The last warm hint of sunlight on the hills,
The naked harvest-field where Autumn spills
All the rich colors of her glowing stores,
Like Persian carpets laid on temple floors.
The earth is seamed with cracks and jagged scars,
The cattle stand beside the milking bars,
Waiting their quiet stable, dim and warm,
Sensing the hidden coming of the storm.
Even the dog whines now with lifted face
To come insie to his accustomed place
Behind the stove . . (he'll snore, and maybe bark
At some imagined person in the dark.)
I like to wake and know the cattle sleep
In warm, clean straw . . and in their pen the sheep
Lie huddled close, their breathing sweet and soft,
Mounting like incense to the dusty loft.
For our good land has meat and grace and health,
The marrow of her bones her hidden wealth.
A nation builds her walls on shifting sand
Unless her roots are nurtured in the land.
~Edna Jaques, Fall, My Kitchen Window (1935)
Many of the leaves have blown off in the storm last weekend, but there is still plenty of color there to delight my eye, especially in the early morning light of a brilliantly sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky. It is getting dark much earlier these days and will be even more so when the clocks fall back. And it is dark when I get up in the morning.
The cats come to curl themselves around my ankles as I get up each morning, their eyes squinting from the sudden light after having spent a night in darkness. Their purring engines are revving, making me feel loved. It is nice not to be alone, and I am grateful for their company. They do not ask for much in return. A warm place to sleep, food in their bellies, some ear scratches and belly rubs.
.JPG)
I had ordered a new place for them to sleep, with two comfy sleeping places so that they don't have to cram themselves into one small basket. Of course, it came in a flat pack. I spent an hour putting it together yesterday. I had thought that they might enjoy this in front of the window but hadn't really thought it through. It is too easy for them to reach my glass birds, so I have put it elsewhere. Unfortunately, elsewhere is not so welcoming to them as they cannot lay out and see what's happening on the street, and they do so love to keep current on the happenings there. I may have to rethink the positioning of my glass birds.
Of course, while I was building it and immediately afterwards, it was a source of great curiosity. Little paws are not very helpful when you are trying to put things together, but each aspect of the building process was carefully scrutinized and approved.
Its lovely and soft. The little house bit is somewhat small for their larger frames. Cinnamon can get in, but Nutmeg is far too big. They do enjoy the hanging pom pom.
They're back! I had written to Old Dutch asking them what happened to them, and the response was that the summer here in the Maritimes was too humid and so they had stopped production for a few months, but that they would be back the end of September. My sister happened to be at one of the local grocery stores after supper last night and there they were. There were only two packs left. She grabbed one for me and dropped it off on her way to pick up Dan after work.
Love is a sister. I was so surprised and grateful for the care given. 💖 I am blessed, and I know it.
I had a lovely lunch out with my friend Christine yesterday. We did not go far, just around the corner from me. I had my usual fish and chips. (What else!) I basically only ate the fish and a few chips, but it was nice to be there with a friend. (The fish was done perfectly.) I have known Christine for about 25 years now. I introduced her daughter to her husband, and they have six children now. I served with Christine in the Relief Society Presidency not too long after I joined the church. We had a lovely catch up with each other yesterday. We both find ourselves at a point in life now where we are on our lonesome. She is divorced and I am, well you know . . . Anyways, it was really nice to get together. Life has not always been kind to either of us, but it has also been very beautiful. We have much to be grateful for.
I do not actually mind living on my own much. I have always enjoyed my own company and when I think back on the years, much of my life has been spent on my own without a companion for company. Even when I was married and bringing up my children, my husband was away more than he was at home, so my evenings were often spent on my own. I did not mind overly much, and I do not mind overly much, but there are times when I really wish I had someone to talk to about the inner whispers and groanings of my heart . . . to share with . . . someone who understands and loves the same things. I thought I had that. After having spent so many years with a person who did not get my inner workings, I had been so happy to have found someone I thought was on the same page as myself, someone who shared that side of me that was so precious and personal. It wasn't real.
I wonder if I ever will in this lifetime have someone to share these things with. Probably not, and I need to be okay with that. There is nobody to dance the reel with my old bones while they are still working. If by chance one day, it should happen, I will be as surprised or even more surprised than anyone else will be. I am not looking to be honest. Maybe I need these years to learn how to love myself as I should.
I wonder should I get a pumpkin or two or three. Sometimes I think that I should. They would decorate the front porch and it would be nice to welcome my son and his family with a welcoming autumn porch when they come next weekend. Something bright and color filled.
I had asked my son if he would go to church with me on the Sunday. Normally they will go with his dad and stepmom, but they are away on holiday this year. He said he would think about it, but I don't think he will. I know what the words "I'll think about it" mean. It means thanks but no thanks, but to placate you I will let you think I am thinking about it, but really I'm not going to even entertain the thought.
Most people think Latter Day Saints to be a peculiar people and I am not sure why, but I think we frighten them a tiny bit. And I "get" it. I used to hide behind the sofa when the missionaries came to my door all those years ago as well.
I had just thought it would be nice for once to feel like one of those people who come to church on a special occasion with some of their family around them. All these years, I have watched people come to church on the holidays, surrounded with children and grandchildren, etc. and I have longed so much for that same thing. It is not to be, I guess. I need to be okay with that and pop that dream balloon once and for all.
They are probably afraid I will try to convert them. Really all I wanted to do was feel like I had a family in a church that is filled with family and very family oriented, instead of on my own. Not sure if that makes sense, but there it is.
Instead, I will just be grateful that I have some family to spend Thanksgiving with when for so many years I did not. 😊 You need to count your blessings where you find them.
I saw this quote by Hank Smith on Instagram this morning.
"You may be up late wondering if life is every going to come together for you. It will. God has a plan for your life. Keep doing all the right you know how to do. Keep repenting when you fall short. You'll survive the dark and the cold. The Son will rise and fill you with warmth"
It's funny how that goes. People ask me how do I know there really is a God? Well, it's because I look for him in all of my moments and because I am looking for him, I see him, and I find him. It has been ever so. Even in my lowest darkest moments I have sought him out and he has been there to help guide me through them. I don't know how else to explain it.
It's time to start feeding the other birds again. Insects are slowly going to ground. Flowers, etc. The gardens are getting ready for the long Winter sleep. I need to get a few more bird feeders and fill them, I guess. Something empties them as soon as I fill them. I have a tiny one and I fill it and within an hour it is empty. I would love to have a big bird table like this that draws them all in, gathers them in to feed. The cats would really enjoy watching them and so would I. I never thought of stringing the peanuts up like that.
Ohh, that reminds me of when my children were small, and we used to make popcorn and cranberry garlands for on our Christmas tree. We always put the garlands out after Christmas for the birds to enjoy, and they did.
I used to make my own fat blocks as well, filled with bird seed and apple chunks, raisins, peanut butter. The birds loved them.
I best leave you with a thought for today. Its conference today and I have quite a few things I need to do before it begins!
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★ *Beneath every behavior there is a feeling,
And beneath each feeling is a need.
And when we meet that need rather
than focus on the behavior, we begin
to deal with the cause, not the symptom.
•。★★ 。* 。•。★★ 。* 。•。★★ 。* 。
I hope you have a wonderful Saturday filled with lots of nice things. Be happy. Be blessed. Be inspired. Happy October! Don't forget!
═══════════ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ═══════════
⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════
And I do too!
.JPG)
.jpg)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
