Sunday 27 October 2019

When good things come in threes . . .



I think I'm about to hit the jackpot!  This is my lucky week for sure.  I got an e-mail this morning from my good friend Kelvin who lives in Burkino Fasa, West Africa.  Kelvin is a bank manager who is about to retire from active banking service and he has managed to squirrel away 10.5 million American dollars from the billions that corrupt African money launderers have been laundering elsewhere.  I don't know why they have to wash their money but I figure it must be pretty dirty.  In any case, today is my lucky day because Kelvin has chosen me to share it with! 

I wonder if he is friends with Musa Edward?  He is the head of the File Department of the Bank of Africa, also in Burkino Fasa, and he has decided that he wants to release funds of over 11 million American dollars to me. Apparently the real owner has passed away and he really needs me to stand in as next of kin. For a small token fee to him of course. Why quibble about a couple thousand when you have millions waiting to fall into your lap. Good things happen in threes and that makes two! 

Could it be just possible that both Musa and Kelvin are good friends with the Right Honorable Godwin Joshua??   He's a member of a group of review executives for a huge project in  . . . you guessed it . . . .  Burkino Fasa, West Africa!  He is seeking to award me a contract worth  . . .  hang onto your hats people  . . .  30% of 97.5 million American Dollars!  I'm not quite sure how much exactly that is, but it sounds like an awful lot.   

Mom was right!  Good things DO happen in threes!  



I better bake a cake, or two or three  . . .  because this is surely cause for celebration!   I wonder if Kelvin, Musa and Godwin like chocolate cake or not?  Maybe I should play it safe and bake two cakes, just in case . . . 

What am I going to do with all of that money?  My mind is blown away with the wonder of it all. I can finally do all those things I have been dreaming about for years.  I can go on a cruise, and make sure all of my grandchildren have college funds.  I can fix up my sister's house.  Heck we can ALL go on a cruise. Where do you think we should we go first?   I've always kind of fancied a Mediterranean one myself.  But a Caribbean one also sounds great, just not during hurricane season ok?  I get sea-sick.


  

I think I better get my hair done first however, before I pick up the money like.  I mean, I really want to look my best.  If I'm going to be a multi-millionaire, I need to look like one, don't you think?  While I'm at it, I might make a quick trip to the fat farm.  Rich people are skinny and I am far from that. 

That Burkino Fasa, must be a really rich African Country to have SOOO much money in their banks, that people aren't missing . . .  what is the total . . .  lets just say a LOT of dosh!  It might be considered rather greedy of me to accept all of that money when I see on the television that so many people in Africa are starving to death, surviving without clean water, or living under the strong hand of evil regimes. I wonder why THEY aren't donating all this dosh to them????

Hmmm . . . 

Maybe I need to talk this over with Krita Sharma my SEO Specialist, who's from India by the way. He's been e-mailing me every day offering me his SEO talents because he really wants to spice up my blog. He's such a nice guy. 


Isn't the world such a helpful place???  What with Kelvin, Musa, Godwin and Krita being so willing to help me out . . .  I just might share with them some of the money I make from selling my invisible time share! You know, reward generosity with generosity.  

Don't tell anyone but . . . . I don't actually have a timeshare.  That doesn't matter however because I don't really need one.  Its kind of invisible.  Nobody can see it. I'm going to sell it and a company called My Time Share Options is going to help me do it!  Remember mums the word so  Shhh . . .  if this all gets out there will be hell to pay, and they might have to give my money to someone else!

BRB my phone is ringing . . . 

  

UH OH  . . .  that was just Raj.  He works for Microsoft and apparently they've noticed I have a virus or two or three on my hard drive.  He  just needs to be able to take over my computer to remove all of the junk thats on it.  He has a dedicated specialised tech team who are just waiting to help me out. It seems it is their lucky day also!  I just need to cough up a couple of hundred dollars first.  

That does present a bit of a problem, however  . . . 

I don't exactly have a couple of hundred dollars to cough up at the moment.  Do you think Kelvin, Musa and Godwin can loan me some until their funds come through?  I mean, I should be good for it right?  What's a couple of hundred dollars in the scheme of Millions?  Its a mere drop in the bucket!  Afterall, I am going to share my timeshare earnings with them. 

I think I'll just tell Raj to call one of them.  They're such nice people and I know they would be more than willing to help. They might even have some computer virus's of their own that need clearing up!



I can't wait for Todd to get up.  He's going to be super excited about all of this!  


 




8 comments:

  1. I hate it all..LOL well done Marie!
    Telemarketers let's not forget them.. pick up the phone..quiet then ..Mme so and so?Or..is M J at home? If the Cabinet of Astrologers calls me again..I'll scream in the phone again.

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    1. I wouldn't get any e-mails at all sometimes if it weren't for all my African friends! LOL Its actually kind of despicable really when you think about it, how they try to take advantage of weak or vulnerable people. I think we fell for the Microsoft scam twice before we got smart to it. I say we, but it was really Todd. I think the elderly are especially vulnerable to it! Hope you are having a great Sunday without any spammers calling you! xoxo

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  2. I love your spin on all the schemes out there. I remember a similar scam to one of the ones you describe but it was years ago and it arrived by snail mail. They are playing on people's greed and their fear. And sadly, vulnerable people fall for it. The Canada Revenue Agency scam is a popular one here in Canada or the one where your grandson is in trouble and needs money - the list goes on. Hopefully your post will save someone from falling for one of the scams. Hugs, Elaine

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    1. It is truly sad how many people fall vulnerable to these horrible people Elaine. The elderly are especially vulnerable. We have call Guardian on our phone so we don't get the calls anymore, but my e-mail is inundated with spam and spammer scammers every morning. It takes me ages to weed them out! There are some very cagey people about. Shame on them! Love and hugs! xoxo

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  3. Well, Marie, you have given me a hearty laugh tonight. I have been avoiding calls on my cell phone because I've had a spate of interruptions that go something like this; You owe a large amount of money to the income tax department and a warrant has been issued for your arrest." Now, I am not worried for my safety but more for that of a vulnerable person answering the same call. No point in getting mad over this nonsense, better to laugh. And you helped me do just that! Have a joyful day.

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    1. Its despicable Colleen! My mom used to get those calls. She didn't even own a computer! They prey on the weak and the vulnerable and the elderly! Love and hugs, xoxo

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  4. Hi Marie~

    How exciting!!!!!! I wonder how many people fall for those wicked telemarketers, it's just a shame! The one I get, over and over again, is the one where they tell me that I owe money to the IRS, and if I don't call them, they will have me arrested...or just give them my credit card number, my SSN and they will take care of it...and I'm sure they would!

    I loved all the things you were going to do with the money though, you were going to be very generous, and I'll bet Todd was really excited! Ahhhhh, it's good to dream!

    I loved all the vintage photos today! Hope you are feeling better, you at least have your sense of humor, I love it! XOXOXO

    Hugs and Love,
    Barb

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    1. They are really despicable people Barb, and they get away with it more often than not. Its criminal! You just have to have the ability to laugh at life Barb. It beats the alternative! Love and hugs. xoxo

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