in church next to my father and looking at my hands illuminated by the glow of the church windows . . .
Treasures of the heart . . .
A small part of me likes to think that some day maybe this could be . . . but a larger part of me is afraid to entertain such thoughts. I tell myself, I am too old and set in my ways to be able to really enjoy such a thing, and to be honest, I don't really have a great track record in that area. I wish that I did. But what is love really.
The Greeks have six words to define it.
Eros which is the passionate love of sex and desire. A dangerous, fiery and irrational kind of love that is all consuming.
Philia, or deep friendship . . . the comradely friendship developed between people who share a special kinship or experience which draws them close together in a bond of fealty and loyalty. This is perhaps even more valuable than the first and is especially valuable when combined with the first . . . for eros is liable to burn itself out if not bound together with strong ties of philia.
Ludus, or playful love . . . the flirting and teasing in the early stages or Eros, or the witty banter and laughter between good friends as they gather together. Who does not enjoy a friendly bit of Ludus now and then . . .
Agape, love for everyone. What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. True in the 60's, true now. This is the love extended to all . . . familiar or stranger . . . friend or foe, with no thought of recompense. Empathy for others. The highest form of love.
Pragma . . . longstanding love. Love in the giving more than in the receiving. No matter how. No matter who. No matter when or why or what. This is the love of mother for child. The mature, realistic love between partners in life. The love we all wish for more than any other kind I think . . .
Philautia . . . the love of self. When it extends to narcissism, it is not a very good thing, but it has been said that you need to love yourself in order to be able to love others. If this is a healthy kind of a love, such as in liking and feeling secure within yourself, it will naturally grow and extend to include others.
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Who doesn't want a bit of sparkle in their lives. I believe there is a bit of sparkle we can inject easily into each day of our lives. Its what I try to do anyways. Yesterday was a bit of a difficult day emotionally, but there were many, many pockets of joy and they all started right in my front yard.
I had parked my car in the garage overnight because it was supposedly fixed. Thank goodness I was able to get it out because I really was taking a chance!!! (Point proven in not being able to open it when I got home. Duh.) Sheila bounced off her porch to the car, and I pulled down the window so we could greet each other properly. She is always ready with a smile and a kind word shared between two good people.
I went to my sister's to pick her up. She has made some beautiful cloth bags. Her workmanship is immaculate. I really need to take some photos of them. So far she is still testing negative, (after having been exposed at work earlier in the week to Covid), but we took no chances and masked in the car all the way to the hospital and back again. She did not go in. I am sure it was as difficult for her to pass away all those hours of time, as it was for me. But she did it because she loves me. I am so appreciative of that.
The workers in the hospital were extremely kind and caring, pleasant . . . helping to make a difficult situation and experience a bit better than it could have been. I was grateful for that. They made sure I was comfortable and at ease. Now all I have to do is wait. I was a bit flummoxed that they were testing the breast opposite to the one that I thought I had the problem in. I hope that they were not mistaken, although I did ask them several times and they were certain they had the right one.
On the way home my sister and I decided it was so late in the day, and neither of us had eaten, so we stopped at Jonny's for a sneaky Newf Poutine. It was a bright sunny day, and although we were distanced across the picnic table as we ate, we were tied together with obvious heart strings. Nice. Nice.
We went to a farmer's market on the way home. One which is a bit further up the valley than the one we have locally. They had tons of pumpkins and squashes for sale already. We could not resist. I picked up a small butternut squash, a dumpling squash and two ears of corn.
A difficult day, made pleasant, and a great deal of that was because of the company I had. And it didn't stop there.
My cats were especially loving and attentive last night. Animals know. Lately Nutmeg has taken to giving me a bath along with himself. It is just a few licks and they are almost painful because of his tongue barbs, but I accept them for the gift that they are.
I had a nice conversation with my son in the evening and a friend called to say hello, which was nice. Generally we only text, but yesterday it was a voice call. And I slept the sleep of a baby last night. I didn't wake up until 6:30 this morning. I feel like I can face just about anything now.
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I have been reading about Mercy in the book I am reading, She Reads Truth, by Rachel Myers and Amanda Bible Williams.
From the Psalms . . .
I give you thanks, O Lord with my whole heart;
On the day I called you, you answered me;
my strength of soul you increased.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies,
and your right hand delivers me.
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever,
Do not forsake the work of your hands.
Not my will oh Lord, but yours. I am not the first to question why. Joy and peace come in the act of leaning into the will of the Lord and knowing that he has a plan. What will be will be, and no matter what . . . His tender mercies will encompass me round about.
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It is a brilliant sunny day out there this morning. There is not a cloud in the sky. Its not too hot, nor is it too cold. Mister McGregor's sunflower heads are dancing in a light breeze. They are bringing the sweet scent of joy to the whole neighborhood.
I am not sure what today will bring to my table, but I know I have the capacity to turn whatever it is into a joy of some sort. I have a pot of blueberries I am planning on doing something with and I have plans to start a hot water bottle cover which I am sure will come in very handy in the months to come. Is there anything on earth more comforting than a nice hot water bottle under the covers? I think not! I plan on making it bright, bright, BRIGHT!
And with that I will leave you with a thought for the day . . .
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˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★
*In youth we learn,
in age we understand.
~Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
•。★★ 。* 。•。★★ 。* 。
In The English Kitchen today . . . Thin & Crispy Oatmeal Cookies. Oh my goodness. These are some good!
I hope you have a beautiful Saturday. Whatever you get up to this long weekend, lean into the joy and don't forget!
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And I do too!
You got through that difficult day, but waiting is so much more difficult. Enjoy the weekend, despite the wait.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right about the waiting Linda. I am not a very patient person, but I guess I have to be! xoxo
DeleteSending all best wishes that all turns out ok for you, Marie!! Life seems to be more scary as we age, for sure!!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth xoxo
Thanks so much Elizabeth. Yes, getting old is not for sissies for sure! xoxo
DeleteThere is truly so much to be thankful for !
ReplyDeleteThis is very true Pam! xoxo
DeleteSo many treasures of the heart, Marie. I'm happy people were so kind and understanding yesterday. It's very hard to wait for news. Did they say when you could expect to hear anything? Love and hugs, Elaine
ReplyDeleteI have to wait two weeks and then I have to try to get into the ER, or try to get an appointment at the Primary Care Clinic (which can take two weeks) because they will not send the results to me. So I have an appointment on the 5th of October anyways, I might just wait for that one to find out. Love and hugs, xoxo
DeleteThat is a long time to wait and worry Marie. Keep busy.
DeleteThinking of you 💜x
ReplyDeleteThanks very much Debs! xoxo
DeleteSending good wishes to you for a sweet and joy filled weekend.
ReplyDeleteAnd also, a warm hug. xo, V.
Thanks very much V! The same from me to you! xoxo
DeletePS...LOVE that poster about one day Love returning to us...gotta hang onto that thought!!
ReplyDeleteLove, Elizabeth xoxo
Yes, we do Elizabeth! Yes, we do! Love, xoxo
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