Saturday 23 October 2021

Keeping it Real . . .


Normally I would do an "All Things Nice" post on Saturday.  Just a part of my trying to hold things together in my mind and my life,  and an exercise in dwelling on the positive.  It has been a year since my life started falling apart, and almost a year since I walked totally away from my life in the UK.  This has been a year of tremendous growth and healing for me.  Am I totally there yet?  No, probably not, but I am trying each day to just put a positive foot forward and to make the best out of the hand of cards I have been dealt.

I still have days where the pain of it all is so raw that I feel as if you scratch the surface I will start to melt, just like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy threw water on her.  A seemingly benign substance that in the end was the witch's complete undoing.    

I am trying my hardest not to let that happen. I have been incredibly blessed over these months to have surrounded myself with people that have only my best interests at heart and who have supported me in every way that they can, mentally and otherwise. My faith has also helped me a great deal. I do not know where I would be now without it.  

Overall I think, all things considered, I have done remarkably well despite having come through a very difficult and heart rending experience.  My friend Jacquie said to me yesterday, most people having gone through what I have been through would have ended up in a mental institution.  There are days when I don't know why I haven't.



 For the most part people have been very kind and understanding with me.  People have been very supportive and caring. I am and will always be very grateful for that. You all know who you are.

Occasionally however there is one person throughout the whole experience who has exercised  a form of passive aggression against me. Its like they say, oh  . . .  a scab.  Let me just pick it a tiny bit and see if it bleeds. 

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals appear passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way. Instead, they express their anger by subtly undermining the object (real or imagined) of their resentments. 

This has been expressed in a number of ways, but usually via private comments that, whilst not totally aggressive on the surface, have been designed to tug at the scab which, on some days,  is all that is holding me together.  I do not know what they hope to accomplish with this.  I mostly try to ignore it, but a lot of the time it really bothers me and it does exactly what it is intended to do.

It has manifested itself by a host of many small and tiny words and comments . . . digs, intended not to support but to tear down. 

I do not know what I have ever done to this person to cause this. I can't think of anything that immediately comes to mind, and believe me when I say I have tried.  I have come to the conclusion that none of it comes from a place of love, but from a place which means to do me more harm than good. 
I am no longer going to tolerate it. 


I have blocked them.  And it pains me to have to do that. I am so not a blocking kind of a person. I am the type of person who has a really difficult time understanding behavior like that because it is so opposite to the way that I am.  I have forgiven everyone in my life who has ever hurt me.  Totally. I may not forget, but I have forgiven. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to forget.  Anyways, I have blocked them in every way that I can, and hopefully this will put an end to the problem.

I cannot block them from reading what I write on here however.   The best I can do is to ignore their responses. But I do have a final few words for them. 

Blogging for me has never been about the numbers of people who read or who comment. Its only ever been about me being able to express myself.  People can either read or not read. Of course I am most appreciative of those who comment, and I try to respond to each and every comment when I can, but I am not perfect. And that goes for comments on here, on the kitchen blog, on my personal and EK face book pages, Twitter, Instagram, etc.  That requires a lot of time and energy but I don't mind. If you can take the time to comment, I can take the time to respond.  

The number of comments you see on either blog or social media post is by no means a reflection of my readership.  Many people also prefer to be private and I get some really lovely e-mails and messages in private that nobody else ever knows about.  I do really appreciate the effort people make to communicate with me.

Do I express my recipes with a lot of photos on Instagram? Yes, that is just what I do. Corny or not. I try to present things from every angle that I can. Ofttimes I simply can't decide which is the best photo to use. Nobody is under any obligation to swipe and many don't I am sure.  I am just grateful for the opportunity to share and that goes for everything. My photos on IG, on Twitter, my FB page, my blogs.

Am I a Diabetic?  Yes. And yes I do love food. All kinds of food.  Do I have things in my life that I am not proud of?  Yes.  I am human. I sometimes eat things I shouldn't and I have a past that is not entirely spotless. Nobody has lived a spotless and perfect life. I do like to think that I am a kind individual however, and I would never kick a person when they are down, or attempt to make them feel any worse about things than they do already.  I ascribe to the rule of Thumper's mom. "If you can't say something good, then don't say anything at all." 

I have been through a horrendous year and then some.  Its not a year that I would wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy.  I am incredibly grateful for all the help I have had along the way.  I am swimming as fast as I can here.  And sometimes I take two steps forward and sometimes I take three steps back, but I am getting there.  Some days it takes all of my energy to just stay on an even keel and act like everything is okay when really it is not.  I don't want to bore people with details or feelings.  I know they get tired of hearing it. I get tired of hearing it, but it is what it is.  And I say none of this because I want or deserve a pat on the back, or because I want pity (that's the last thing I want!). I just want you, Miss Passive Aggression,  to leave me alone.  You who delights in being the enemy of my soul. 

This passive aggressive behavior has escalated of late and I am  putting a stop to it now.  I will no longer give you a voice or a toe-hold in my life.  I wish only the best for you, but I no longer have space for you in my life. Its that simple.  I love me more than that. 


My sister and Dan popped over yesterday morning so that Dan could take my summer tires out of the back of my car and put them in the garage.  I am so grateful for that. He's so good to me. It was pretty obvious to my sister however that all was not right. She knows me so well.  I am so grateful for her. I wish everyone had a Cindy in their life. I hope that it works both ways.  She had not long since left to go home when she messaged me and said did I want to go to Gouchers etc.  So we went on a short road trip and it was so good to get out of the house and just be with her.  I am so grateful for this easy friendship that we have with each other and for the love that we share. 


I get emails from Jenny of Elefantz.  She does beautiful embroidery and quilting etc.  I just love it. In the latest e-mail there was a free pattern for this potholder. Yesterday my sister and I went to the fabric store so I could get a couple of fat quarters to make one, or maybe two or three. We will see! 

I picked up some fat quarters. A red and a green one for the potholder and then I couldn't resist the bee fabrics. I love bees on everything.  I really hope that it turns out the way I want it to. The pot holder that is.  I don't have my roller cutter and rulers, matts, etc. that I had in the UK, but I can make do for a small project like this. I don't expect our Grandmother's had them either.

We went to the Superstore after for a few bits.  Dutchies!  They had Dutchies!  We both love Dutchies.  (this is a Canadian donut, shaped like a square donut, lightly spiced, filled with sweet raisins and glazed.)  I got a pack of two and guess what we ate in the car on the way home!  To heck with the diet.  They were pretty darn good too! 

It was just really nice to be out and about with my sister. I love her so much. I am going there for supper tonight.  Homemade Cabbage Rolls! I'm bringing dessert.

 This is the shawl I am working on. Surprisingly the kittens don't seem to bother me when I am crocheting it. Mind you the yarn is kept in a small plastic bag right next to me. It seems to work well. I like the way it is shaping up.

Also a painting I have been working on. A watercolor.  I just have a few more bits of snow to do. Painting with the kittens around is a lot harder to cope with.  lol  They like to be involved. 

Yesterday I had a spectacular cake fail and I discovered this morning that the bottle of apple cider I bought must be faulty because it had emptied itself out into the door drawer I had it on and leaked down through the whole door, etc.  I had to clean up that mess first thing this morning.    Its all just  a part of life.  Today should be better!  I needed to clean the fridge door anyways!

A thought to carry with you  . . .  

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★
*Its time for you to start taking 
the necessary steps to become
that version of yourself that
you can't stop dreaming about.
•。★★ 。* 。•。★★ 。* 。 


I don't have a new recipe to share in the kitchen today but I am sharing this old one.  Cinnamon Drizzle Cake. Its delicious!  

I hope you have a wonderful Saturday and weekend.  Whatever you get up to be happy, and don't forget! 

═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ 

And I do too!  


  1. Sometimes it works sometimes not lol.
    Marie I have had people like that in my life one in particular passive you say but cutting awful remarks that sting.
    I would block ..I did in my life..
    They have the problem not you.
    I want a Cindy..
    Kidding but how wonderful you two.
    All the crafts so cute.
    Let her go…..

    1. I am really blessed to have a Cindy in my life. We have been best friends for all of her life and most of mine! xoxo

  2. Hi Marie, so glad you are not giving the not-so-nice person any power over you. Life is just too short to tolerate unkindness. I love your winter scene painting. It's lovely. Enjoy your weekend. Peace to all of you. Love and hugs, Elaine

    1. Thanks so much Elaine! Peace and love and hugs to you and Larry. xoxo

  3. I think your faith and positive attitude are to be admired. Just try to remember there is no pleasing everyone. It's good you can block them so you can stay focused on the positives in your life. The important thing is to please yourself. It's important to always be kind to others more than anything.

  4. I don't understand how anyone could be that way to you - all that I get from your blog is goodness,love, and a sense of gratitude in life. Your journey has been inspiring and I wish you only the best!
    And yes, I wish I had a Cindy too! I do have a lovely brother though, and that's a gift.

    1. I wish you had a Cindy also Mary. Everyone should have one! Thank you so much for your love and support. xoxo

  5. Life is so full of challenges and most of them are people!! Not a wonder we find our pets so awesome, is it? The person who preached to forgive and forget all my life, was my abuser...funny that...OF COURSE, they prefer we forget what they did. Sometimes that is humanly not possible. Glad you have so many wonderful folks around...and esp. your sister!! I always wished I had one...thanks for sharing yours here in print!! I hope better days are ahead for you...and it is a miracle that you are so well set up just a year!! I appreciate the many lovely projects and ideas you share well as your honest thoughts!
    Elizabeth xoxo

    1. Thanks very much Elizabeth. I agree I have done and accomplished a lot in a year. It is almost mind boggling! xoxo

  6. Stay strong lovely lady. I don’t comment much, but rest assured I look forward to your posts EVERY DAY xxxx 😍😍

  7. Don’t feel bad about blocking. Some people have a goal in life to bring down other people. You can feel sorry for them but don’t tolerate them. Choose your friends, you have lovely followers.

    1. Thank you so much Angharad. I agree, I have lovely followers! xoxo

  8. You are correct, there is no space in life for someone who is unkind. Enjoy your dear family and your many blessings. Love that potholder and your painting! I so enjoy your posts, stay happy! xo,V

  9. Hi Marie. I love your water color. It is really beautiful. So sorry you have had to block someone. I have had to do that on occasion in my life too. Right now, I am pretty much off of social media altogether except for posting travel pictures now and again, and of course, blogging, which I love. There are some really mean people on social media (especially FaceBook). You are a strong and lovely person who I would love to meet in person. I read your blog much more than I comment. I appreciate you sharing your faith and testimony because it strengthens my own. Thank you and God bless. :-)

    1. Thank you very much Deb! Love your new profile photo! I would love to meet in person one day also. God bless, xoxo

  10. Hello Marie, I read your blogs everyday and so enjoy following along with your life, your experiences, your great posts for new ideas and recipes. Just want to say..writing a blog, as you know, opens a person up to all sorts of people in the world....many of those folks have major problems in their lives that often they cannot face and therefore get some type of satisfaction for themselves by writing ugly comments on other's blogs. Sadly, if you try to converse with them, it only gets worse. I imagine you know this already. So just block them. It is their problem, not yours. Ironically, over time time, they might realize this. Thanks for continuing your blog after your move back home...I have a great high school friend who lives in Nova Scotia...It's such a beautiful place. I live in Illinois...Take care and as you told me once some years ago: God loves you and so do I.

  11. Oh, my dear friend, I'm sad to read that you ever getting any negative comments I think you are such a wonderful woman with an open and honest heart. You have gone through so much and come out refined even more. You are amazing, talented and have precious gifts. Thanks for sharing at time your heartaches, because I know it helps other so see how well you have truly handled it all.
    I love your relationship with your sister; that is the best ever. Your treat sounded yummy. I say heck to the diet alot. I have not mastered that yet.
    Sending loving thoughts, prayers and hugs your way!


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