Saturday 27 February 2021

Thoughts on comformity . . .


“Conformity is one of 
the most fundamental dishonesties of all. 
When we reject our specialness, 
water down our God-given 
individuality and uniqueness, 
we begin to lose our freedom. 
The conformist is in no way a free man. 
He has to follow the herd.” 
~Norman Vincent Peale  
 
It seems I’ve always walked a few steps out of beat with those around me. I’ve always kind of felt like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole. I guess some might think me a bit odd. I am quiet and shy, yes, really.  And I am very reflective. I think alot. I have always been a thinker.  

It was that shyness and the fact I was quiet and reflecive, a deep thinker that made me a target when I was in my younger years in school. I was okay for the first few years, but about the age of 10, that all changed. for some reason I became less confident and assured and that made me a magnet for any person around me who might have been feeling less than confident themselves.  Oh, but I was teased and tormented mercilessly. Called names, made fun of, etc.  

In short bullied.  
 

 

I am so grateful that we did not have social media back then or I might not be here today. At least when I was at home I was somewhat safe from their barbs and arrows, their torments.  I don't know how children who are being bullied today cope with it. They have no place that they can go to get away from it. 

It was particularly bad in grades 8 and 9.  So much so that I was actually ill from it.  Literally physically ill. I can remember being off from school for a full two weeks one time because of it. There was no cable tv to occupy me at home either, and my teachers sent my school work home for me to do. 

For some reason the kids at school decided I must be a lesbian because I didn't date boys. I wasn't allowed to date until I was sixteen, and so I didn't. I had really strict parents who expected me to follow their rules and I followed them. 

I had no friends because girls were afraid to hang around with me for fear they would be painted with the same brush.

It was a very lonely and hurtful, excruciatingly painful, couple of years.  I can totally understand the heartache of teens who find themselves feeling different and confused isolated, etc. I wish I could convince all who are going through it that this will not be their forever life.
 
All those things I went through, however, helped to make me a much more compassionate person. So it was not all bad. I would never treat anyone in the way I was treated. It was despicable to be honest.



We moved before the advent of Grade 10 and I used that  move somewhat to re-invent myself, although I would carry the slings and arrows, the pinpricks and wounds of those few years . . .  for the rest of my life. I carry them still. The main difference is that now I use them to strengthen me rather than to tear me down.
 
 I am a special individual, unique in all ways, and I love who I am and who I’ve allowed myself to become. I still walk a few beats out of step from everyone else, but I am quite proud that I do. I love that I stand out in a crowd. I’m still a bit of an odd duck, but I love my oddness. It works for me. 
 
I have come to recognize my God-given talents and embrace them, explore them, use them . . . I relish every opportunity which comes my way to share them with others and to help them in some way if I can. Isn't that why we are given  them?  



 I tend to look at my life like a huge piece of embroidery that I have been working on for years, quite different than anyone else’s, but every bit as beautiful and even more so in some ways for it’s individuality. I have stitches here and stitches there, it’s randomness creating something quite wonderful and unique and special, this tapestry of my life. 
 
I suppose when it’s finally finished I will be able to look back and count all the stitches and be quite proud of my accomplishment, but in the meantime I’m just enjoying creating it, in my own unique and beautiful way. 
 

 

Good news on the apartment front.  That place is mine.  I just have to wait for the family of the previous owner to vacate it. Apparently she died and her stuff is all still in there. Because of Covid they have not been able to travel down to remove it. They are still paying the rent so for now it is still theirs.  But once it is vacated it will be mine. I have told him I do not care how long it takes (although obviously I am hoping it won't be too long) I am willing to wait. It is in a prime location and exactly what I need. Thank you so much for your happy thoughts. 

Were you lucky enough to see the full moon last night? Wasn't it beautiful? I wish I had taken a photograph of it. The snow moon. 
 
Speaking of snow  . . . 
 

My Island boys had a snow day.  Josh used it to bake and he is quite a little baker.  He baked 5 loaves of bread and two dozen rolls, plus lemon buns and they all looked great! My ex always baked beautiful bread. He must be following in his grandpa's footsteps!

I best leave you now with a thought for the day . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★

 *.˛
. I will not let anyone
walk through my mind
with their dirty feet.
~Mahatma Ghandi•。★★ 。* 。 




In The English Kitchen today . . .  Lush Lemon Poundcake.  Lovely! 

Have a wonderful Saturday. We are going grocery shopping. I love grocery shopping.  Whatever you get up to, don't forget! 

═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ ⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ 
 

And I do too! 







 


25 comments:

  1. Marie, so happy the apartment is still yours. Josh must take after you as well. Bread making is a worthy skill to master. I'm sorry you were bullied. It must have been terrible for you. Take gentle care. Hugs and love, Elaine

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    1. Thanks Elaine. All my boys are cooks. Their dad liked to cook soups and bread. I liked to cook anything. They could not help but like cooking I guess! Love and hugs to you always! xoxo

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  2. Great news on your new home!
    And count me in as bullied..mercilessly.

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    1. They say what doesn't kills us makes us stronger, but I could have done without that bullying. You too. ((((hugs)))) They also say Karma is a ****. Here's hoping! xoxo

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  3. Good news today! Hope you are prepared and ready for your own place. Yes, never forget how special you are !

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    1. No firm date yet, but at least I know eventually I will be in my own place! Thanks! xoxo

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  4. Fantastic news for you new home. Hoping it is sooner than later and you can get all settled and make it your own. I took photos of the full moon the past couple of nights as today is cloudy with lots of wet snow and rain. Keep being a you-nique person.

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    1. Thanks Linda! I bet the photos were lovely! I should have taken one, but was too mesmerised by the sight of it. You keep being you-nique as well! xoxo

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  5. Marie, I would like to give you hugs. Bullies are so cruel and without mercy. You chose to spread your wings, like the illustration says. And soon you will spread your wings in your new apartment. Have a wonderful day.

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    1. They sure are Terra! You have a wonderful day also! xoxo

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  6. Wonderful news! So happy for you. I've always been quite the same, a round peg that doesn't quite fit into that square hole. Oh well. Im me and Im learning to love me and that is that. Much love - Raquel XO

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    1. Well, we need to love ourselves for sure Raquel! I love you! xoxo

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  7. So happy about the apartment! And so sad about the bullying you endured as a child - I too was, am, a round peg but look at us now! You are spot on about how much worse it must be now with social media. I feel for young people today.
    Josh is so talented! What a lovely child he is.
    Mary

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  8. My life was different but still a bullied person too. NOT FUN!! I cried every single day of the 4th grade because of it. Yes, teacher knew...cared less. Parents knew...nothing changed. But by the time we moved to a far away state when I was 14, what a fabulous one year of my life that year was. We moved again and it was ok, but not like my 14th year. THAT one year has helped me in so many situations since. Yes, I do not fit with the majority of people. But there was a beautiful little town (now a big place) where my life was simply perfect. Not one bad memory of that year. I am grateful. Glad your life changed at 10th grade too. Sometimes moving is indeed a good thing!! Finding kindred spirits has been helped some with the internet too.
    HUGS, Elizabeth xoxo

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    1. Bullying is horrendous. I am so sorry you had to go through that as well Eliabeth! Love and hugs, xoxo

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  9. Oh my dear friend, this was such an exceptional post because it was about you and your struggles growing up. I can see more fully why you are such a fantastic woman today. I admire you in so many ways, You are touch in good ways because of what you have suffered. I know God has a plan for you to succor and lift others around you. You have such a loving heart.
    I think Josh is adorable. He may be a baker due to your Ex, but I would say he is following in his Grandmother's foot steps.
    I am so happy you will have a home to call your own.
    Sending lot of hugs your way!

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    1. Thank you so much LeAnn! All my boys are good cooks as well! Love and hugs, xoxo

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  10. ‘Forgive others.......because you deserve peace.’ So true, not always easy.
    Oh, that Josh. :-) Happy Day to you. V

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  11. Yay Marie, you have a place to call your own soon!

    I was bullied by the same person from grade school all the way up!
    In high school my cousins went there too, so nobody dared to bully me again! Lol.
    I had 3 close friends in high school, so high school was better.

    That's terrific that Josh likes to bake, just like his Grandmother!

    Oh yuck, I smell a skunk! Well spring is definitely coming soon!
    Wow, just yesterday my daughter came over around this time, she needs to be careful now! Lol
    She was tested, so I let her in, but I cover my mouth still. I told the twins that hopefully things will get better and they can come back over soon. It's heartbreaking though!

    Stay safe, healthy and happy!



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    1. They do say that bullies bully because they are being or have been bullied. I have yet to experience that lovely odour of skunk since my return to Canada. Unmistakably blah! It is heartbreaking to have to stay apart. Hopefully it won't be for much longer. xoxo

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  12. Love that Dieter Uckdorft quote at the top of your post. So very true.
    Sad you had to experience being bullied. Children can be so cruel. You've had a lot of heartache in your life, but you seem to be able to focus on the happy parts, which I admire you for.
    I'm so impressed with your grandson's baking abilities at such a young age. Looks like he's following in your footsteps.
    Congratulations on the rental that is going to be yours. Will it be close to your sister? I have not been on blogger for a while, so am out of the loop. I think yhe last post I read a while back you were looking to buy a little house, so I've missed what happened with that.
    Wishing you many happy and blessed days ahead. (((Hugs)))

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  13. I think she didn't like me bc of jealousy. My Aunts were always buying us clothes bc they never had any kids and it helped out my parents. It was a way of giving back bc my Dad always fixed things in their house and built bookcases… My Mom would make the cakes and my Aunt Emily would decorate them. They were all close to each other and now there all in heaven, except my parents and one Aunt. Sad!
    I saw a yucky fly today so Spring is coming soon! xoxo

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    1. Jealousy is a terrible quality to have. I hate flies also! I am dreading the bug season! xoxo

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Your comments mean the world to me, and while I may not be able to address each one individually, each one is important to me and each one counts. Thanks so much!