Monday 9 May 2011

Stones in the river . . .

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing

than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.
~ E E Cummings

On her way to Chimayo, a young woman saw two Spanish farmers moving stones into new positions in a riverbed, to help to direct the flow of the water. Feeling compelled to help, she stopped to lend a hand. as she did so, she had the feeling that this was something that had been done for centuries . . . their mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers . . . each in their own time and way . . . had picked up the same stones, pushed about by storm or drought, and repositioned them back into their reserved places so that the water could continue.

That can be a bit like the relationships in our lives. They are a never-ending work . . . as the storms of life and other things move the stones between us and our loved ones around . . . we often find ourselves having to reposition the heavy things which get in the way, enabling us to continue.

The weather of life can sometimes, quite simply . . . jam things up. We find ourselves having to roll up our pant legs and sleeves, and stepping into the river to unclog and restore the flow. We can't move the stones however . . . without first asking ourselves some important questions . . . such as what are these stones that have been pushed between us, and these heavy things that keep getting in the way?? Without knowing what we carry, or what is blocking our direction, we can never know how to open the dam which is stopping the flow.

Communication is so very important and vital. When we don't allow ourselves to see, or hear, or feel . . . when we keep ourselves adrift from harsh realities and truths, protecting our hearts and putting up barriers . . . we are really disturbing the flow of our lives. It is really only human to do so . . . but it is so very destructive . . . and robs us of blessings that are only ours to reap.

I hate Mother's Day. There, I said it. I hate it because most of the year I can push away the heartache that I feel from having children who want nothing to do with me . . . but on that one day of the year, (two for me living in the UK) it slaps me in the face, and I cannot ignore the pain and the hurt of it all. The reality is, that I don't know what has caused this rift . . . and in not knowing, I am powerless to fix it. I have asked, but I am ignored, rejected . . . there are no answers given . . . and no opportunity for me to redress or repair any damage done. It is like an open gaping wound with no salve to heal it, that continues to fester . . . It is like being in a trial that is one sided . . . where the jury only sees one side of the story and the verdict is rendered without ever having seen the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You are condemned without ever having been able to defend yourself or explain . . . it is harsh and it is my only sorrow, and no matter how I may try to move the stones . . . it is a part of my river that always remains blocked . . .

*Tortilla Scramble*
Serves 4
Printable Recipe

A quick and easy brunch treat that is family friendly and very tasty!

1 TBS butter
1/4 cup chopped fresh coriander (cilantro)
1/2 of a small bunch of spring onions, trimmed and chopped
1 (10-ounce) tin of enchilada sauce
5 cups yellow tortilla chips
6 large free range eggs, beaten
1/4 cup milk

For the fresh salsa:
1/4 cup chopped fresh coriander (cilantro)
1/2 of a small bunch of spring onions, trimmed and chopped
1 cup of baby plum tomatoes, halved
1 green chili, seeded and chopped (with care)
the juice from 1/2 lime

To serve:
sour cream, greated cheese, lime wedges

Make the fresh salsa by combining all the ingredients in a bowl. Give them a good stir and then set aside. (Take care when handling fresh chilies. Wear gloves if possible. If not, then wash hands very well afterwards and do not touch your eyes.)

Heat 1 tsp of the butter in a large saucepan. Add the coriander and spring onions. Cook and stir for one minutes. Add the enchilada sauce and then stir in the tortillas to coat. Reduce the heat to low and keep warm.

Whisk together the eggs, milk, and 1/4 tsp. each salt and pepper in a bowl. Add the remaining butter to a large skillet. Heat until the butter begins to foam. Pour in the egg mixture. With spatula, lift and fold partially cooked egg mixture from edges to center so that the uncooked egg portion flows underneath. Continue for 4 to 5 minutes or until eggs are cooked through, but still glossy and moist. Remove from heat.

Slide the tortilla mixture onto a platter. Top with the scrambled egg and then finally the fresh salsa. Serve immediately with sour cream, cheese and additional lime wedges.

Cooking in The English Kitchen today, Sticky Bangers with Buttermilk and Chive Mash.


  1. It is so sad Marie, when your children reject you...or you them...There are so many family break downs these days..
    I pray that one day your children will realise just how much they are missing,, you are such a wonderful Mother and an insperation to so many...
    God Bless,
    Much Love Sybil xx

  2. I empathise, Marie and know something of what you feel. It's the not knowing that is the hard part and the injustice of years and years of caring being simply dismissed as though it didn't happen.

    I'm not as brave as you - I keep that compartment of my heart locked, bolted and heavily guarded at all times. Especially birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day. We each cope the best way we can, I suppose.

    Thinking of you and hoping you can find a resolution to your dilemma and a way back into their hearts.

  3. Oh, Marie... I am so sorry you had a tough weekend. It pains my own heart to know what has been happening for you all these year and the rifts in your family. Sometime it is in not knowing something that can hurt the most. And then we wreck our minds and hearts tearing it all to pieces trying to find an answer. I hope in time you will find the answers. And most all that that things can be repaired--while all are still live now. Be taking good care my friend--LOVE YOU LOTS ((BIG HUGS)) P.S Love your tortilla scramble...I want to make that next weekend. :o) thanks so much for your kind thoughts on my painting/feature last week.

  4. I'm so sorry for you:( I didn't know.I pray one day soon the rift..ends..Everyone needs a happy ending to a story.You deserve one.
    It's amazing how many of us crave our moms now gone:( And they have you right there ..I hope it mends soon.

  5. Thats a sad sad thing Marie, its their loss for sure.Mothers Day is just one day,, its over now,, I know some people hate the holidays for this very reason,, i still think they must be suffering inside,, your kids I mean.I pray for an answer to this for you.It makes for a very heavy heart.

  6. oh no:( i just wished you a happy mothers day(belated) on the post below but i see now it wasn't very happy. i'm so sorry. i'm sorry you have such a deep wound to live with. i hope and pray it can be healed and that your children will come back to you. i know they will. someday it will all be made right. but until then, i know you are suffering so much:( i can't imagine. prayers and hugs!

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  8. Praying for your heart to mend and theirs to soften. Sending love and hugs too! B

  9. So sorry,I unstand I've been reject by one of mind and don't know why,been about 2yrs now.And have tryed,no answers.your in my prayers as always.Hugs xxx

  10. Happy Mother's Day to a mother of my heart. :)

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  12. Marie, I just want to hug you. I have grown to love you deeply. I really feel that a loving and tender Heavenly Father will provide an opening of communication between you and your children. I will be praying for you also. Be sure and put all of your names on the prayer roll until you receive the blessings; which I know you will.
    Blessings to you!

  13. I am Marie's eldest son. I have to say that the foul comments left here were no reflection on reality, written by someone far removed from what happened in our family's past, they can only know what's been told to them, and what lies they dream up in their vile hearts. God is the one who passes judgement, and to do so yourself is not to live God's way. To spread your mis-truths is even more a sin, you should feel shame at what you've done. IF you had any honour or truth, you would not hide anonymously.

    My wonderful mother provided an abundance of love, understanding and compassion (not to mention good food) as we were growing up. It was mostly up to her to bring up five children, as my father is a military man, and did not have a heck of a lot of time for us.

    Every Christmas my mother would coordinate family gatherings, decorate the house, and cook many a tasty treat for all the company we would have over.

    A testament to her fine mothering skills would be the fine children she has. Every one of us has compassion and love for others, and are more selfless than selfish.

    Myself and Douglas inherited her love of cooking, and every day we cook it is a reminder of those fantastic family meals we shared every night. My sister Amanda is a nurse, caring for others, complete strangers even, which I am sure has more than something to do with the love and compassion our mother showed us as children. Eileen is a world champion in the special Olympics, is a devout Christian in a way most of us could only dream, and also loves to cook. Eileen is so generous and loving it is hard to believe, even when people are taking obvious advantage of her she takes it in stride, this is yet another hallmark of my Mothers hard work. Bruce is the youngest, and was quite young when the divorce happened, so he is the one most deeply affected by all this, and likely the one with the biggest questions about it all. He is very much like Mom in his tenderness and passion, and especially in his sense of humour. I wish only for his sake that things had happened differently, as it is hard to look through pain to see the good in things. The rest of us should be able to realize by now, as we are almost all parents ourselves now, how very human both our parents are.

    May everyone go in peace. God bless you Mom, I hope your mother's day was not a total bust.

  14. What a wonderful tribute from your son. It is a treasure that will warm your heart each time you think of his kind words. Someday all of your children will see what a dear person you are. I pray that this happens soon... but as you know... we all have to have patience and trust in the Lord and His timing.

    I love you Marie. Hugs, Lura

  15. "Stop": if you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it at all. and don't go on someone else's public blog and write crap about her. have some decency.

    i love you marie:) and i loved reading what your son wrote about you, how sweet is that? i bet that was a wonderful mother's day gift for you! what a tribute to you!


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