Wednesday Witterings . . .

 

 

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I don't know how this keeps happening, but tomorrow pretty much marks the middle of the month of October. Once again the pages are slipping off the calendar as quickly as quick can be.  Mind we have had a lot to contend with this month so it really shouldn't be surprising.

Eileen was really uncomfortable yesterday. My heart breaks to see her feeling the way that she does. Its the stitches down below that are causing her so much pain. I helped her to go to the loo first thing this morning and she said it didn't seem quite as bad as yesterday, but it's still bad. There are no pain killers left now so it's Tylenol all the way. Lets hope it helps to ease the discomfort a bit.

I read through her medical papers last night to see if I was missing something, looking up some of the terms on Google. Stage one Endometrial cancer, which is good because that means it was caught early.  They removed everything including the ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus and did something to the lymph glands. I am surprised  that she is not in more pain than she is to be honest.

I am so proud of my girl. She is being so brave through all of this. Never a complaint or a whine, just a quiet "I wish this was all over." If I could take it all from her I would.

Needless to say we will not be going to the Big Scoop this week. She had hoped that she would be able to go to Tim Hortons a few times this week, but that's not going to happen either. It will in time. Just not yet.

 

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Its a rainy day out there today. just light at the moment. I am not sure how much heavier it will get but it promises to be cool today as well. I had my heat on for a little bit yesterday. And I will no doubt put it on for a little bit today. I have to say, however, my place seems to hold the heat well. Being the middle unit I am protected on either side of me so only get wind when it is coming from the front or the back. A great blessing for sure.

 

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Moonlit Apples

At the top of the house the apples are laid in rows,

And the skylight lets the moonlight in, and those

Apples are deep-sea apples of green. There goes

A cloud on the moon in the autumn night.

A mouse in the wainscot scratches, and scratches, and then

There is no sound at the top of the house of men

Or mice; and the cloud is blown, and the moon again

Dapples the apples with deep-sea light.

They are lying in rows there, under the gloomy beams;

On the sagging floor;  they gather the silver streams

Out of the moon, those moonlit apples of dreams,

And quiet is the steep stair under.

In the corridors under there is nothing but sleep,

And stiller than ever on orchard boughs they keep

Tryst with the moon, and deep is the silence, deep

On moon-washed apples of wonder.

~John Drinkwater (1882 - 1937)

I thought I would share this poem with you. I loved it and I thought you might as well. What a talent it is to be able to string words together in such a way as you paint a picture in the eyes and heart of another being with just them . . . and nothing else.

 

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We had a visit from the Sister Missionaries on Monday.  This is the first time we have had Missionaries here in our area for a couple of years now. Eileen really enjoyed their visit. The girls bring a slightly different spirit with them than the boys do. One of them has not long since begun her mission and the other is only a month or so away from finishing hers. It was really nice to have them in my home. I promised them a recipe for sour dough bread so I best do that today. I am not sure if they have a sour dough starter or not. But it wouldn't surprise me if they did.

I have not begun a starter here. I had a good one working when I was still in the U.K. and I even had jars of dried starter that I could reactivate, but I was afraid to bring them with me because of customs, etc. From time to time I toy with the idea of starting a new one, but I never get past the toying stage. I don't have a lot of space to keep one going.

 

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My sister had our father up to New Minas yesterday to the eye doctors to see what is going on with his sight. I have thought his right eye looked wonky for a while now.  There is nothing wrong with his eyes, they are both healthy except that the right eye, which is the one he always squints or shuts does not move. So they are setting up a CT scan in the next to see what might be causing that. To check his brain to see if anything is going on there that doesn't show up when they look in his eye. They said it is a good sign that his eye is not swollen. Cindy will be taking him back to the Ophthalmologist in a month's time to see what's up.

My sister is such a treasure. The way she takes care of dad is a credit to her.  And you know, when she was a teenager, dad was not particularly nice to her.  He said to me not that long ago how much he appreciated her care and I said to him I bet he wishes he had been nicer to her way back then. 

He's become quite incontinent in recent weeks and has fallen out of bed at least twice. My sister is a saint.  The way she cares for dad and the way she takes Bailey back and forth to Sheila's almost every day. Sheila always tells everyone that Cindy is babysitting Bailey, but the truth is Bailey is my sister's now pretty much.  They are just waiting for a space in a care home for Sheila according to one of the carers my sister spoke to. She is not competent enough to care for herself any longer.  Sad to say.

 

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My ex dropped off a new pair of trainers to Eileen on Sunday afternoon. I guess he has another pair ordered as well, at least I understood him to say that.  He's been texting her each day to see how she is doing. Yesterday he told her that they had had 23 people at his place for Thanksgiving Dinner. My daughter and her family were down from Halifax, and probably my son and his family from the next town over and who knows who all else. The grands were playing football in the front yard he said. I try not to let these things bother me. I have not seen my daughter since Eileen's wedding 14 years ago. Nor heard from her either. I did message her the other night to ask her a question about Eileen's condition, hoping she would be able to help me with something. She is a nurse practitioner and I thought she would be able to help. I could see where she had read it, but she never responded.  It is what it is and there is not a lot that I can do about it.  Not really. But I would be lying if I said it didn't make me feel sad. 

 

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Another few weeks and we will have trick or treaters at the door. Eileen is looking forward to handing out the candy this year.  I have a few boxes of chocolate bars in, but I think I better get a few other bits so that we have enough. I always worry about running out. Even when my kids were small I would worry that I was going to run out of candy to hand out. I even dreamt about it. Anxiety dreams. I have them about all the holidays and they are always the same, it is the day and I haven't prepared enough. Not for Thanksgiving, not Halloween, not Christmas, not Easter . . .  funny that. I have no idea why.

 

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I was sitting here looking out the window yesterday while Eileen was having her nap. We are a street of older women, mostly unattached. There is only one of us that has a husband, and that is Zillah on my right hand side.  He's a dear.  He has helped me to fix my bird feeder and I just know did I ask him for help with anything he would help.  Zillah also. Good, good people.  I think the next street over is also older single women as well. Most of us will end up on our lonesome in our old age, unless we are really blessed. Women generally outlive their husbands it is said.  Also in the case of divorce or separation, men are always a lot quicker to find someone else.  It's easier for them. Not so easy for women.  Men have a much larger pool to pick from. I discovered that when I found myself single in my early 40's. Men in their 40's didn't want a woman in her 40's, neither did many men in their 50's. They wanted much younger women, and had no trouble finding them.  Its funny how that goes.  When men look in the mirror at themselves, they see Adonis . . .  women, when they look in the mirror see reality. haha

Although, I'll be honest here, I have seen a few reels on IG of women in their 70's and 80's (clearly) acting and dressing etc. like they are in their 40's. I don't get that personally, but who am I to judge.

And with that I will close this off and leave you with a thought for the day . . . 

☾ ° ★° * 。  

• ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★

*Don't give to get.

Give to inspire others to give.

~Simon Sinex

In The English Kitchen today, Fluffy Buttermilk Drop Biscuits. Simple, delicious and on the table in less than half an hour.

I hope you have a beautiful Wednesday.  Be happy. Be blessed. Don't forget!

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And I do too!