Wednesday 2 December 2020

Wednesday this and that . . .

 Carol of the Field Mice by Inga Moore.
rom 'The Wind in the Willows' by Kenneth Grahame.

"It was a pretty sight, and a seasonable one, that met their eyes when they flung the door open. In the fore-court, lit by the dim rays of a horn lantern, some eight or ten little field-mice stood in a semicircle, red worsted comforters round their throats, their fore-paws thrust deep into their pockets, their feet jigging for warmth. With bright beady eyes they glanced shyly at each other, sniggering a little, sniffing and applying coat-sleeves a good deal." 

I have always love LOVED the month of December!  The dark nights filled with light and promise.  The anticipation of the impending holidays.  The expectation of that first snowfall. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the tastes. I may be alone here but December is one of my most favourite  months of the year! 

I don't mind that the month of December opens the windows of the year to another wintertime . . . with it's wind and cold, rain, sleet, snow . . . December brings to me a spark of love and faith, for it heralds the Christmas Season, my favourite season of the year!!
I know that this year it will be a bit different for many of us than other years due to the Virus, but there is no reason why it can't still be special and filled with hope and promise!  I read this morning that they already have a vaccine ready to roll out in the UK in these next weeks, which is very good news indeed.  Can other countries be far behind?  I think not! Monique, you may be getting your Christmas wish! 
 I will miss my Christmas tree this year, with all of its collected and special ornaments.  I had ornaments on it that I had collected since my children were small. It is heartbreaking that I had to leave them behind, but now I have an opportunity to make new memories and collect new things. That cannot be entirely bad.  For years I have been wanting to downsize and start things anew, open a clean slate.  Become a mistress of minimalism.  Now is my chance! 


Oh how I miss my little girl. I have not heard from her new family in a few weeks now. Perhaps they just want a clean break. I am trusting she is well and happy and truly settled in.  Not a day goes by but what I don't think of her and feel a tug on my heart strings. Even this morning looking at this sweet photograph of her brings tears to my eyes. What a great blessing and companion she was in my life. 


I will miss getting a Christmas Cake from Tina and Tony this year.  Every year they used to gift us with a nicely decorated one.  I gave Tina all of my dried fruit that I had stored up to make this years cakes and apparently it was enough to make all of them. So, that's nice to know that I have been a small part of their gift giving this year in some way. 

I would make a cake for here, but actually I am not sure that it would get eaten for the most part. Nobody really likes the fruit cake except for my sister and I, and she is a huge proponent of healthy eating so it would not go over really well. I fear it would be a waste.  

This is the season of giving. Wether they are near their loved ones or far away, people will be exchanging gifts with their loved ones and friends held dear. Stores will be racking up record profits, and . . . if they are not, they will be wondering what changes they can make in the year to come, so that next year will be a bumper year filled with profits. Children all over the world are busy tallying up their Christmas lists, and posting them to Santa Claus in hopes that he will take note . . . and bring them what their little heart desires. 

Children really make the holidays. I loved making my children's Christmas's as special as I could. I was the Queen of Christmas. I think I used to spend all year getting ready for it.  This year will be somewhat subdued because of everything, and to be honest, I had just done enough travelling for one year, but I very much hope that next year I will either have at least some of my family with me, or I will have been able to travel to them for a few days. We shall see what happens. Hope is the greatest gift of all. 


I need to get some writing paper and envelopes.  I feel that I should write a letter to Todd. I am not sure if I am allowed to send a card or not. What can you send to prison?  I want to tell him exactly what he did to me because I am not sure he ever really understood that.  If nothing else at least I will get it off my chest and perhaps find some closure there. In the letter I got from him, he was somewhat apologetic, but he mentioned me being his wife, in CAPITAL letters.  Like it was a brand of ownership or some such. I very much want him to know the minute he lied to me that was over, we were over.  You cannot have a healthy relationship built upon a foundation of deceit. There were happy moments, and plenty of them, but what he did destroyed and coloured all of that.  I know everything happens for a reason, but I struggle to find the reasoning behind any of that. I had thought I could remain friendly with him, but the more I know and learn, the more I realise that may not be possible. Ever.

But I do need to be able to forgive and to be 
able to put it aside.  Not for him, but for me.
Forgiving others is a gift you give to yourself.  

I am pretty sure I will not get gifts and cards out into the mail this year, so I will apologise to everyone in advance.  I will make up for it next year. I promise.  I always tried to get special cards for my good friends from afar.  Pop up cards, etc.  Something different. Not this year unfortunately. Its just not happening. I know people will understand. 

I am still dreaming of this house and what I could do with it.  I could see a Bed and Breakfast being a potential here, but there is no way I could afford the downpayment and furnish it.   

That kitchen  . . .  I can see myself in there  . . .  baking, cooking, photographing, filming, etc.  The one thing which kept me from doing videos in the UK was lack of space and light. Its all here in this beautiful kitchen. 

The vision keeps coming back to me.  I need to buy a lottery ticket of find a magic genie in a bottle.  Oh my. You do need to have a dream in order to make a dream come true. 

First things first.
Buy the ticket. 

I have an appointment today to sort out my mobile phone. I am hoping very much that I can use my existing phone. If not, I will have to buy one and use that. I really hope that I don't have to do that however. 
I also want to start buying myself some pots and pans. One at a time, building them up until I have a full set. That way when I finally do find a place to live I am not going to have to buy too much all at once. I left some beautiful ones behind in the UK. Most had been gifted to me by various companies and such.  
I have not been here in Canada long enough to expect companies to gift me with such things. It will take a while and in the meantime I do need cooking things. I can use my sisters while I am here at her place, but long term I will need to get my own. I need to make a list and then start ticking things off! Be more organised! 

One thing I am doing for the month of December is reading one chapter a day in the book of Luke. There are exactly 24 Chapters in the book and I will reach the 24th on Christmas Eve, and will have read the entire account of Christ's life.  Its a great way to bring some Christ into my Christmas!!

And with that I will leave you with a thought for the day  . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★

“Often the answer to our prayer does not come 
while we’re on our knees but while we’re on our feet 
serving the Lord and serving those around us. 
Selfless acts of service and consecration refine 
our spirits remove the scales from our spiritual eyes 
and open the windows of heaven. 
By becoming the answer to someone’s prayer 
we often find the answer to our own.”
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf  •。★★ 。* 。  

In The English Kitchen today, Mediterranean Chicken Bites.  Delicious little morsels of tender juicy chicken tastiness! Quick and easy as well! 

Have a great Wednesday.  May your day be happy and blessed. Don't forget!

═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ ⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════
And I do too!   



  1. Marie, I think this Christmas is yours just to enjoy and recoup your energy. Maybe if you get all your feelings about Todd down on paper it will help claify your thoughts and how much interaction you want with him. It's sad how the bad taints even the good things. I can see why you love that house. Take gentle care. Hugs and love, Elaine

    1. Love and hugs to you Elaine! I hope you and Larry are staying safe and healthy. The news of the vaccine is good, yes? xoxo

  2. bake that cake... and share it with the children who may come for Christmas carols.. bake it..

    1. We shall see! I don't think my sister likes having a lot of extra food around. This year I may have to curtail myself, but hopefully next year when I am in my own place, things will be different! xoxo

  3. I wish someone could pack up your ornaments and ship to you.
    I know how all those things hold special meaning to you.
    We will get the vaccine but after many.
    Canada is small compared to the world..
    Fingers crossed of yesterday our PM (QC) is holding off until Dec 11th to tell us if we can gather10 people once on Christmas and he was not optimistic.

    Take care..I know you miss Mitzie...

    1. Everything is long gone now Monique. Hard to believe. I am not sorry that Canada is going to have to wait to get the vaccine, by the time we get it maybe all the kinks will have been worked out and we will know for sure it is safe. I am praying you can have some family fo Christmas. xoxo

  4. It must be worrying not to have heard about Mitzie. Did you know the family well? I'm sure they would not mind you contacting them. Is there anything I or any of your Chester friends could do to reassure you?

    1. I hard some at the beginning, but nothing for a couple weeks. Perhaps they feel it is better to just keep things as they are? I don't know. xoxo

  5. Put all your thoughts down in a letter, mail it, and that is a way of letting go a little bit. It is so easy for us to say let it go, when you are the one living it. December arrived with a bit of snow for us. I saw the news of the vaccine for UK, we just need to be patient here in Canada as it will come. What a lovely house to dream about, dreams keep us going. Everything will come together for you eventually.

  6. Yes, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Life is too short to live with anger, grudges and hate. It's not been a good time for you and closure would be nice. But it behind you and move forward.

    1. Yes, you are right about that Pam. Love and hugs, xoxo

  7. Hi Marie~

    You have such a wonderful attitude, Marie. I think it's important to put down on paper how you really feel about Todd and what he has done to you, it's therapeutic. He needs to hear it, it's important for him to know exactly how you feel. Forgiveness is a wonderful gift, but it takes time.

    I know your family is so happy to have you home for Christmas, even if you can't gather, you will feel their love! I hope that you will be able to maybe reach out to the family that has Mitzie, I know how much you miss her, and so do they.

    The house is so pretty. One day you will have your own kitchen, and I can't wait to see what comes out of it!

    Love to you Marie, what a special friend you have been! Take care, and have a good rest of the week! XOXO

    Hugs and Love,

    1. Thanks Barb. I don't always have a good attitude, trust me. Sometimes I just want to lay down and have a good old boo hoo, but I am afraid if I give in to it, I won't be able to pick myself back up again. It is a pretty house for sure. I have to believe that there is a special place just for me. I will find it. Love and hugs. xoxo

  8. Lovely post. It is like home, comforting. If I were you, I would write that letter and tell Todd exactly what he did. It may deter any future letters from him. Also, if there are any legal entanglements, I would diligently work on getting them sorted now. There will be a special place for you, and you will make it a home. Like you, I love Christmas. I made fruitcake this year, but not for us - I gift it. I'm taking off work next Friday to make all my cookies and candies - although making my divinity this weekend if it's dry enough. Then they will go to Keith's Co-workers. Much love to you - Raquel XO

    1. Divinity is such a fussy thing! I remember making it at school! I hope yours turns out beautifully! You are very good to do all of this for Keith's co-workers! Kudos to you! I am still very much finding my feet here! Love and hugs, xoxo

  9. You are amazing at making your writings come alive. I love Christmas and all of it. I loved the little mice at the first; so cute and the thoughts too.
    YOur Christmas tree is adorable and I am sure it was sad not to be able to bring the items you have saved through the years. I do pray you hear how Mitzie is doing soon.
    My husband loves fruitcake and I wish I was good at making it.
    Children do make up the best part of Christmas. I'm sad we won't probably see any of our littlest ones this year. I am happy you will be with some of your family for Christmas, I know it will bring you great joy.
    I do think it is good to write to Todd. It's important for you to forgive. I'm sad that you have gone through all this. I do know at sometime you will see some of the purpose of it all.
    I know you have a forgiving heart; even though it will be hard to do.
    The house, kitchen and etc. are lovely. I do hope you find a place where you can do lots of your wonderful cooking.
    I do love the idea of reading all of Luke before Christmas.
    Blessings and hugs for you today!


Your comments mean the world to me, and while I may not be able to address each one individually, each one is important to me and each one counts. Thanks so much!