Saturday 28 May 2022

All Things Nice . . .


He moves with a ragged patch of light
Doing his chores about the stable way,
A blot o dancing yellow in the night
As back and forth he goes for sheaves and hay.

Whistling he moves about his humble chores,
The friendly stock, the stable warm and dim,
Long moving shadows play about the floors,
The horses softly neigh for oats to him.

The cattle stand beside the stanchions bare,
Yielding their snowy milk; its fragrant heat,
Rises like incense on the frosty air,
The bedding straw is gold beneath their feet.

A kitten rubs its face against his arm,
Purring its friendly trust; the dog is close,
Wagging his stubby tail in happy charm
His master's love the only heaven he knows.

Ah could we find more gracious life than this,
Full days of toil and lovely brooding night,
Good food and love and windows through the mist
And homes within a yellow patch of light.
~Edna Jaques, To a Man With a Lantern
Beside Still Waters

This poem was published in 1939, and that time was in the Highways to Reading book for Grade 5 in Canada and was also used in the schoolbooks of Scotland.

I am sitting here this morning wondering what children's reading books in school look like today.  Do they even have reading books?  Or do they read from tablets?  I have many fond memories of reading my Dick and Jane books at home to my mother at night when she would be helping me with my homework.  Mom was very good at helping us with our homework, although I did not really appreciate it at the time. How very blessed we were to have a mother who took time out from her very busy days to help us with things like this. 

 One of my great treasures is my Grandmother's school reader.  The Royal Readers 1. It was first published in 1902 by A&W McKinley in Halifax. My grandmother would have been five years old in 1902. We stayed with my grandparents for a time when we came back to Canada from Germany in late 1959 to 1960. My father was out in Manitoba with the armed forces waiting for a house for us and we were with my grandparents in Nova Scotia.

We had come across the Atlantic in November of 1959 on a Cunard Liner, the RMS Ivernia. 


I don't remember much about the voyage really. My mother was pregnant for my brother at the time and there was myself aged 4 and my sister would have been 1, so not a really fun voyage for mom. She was pretty seasick through the whole voyage and I know that I was ill with earache. Crossing the  Atlantic in November would have meant stormy seas much of the time.  I have vague memories of the pursers office but that could be my imagination.

At that time the liners would land in Montreal.  My parents had a car on board.  Upon debarkation we drove from Montreal to my paternal grandparents in Northern Quebec for a visit and then down to Nova Scotia. I remember my father going off the road in Northern New Brunswick. We walked for a while through what seemed like deep snow to my little four year old legs to a farm house while my father arranged for someone to come and pull him out.  I remember the farmer's wife putting my hands into warm water to thaw them out. They were frozen.  I think they also gave us something to eat.

We would have gotten to my grandparent's in late November. I am not sure when my father left to go to Manitoba. My great grandmother died on Christmas Eve that year, so my mother got to see her beloved Grammy Best before she passed and to spend some time with her. I just remember being chased out of her bedroom when she was dying. It was probably not a good place for a child to be and they wouldn't let my mother in the room because they felt it would affect the baby if she were there.

They had some funny ideas in those days.


I had a lovely time out with my sister and dad yesterday.  We were half an hour early for dad's appointment, but then the doctor was half an hour late getting us in. So we had a long wait there, but that's okay. We are patient people. Afterwards we went to the Cambridge convenience store and stocked up on a few things and then we had lunch at Jonny's after. We were all a bit peckish by then.  We just had half sized poutines.  Nice.

After that we went back to Dad's and Cindy refilled his hummingbird feeder, made his bed etc. while I sorted out his computer stuff.  

It was getting a bit late by then so we ended up not going to look at hanging baskets, but we did get to Goucher's and I picked up some rhubarb, so I may play with that today. We'll see how the day goes.


I try to stay as busy as I can most days. I find that it helps me a lot to keep my hands and mind occupied. If I have too much time to think I find that I feel very sad still, and I know that I have a life filled with abundance and good things, incredible blessings and I am grateful for all of them, I really am.  I just have this undercurrent of sadness which lies beneath all the joy.  Each night I pray for it to become a little less with every day that passes, and fall asleep on a pillow damp with tears.  

Some of it has to do with Todd and what all happened with us.  To be happily married and oblivious one day and have your life blown apart the next.  Its not an easy thing. Its to be expected I suppose, to feel sad about that  . . .  but a lot of my sadness has to do with my youngest son and daughter.  I try to be grateful that they are happy and settled and have nice homes, jobs, lives, etc. And I am grateful for that. All any mother ever wants is for her children to be settled and happy.  But at the same time I am incredibly sad that I do not have a part in any of that happiness.  I guess I will never come to understand it really.  In the meantime, however sad it all might make me, I am grateful that they are settled and seemingly happy.  It could always be worse, and so long as I have breath in me, I have hope.


I should have gone to the Temple this morning. We have a Temple in Halifax/Dartmouth. It is the Temple which I took my endowment in. I just have not been able to bring myself to go back to the Temple, which is quite unlike me. I always enjoyed going to the Temple. I loved to be there enjoying its peaceful and spiritual atmosphere, its beauty.  But whenever I think of it now I think about how I was utterly betrayed and lied to on what was probably one of the happiest days of my life. I think about the hopes and dreams I had, about eternal marriage and eternal partners and eternal vows and covenants and how utterly meaningless they were to the person who was kneeled across from me.  I know that anyone can lie their way through a Temple recommend and go into the Temple and knowing that has taken something away from the sacredness for me.  I don't know how to explain it.

I totally believe in the Temple covenants I made in the Temple. They were made with all the solemnness of my heart and with faith . . . . and with great hope.  I will go back some day.  I just need to get over this hurdle in my heart.   I will in time  . . . I guess it is still relatively early days. 


I had a really lovely facetime with my middle son last evening and got to talk to two of his boys.  He is building the most beautiful electric guitar.  He seems to find a great deal of peace and comfort in working with his hands. Oh how I love this middle son of mine and his kind and caring heart. I love all my children the same. They are each one unique and different.  When Doug was first born I remember the Doctor laying him on my chest and looking down into his eyes. He was not crying, just laying there quietly looking up at me and he had the most full head of hair I had ever seen on a baby. He never lost any of it.  I remember looking into his eyes and thinking this is a kind and gentle old soul.  He was so quiet and calm and at peace.  

When he was a toddler I used to wake him up in the mornings in a special way. I would go in with our cat and the cat would start treading on him and purring him. I would tell him the cat was singing a special song, "Good Morning Starshine." And then I would sing it to him. Happy memories are those. But children grow up and grow out of the idea of and belief in singing cats . . . 

But they never grow out of who they are in their hearts and he is still a kind and gentle old soul, who cares for his mother. 


I am hoping that maybe today I might get my Luna Lapin all put together and maybe cut out some clothes. So far I have only her legs put together and stuffed and my sister put her ears onto her head for me the other day when I was there.  I know it is a bit odd for an old woman like me to be playing with a rabbit, but it brings me much joy. I never had a lot of dolls when I was growing up and dolls are one of my absolute favorite things in the world. We should all embrace a little bit of what brings us joy when we can. Light.

Well the sun is coming out. The rain has stopped and I need to be getting on with my day. I have prattled on long enough this morning. 

I will leave you with a thought for the day  . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★

 *The real gift of gratitude is
the more grateful you are,
the more present you become.
~Robert Holden  •。★★ 。* 。 

In The English Kitchen today, Peanut Butter Pan Cookie.  This 10-inch cookie mixes and cooks right in the pan on top of the stove. It makes an excellent dessert when topped with some vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.

I hope you have a wonderful Saturday whatever you get up to! Don't forget!

═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════

And I do too! 


  1. Busy hands distracts the mind.I am a firm believer in this.Most of us live with things that make us sad..painful..wether it is sentiment or health.It's extremely hard to work around things but definitely busy hands are a great great tool.You are happier here.Todd is the past this is now.:)Your youngest children seem stubborn beyond belief.Hope they come around.Someone must know something..easier to fix what you know is broken right?

    1. Yes, you are very right Monique. None of us gets through this life unscathed. Some are just better at hiding their wounds than others. It is easier to fix when you know what is broken for sure. xoxo

  2. Busy hands, happy heart. We crossed the Atlantic on the Cunard Queen Elizabeth in 1956 and landed in New York City. Memories are cherished. Have a lovely Saturday.

    1. How interesting that we made the same journey, albeit to different ports and on separate ships in the same decade, albeit a few years apart! I don't have many memories, but I do remember our room. It was not fancy. Just bunks, a toilet and a sink. xo

  3. Thoughtful post. You’ve made a lovely life and home but of course, it’s hard not to ponder and think about the past, the good and not so good. Stay busy and hold your family close…you are so very loved by them…hopefully all will come around one day …sooner than later. Did that make sense? Well, happy weekend. xo, V.

    1. I try hard not to think about the past too much, but inevitably it sometimes creeps in. Early days yet I suppose. It does make sense! xoxo

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Thanks Elizabeth. I did get it, I am slow at responding, sorry! Yes my two oldest boys are treasures. xoxo


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