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OCTOBER 23rd, 2026
Estate Lane, Nova Scotia
5*C/41*F
windy with rain expected later
Dear Neighbour,
Not quite as cold this morning although my weather app says because of the wind it is feeling a lot colder out. I can believe that. I have turned on the in-floor heating in my bathroom so that it is warmer in there.
Eileen is still sleeping. She got up when I did this morning to go to the loo. She's been doing that most mornings. But then she goes back to bed and sleeps for a few more hours. She is doing quite well, all things considered. She still has not ventured out of the house and she is still half reclining in the lazy boy chair when she is awake, Still not doing diamond art. But she is walking around a bit better and is toileting herself now. For the most part. I still have to help her pull up her pants, etc. She cannot bend or reach.
She had quite a busy day yesterday. My cousin Maria came to see her in the morning and brought her a nice little vase of flowers (artificial) and a little teddy bear. Eileen was thrilled. We had a lovely visit together the three of us, and then her worker Amy was here for another couple of hours. After that Eileen did have a nap. She sleeps a lot, but that is to be expected and I think is aiding in her healing. Overall, I think she is doing very well. Each day brings small improvements. It has only been 2 1/2 weeks.
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Vermont/New Hampshire is an area I have long romanticized in my mind. I often thought in years past that if I could live anywhere in the world, it would be there, and dreamed of winning the lottery and moving there. Not so much these days. But now that I am older, my wanderlust has lessened a lot and I am quite content to just stay home.
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Halloween is always very exciting on this street. Because we have relatively no traffic here on my street and there is a sidewalk that leads through to the next street over where they also have no traffic, we get lots of children. It is quite a busy night. I love to see all the children in their costumes, especially the younger ones. They are so excited. A lot of the parents seem to dress up as well, which I enjoy as well.
Such an exciting time for the kids.
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I think that is the part that is making me feel sad. I never got to see or spend time with any of my grandchildren when they were small. When I returned here six years ago (in just a few weeks time) I had such high hopes that I would finally be able to spend time with one of my grandchildren while they were still small. Liam would have not been quite a year old at that time. I bought that tiny rocking chair for in my house, thinking it would be Liam's chair and I have never even seen him, or gotten to spend any time with him. He will be 7 on his birthday next, and I think it dawned on me yesterday that I probably never will and that has made me feel incredibly sad.
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These things are things that I struggle with on a daily basis, and most days I am able to stuff the feelings down and move past them. I am usually a very positive person, or at least I try to be, but at the moment I am really struggling with them.
I felt almost angry at one point yesterday. When my cousin Maria was here. I was angry with Todd for all that he took from me. What his lies and deceit had stolen from me. Over 20 years with my family. All of the births of my grands. The opportunity for me to maybe find someone that I could have shared my old age with. Relationships with at least two of my children. Not being able to spend the last years of my mother's life with her. The list is rather lengthy. I try not to dwell on it, most of the time, but for some reason at the moment my feelings are very tender about it all.
Nobody wants to hear this. This too shall pass. I know it will. I need to dwell on my blessings a bit more.
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Eileen and I started watching this show on Prime yesterday with Jennifer Garner in it. Five Star Weekend. We both really liked it, so much so that we binged two episodes. The wealth in this film however is outrageous. It is hard to believe that people are actually that rich, but I know they are. I mean I worked for them. But it's nice and the storyline is quite compelling and the scenery is beautiful. And . . . Eileen is enjoying it so we will watch the series all the way through.
Plus I really like Jennifer Garner.
It will soon be time to start watching all the Hallmark Christmas chick flicks. I like those. They always have happy endings.
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Normally on Fridays I would be going out with my sister and dad to take him to the mall. That's not happening this week. I don't think I could risk leaving Eileen on her own for that long. Maybe next week. I am missing my outings a bit, but its okay, I would not trade the privilege of being able to do this for my daughter for anything, or all the Friday outings in the world. Things will be back to normal soon enough.
Her goal is that she can move back into her apartment after Halloween, but I really don't think that is going to happen. Especially where she is still not venturing out of the house, can't face sitting on the sofa, not doing her diamond art, etc. Unless something drastically improves over the next week, I don't see her being able to move back to her place. And that's okay with me. I am here for her as long as I need to be. But I did suggest that we get a small notebook and that she write some goals in it and then start actively working towards them. I will dig around the house today and see if I can find one that I don't mind parting with.
In any case, my life being as narrow as it is at the moment, I have run out of things to talk about, so I will end this now . . .
A thought to carry with you . . .
☾ ° ★° * 。
• ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★★ 。* 。° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
*But they who wait for the lord
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings
as eagles; they shall run and
not be weary; they shall walk
and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:31
.jpg "Meatloaf Pie")
In The English Kitchen today . . . Meatloaf Pie. This is a tasty version of meatloaf that everyone in my family always loves. No small wonder as it is incredibly delicious!
I hope that you have a lovely Friday. May it be filled with light and with love. Don't forget!
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⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
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And I do too!
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