From my heart . . .

Our local church stake had it's semi annual Stake (regional) Conference this past weekend. There was a special meeting on Saturday evening for the adults and then a family one on Sunday morning. There was also a Priesthood session on Saturday afternoon.

This conference was quite special this time because one of the higher up leaders in our Church was going to be there and speaking to us, Elder Caussé, a member of the 70. I was really excited about this and even more so because I had already heard him speak in person down in Maidstone when we were living down in Kent and also at General Conference several years ago. In fact you can see an excerpt of that excellent talk he gave HERE on youtube. It is well worth the listen.



We went along on Saturday night with great expectations and we were not disappointed. What a wonderful meeting this was. There was the usual opening prayer and hymn and several testimonies from a few members, and then Elder Caussé got up to speak to us. That is where this meeting took an entirely different turn from what our meetings usually are.

He spoke to us a bit about how he feels about families, and then he opened the floor to our questions, wanting to know what, as a church, our concerns were about our families and homes. There followed a beautiful 45 minutes of questions and discussion about what should be the most important thing in each of our lives, our family and our home.



Each question was handled with loving concern by him and the other people that were with him at the front of the chapel, all leaders in various capacities in our Stake and church . . . the Stake Mission President and his wife, our Stake President, the Stake patriarch, etc.

As I sat there and listened to everyone speaking, I thought about the pain in my own life, in my own family. With this being the North American Mother's Day this past Sunday, my role as a mother in my family was very much on my mind. As you know, I am divorced and it was a very difficult divorce, and very complicated due to years of emotional and mental abuse on the part of my ex husband. The fallout from it has been very hard to work my way through . . . and indeed, whilst most of my children have managed to work their way through it and are ok . . . my youngest daughter still does not communicate with me, having chosen to believe whatever tales have been told to her by my ex husband and his now wife. She is clearly not ok, and this causes me a great deal of pain and anguish.



I have never been able to speak to her about it, because she chooses not to communicate with me, and in fact, I have never been able to even hear about what it is that is bothering her as, once again, she does not communicate with me in any way. I only know from my eldest son that she has chosen to believe the stories that have been told and that she has "issues."

Over this past year I have also had to bear the pain of my youngest son, who is very close to this particular sister, also pulling away from me, which has been very difficult and I have struggled to keep the lines of communication open with him.



I love each one of my children so very much. I know that I have made mistakes in the way I have handled things at different times, but I know also, that I have always tried to be the best mother that I knew, and know how to be. As I sat there and listened to Elder Caussé and the others answer the questions that were asked of them . . . and I felt of the beautiful spirit that was present in the room, and of the love that was there . . . a sense of peace came over me about all these things in my life that have caused me so much pain and anguish over the past 11 years.

I cannot change the past. I cannot change the stories and lies that have been told about me. If people choose not to communicate with me, that is also something that is not in my power to change. What I can do though, is by example . . . by the way I live my life and conduct myself, show to my children that I am not the person that has been portrayed to them. That I am a good and kind and loving person, and that I love them, no matter what, and always. That I am not some kind of nut case that joined a cult. That I am a responsible, intelligent person who loves God and Jesus Christ with all of my heart, and who strives to live my life by their holy standards in every way.



When I got home, I dug out my Patriarchal Blessing and read it again. In it, my Heavenly Father told me that I would be as a "Beacon . . . a light to my family" . . . and those words finally made sense to me. I need no longer struggle with the past, or try to make sense of it. I can put it to rest, with the assurance in my heart that I did the best that I knew how to do, and that I can be an example to my children of a strong and faithful woman, a woman of purpose and direction, a woman who is an example of the Saviour's love in all ways. That example will say far more than any words I could try to speak ever could. I cannot make them love or honor me. I cannot force them to communicate with me. I can only love them and do my best to keep the channels of communication open. The rest is up to them.

I feel a sense of peace about this that I have not felt in a long time.



I hope the sun shines today! We are out and about collecting catalogues again this morning. I don't mind helping Todd to do this. If I help him, it gets done in half the time and then we have more time to do other things together. I love my Todd. He truly is the love of my life and I am so very thankful to have him. I cherish every moment.

My Todd loves pork chops. I think they are one of his favourite types of meat. Sometimes it can be hard to get them just right. If you overcook them they can be dry and tasteless. This recipe today is an excellent way to cook them. They turn out fabulous every time.



*Caesar Pork Chops*
Serves 4
Printable Recipe

Easy, tasty and a real family pleaser. I like to serve this with mashed sweet potatoes and a green vegetable. Delicious and moist, everyone loves these!

1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp garlic Italian seasoning
1/2 cup creamy Caesar Salad Dressing
4 pork loin chops, preferably with the bone in
1/2 cup freshly shredded Parmesan Cheese

Preheat the oven to 180*C/375*F/Gas mark 5. Spray a 12 by 8 inch glass baking dish with cooking spray and set aside.

Sift the flour and Italian seasoning into a shallow dish. Put the salad dressing into another shallow dish. Coat both sides of each pork chop in the flour mixture and then in the salad dressing, making sure they are well coated. Place them into the baking dish. Discard any leftover flour and dressing. Sprinkle the cheese evenly over the chops.

Bake in the heated oven for 35 to 40 minutes, until the pork is done and nicely browned. The juices should run clear. Place on heated plates along with your desired accompaniements and serve!



You'll find some scrummy Sticky Ginger Fairycakes over on The English Kitchen this morning! Yummy, yummy!!

PS - I would like to invite you to visit my beautiful Daughter In Law, Anne's page this morning. She has written a beautiful post about her feelings this year on Mother's Day. She recently lost her much beloved mother after a long and painful battle with cancer. You can find her post HERE.