Saturday 22 May 2010

Things my mother never told me . . .

When I was a child my mother told me lots of things. Things like . . . eating carrots helped you to see in the dark, fish was brain food and, how eating raw potatoes would give me worms. There were other juicy little tidbits through the years . . . some of them quite profound and others, not so much . . .

I was thinking yesterday about all the things she didn't tell me, and that I sort of wish that she had. Things like . . . after the age of 40 you begin to find hair in all kids of obscure places and places you wish you hadn't . . . that jumping on a trampoline after a certain age can play havoc with your waterworks . . . that beauty is fleeting at best, but soul lasts forever . . .

I am sure that there are things my own daughters wish that I had told them when they were growing up, so I thought I would make a list here this morning of things that I would tell them if I had of thought of them then . . . and hope that it's not too late!

Before you marry a man . . . watch how he treats his mother. Better still watch how his father treats his mother . . . Take note. If you don't like what you see, run away as fast as you can in the opposite direction, do not hesitate. Those chickens always come home to roost and what you see is what you will get eventually . . . once the newness of love wears off.

After a certain age, hair begins to grow in all sorts of places that you never imagined that it would or even could.

Humility and kindness are two of the most attractive traits a man can have.

Fight like heck to find independance, and then, once found . . . don't be afraid to give up a little of it once you meet a man who respects and cherishes you. It will be rewarded a hundred times over . . .

Learn how to look after your car yourself . . . change tires, check the oil, check the tires, etc.

Keep a little nest egg hidden away. Money that is just for you. You never know when you may need it.

Leave the first time your partner betrays you . . . or hits you . . . or abuses you in any way. These things seldom, if ever, improve.

It's okay to borrow money to go to University. The value of a good education can never be measured and is worth every penny spent.

See the world while you are young and before you have a family. You may not ever have the opportunity again for a very long time.

It's okay to back out of something as soon as you realize that it's not going to work. Don't worry about hurt feelings, or cost, or possible embarassment. I knew before I went through with my first wedding that this wasn't going to work . . . but I didn't think I could cancel it. I didn't want to disappoint people, and my parents had spent a lot of money on it. In retrospect, backing out before I got married would have been the wisest thing to do and I know my parents would have supported my choice to do so.

Stand up for yourself. If you can't stand up for yourself, how ever can you expect anyone else to. Ignoring things never makes them go away.

As a girl, you can do and be anything that you want to be. There are no limitations . . . except for your own fears.

Sometimes, even when you do your best . . . things do not work out the way you think they are supposed to. Best laid plans of men and mice and all that . . .

Best friends fight, new loves disappoint, time passes far too quickly, you will eventually lose someone you love. So take lots of pictures, laugh whenever you can and love like you've never been hurt.

Beauty disappears quickly. You cannot rely on it. Faces wrinkle. Hair gets grey . . . chins drop and so do boobs. It is far safer and wiser to invest in your brain and your soul.

Truth is eternal and never changes.

As long as you do your best at any one thing . . . nobody can ask for anything more.

Even the one person that you think won't ever let you down . . . probably will. We are all only human after all.

You will have your heart broken many times . . . so always try to remember how it feels, and then try not to be the one who breaks hearts.

Every sixty seconds you spend being upset is a minute of happiness that you will never get back. You cannot control how others behave, but you can control how you react to their behaviour and actions.

Dandelions are flowers too.

Be strong in spirit. This strength can and will carry you through and over many of the rocks and potholes that life will throw into your path.

You are a beautiful daughter of God. He loves and cares about you. He knows you by name and has counted every hair on your head . . . that's how important you are to Him . . .

You count. You matter . . . in every possible way.

There is so much more I could say, but I can't go on forever. I am very grateful for my mom, who tried her best to bring me up in the only way she could or knew how to do . . . to be a decent, loving, caring, trustworthy and God fearing woman. A woman who's worth is far above rubies.

The Japanese and the Chinese have their own version of stir fries and they are lovely. This morning I'd like to share a stir fry with you of a different sort. This makes a delicious side dish or a light lunch on it's own. We love it!

*Italian Stir Fry*

Serves 4
Printable Recipe

This is the perfect side dish or light lunch to make when the zucchini (courgettes) are going mad in the garden and you are beginning to wonder what you are going to do with them all! Quick, easy and delicious!

2 TBS olive oil
4 medium zucchini (courgettes), washed and trimmed
1 large onion, peeled and sliced into wedges
1/2 cup of vegetable stock
2 medium tomatoes, cut into wedges
1/4 cup of fresh basil, or 1 TBS dried
2 cloves of garlic, peeled and minced
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
salt to taste
1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese

Cut the courgettes in half lengthwise and then cut each half into 1/2 inch moons.

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat until it starts to shimmer, then add the courgettes and onion. Stir fry for two to three minutes, just until it starts to brown slightly. Add the stock, reduce the heat, and then simmer for about 4 minutes, just until the stock is evaporated and the courgettes are crispy tender. Throw in the tomatoes, basil, garlic, salt and pepper. Stir gently. Heat for about one minute to allow the flavours to meld somewhat. Scoop into a heated serving bowl, sprinkle with the Parmesan and serve hot!

Fully Loaded Banana Chip Muffins is what's cooking over on The English Kitchen this morning!


  1. Marie how wise and beautiful. Thanks for sharing this. I may just show this to my Beth. She got her learner's permit this week and was mighty cross when I would not let her drive before checking under the bonnet, the lights etc. How I wish I had a nest egg when I fled and if only someone had said watch how his father treats his mother. I would not be here now but then again I would not have my three treasures.

    Have a lovely day.

  2. Every daughter should have those wise words of advice. It seems that no matter what we never seem to say enough and sometimes they just aren't open to even hearing the words. That was just a beautiful entry today. I hope your Saturday is a great one!

  3. Hi sweet Marie,

    Such a lovely post! I am so glad you shared all of this, as it helped me so much! I agree with Suze, very wise and beautiful! Bless you! I love dandelions and your photos are so lovely! The stir fry, and muffins look and sound yummy! Thank you for all you share! Love, Paula

  4. Some good thoughts here Marie. I tell my girls that the most important quality in a man is...kindness and rightousness.
    I love the last picture of the dandilions in cute. I think I'll make those banana muffins today, looks so good! :D

  5. Marie,
    Thank you for this wonderful post! Your words are so precious♥ and so true. Wisdom for any mother or daughter.

  6. Lovely and beauty post dear Marie.
    Wise too.Special for daugthers..
    My dear I dont come by days because Esperanza was sick, now is better but we have to take her other medical tests.
    I will tell you.
    I hope you and Todd are so swell, send you huggs and kisses, xoxoxoo gloria

  7. this was yet another great post. I know just what your talking about. I am now 38...and have tried out the trampoline with my kids a few years back and out it came... it was a sad sad day....... and silly hairs... I have two (oond vies)I call those pesky hairs oond Vies an old European woman... yeah...anyway..I have to pluck them out every so often from my cheek...oh it is dreadful...My hair is also changing ... a little more wiry were grays come in...My hands even look worn....and I see little crows feet and my pores are a lot more noticeable...wahhhhhhhhh!!!
    Oh well... I will be sure to share these words of wisdom wit my daughter...since no one warned me. I will be posting dandelion cookies this week...we picked dandelions from neighbors yards yesterday just to make them...Hugs..Mica

  8. Hi, Marie! Always such pearls of wisdom here--this post is wonderful! We're still on holiday, but had a moment to stop by--so glad to catch up with you. Look forward to chatting when we get back. LOVE the recipe today. :o) Hope you & Todd have a lovely weekend. LOVE YOU HEAPS!! ((BIG HUGS))

  9. Wonderful post Marie, truly wonderful. If it's ok with you I'm going to pass some of these on when I write my next post. There are many women out there, including my own daughters, who need to read some of these. blessings, marlene

  10. wow, this was an awesome post marie! every bit of it so true. so, i grew up with a dad that really didn't treat my mom the way she should've been treated. i swore i would marry different. i wasn't going to go through that. and i did(marry better). joey is the best person i've ever met! i remember seeing him with his mom and watching how sweet he was(is still) to her when we were still dating. his dad is the same-such a sweetheart. he treats his wife like a queen. so, i knew i had a keeper! such great advice to give to young women-watch how that boy treats his mama!


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