Wednesday Ponderings . . .

 

In our house we have a huge collection of music and dvd's both for film and television series.  We decided that this year we were going to make a conscious effort to listen to and watch more of it, so yesterday while I was puttering around the house we had this album on.  Todd was reading and I was puttering while the guitar music of Eric Clapton, Dire Straits, Prince, etc. wafted around our ears.  I said to Todd . . . "This is the music from when I was a teenager."  And it was . . . 

Music has the ability to transport you back in time to places and feelings you haven't thought of in a while.  It can make you feel very melancholy or perk you up . . .  along with every feeling in between.  I have always loved music and cannot imagine a life without the embroidery of music to pretty it up. 

 

There was a lot of good things about that era . . .  mostly the me being young bit . . . with all of my life ahead of me, mistakes not yet made, journeys not yet taken. I have often asked myself, if I had to do it all again would I? 

A part of me wants to say no, I would make wiser choices, but a larger part of me says yes, because I love my life now and the only way I have gotten the life I have now is because of the journey I have taken to get here . . .  and it was not all bad, there were some very sweet moments. 

 

I have had very poor taste in men for example . . . largely due to the fact that I always settled for less, not thinking I was worth more, but out of that bad taste came five lovely children and I would not give them up for the world. They are a part of my very sweetest of moments.

I have always been a spiritual gypsy, believing and searching, wanting answers to deep questions and ponderings.  Seeking to walk closer to God and with the Saviour.  I have flitted here and flitted there, never settling on any one thing until much later in life, the only constant through the years being my love of God and Jesus Christ.  I am happy and content with where I find myself now. I oftimes wish I had come to this place much sooner in life . . .  especially when I am in church and I see the families around me with children and grandchildren, and there is just Todd and I.  I miss my family.  I hate that they have been manipulated into thinking I am crazy for believing the things I do and choosing to worship the way I do . . .  but that is partly my own fault because I allowed it to happen.  Again,  a part of the journey from there to now.  And they have their own journey to make.

 

When I was a teenage girl, I was surrounded by a lot of positive images in the media of young women who were doing, being, becoming, achieving . . . . something great.  Why didn't I think I could do the same?  I thought my job was to graduate from highschool and then get married, that was how I was raised.  Education and Careers were for men because they would have to support a family one day . . . my sister and I were not encouraged to get any post high school education other than that which would keep us until we found a man to keep us.  It is a bit of a mystery in a way because my mother had worked from the time I was 10 years old, and had gotten as much education as she could get when she was younger . . .  and yet my sister and I were never encouraged or helped to become more, to achieve more.  All of my parent's eggs were put into my brother's basket, and it shows in the way each of our lives have panned out.  I sometimes wonder about what I could have achieved in life had I known how much I was capable of  much sooner in life.  But in the next breath, I wonder at all that I have managed to achieve, despite the limitations imposed upon me.

And this is where I am supposed to be,

right now, right here

doing what I am

doing. 

 

I am who I am and I like me,

and I like where I 

have ended

up.

And maybe there have been a lot of rocky moments along the way . . . and I have stumbled, and fallen flat on my face more than one time in the ensuing years, but I HAVE found many more pockets of joy in the journey than sorrows.  It could always, always have been worse.  I think a successful life is one in which if you  look back and ask yourself . . .  did I find joy in the journey??? and the answer is yes . . . . then you are one of the lucky ones. ☺

I am hoping that today I can get into my craft room and start to create something, anything.  I am happiest when I am doing that and I have done very little of that over this past year.  My days seem to flit by at the speed of light, which is somewhat scary because  . . .  I have far less time standing in front of me than I have sitting behind me.  I spent a good part of yesterday tidying and cooking and cleaning.  Today is play time.   I want to put some crafting in  my next book, but if I don't get doing some, there won't be any to put in. 

A thought to carry with you  . . . 

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
 *.˛.Life is like a camera . . . 

focus on what's important,

capture the good times,

develop from the negatives,

and if things don't work out

take another shot.

~Unknown  •。★★ 。* 。

Spiritual Enlightenment 

 

BOOK OF MORMON CORNER - Today's reading - 2 Nephi 32:1-9   

Question - What have you learnt from the reading today? How is the Holy Ghost part of our feasting upon the words of Christ?  

My Thoughts -  The words of Christ TELL us all things what we should do (verse 3). The Holy Ghost SHOWS us all things what we should do (verse 5). Both are needed if we are going to feast! Because feasting on the words of Christ is more than enjoying a good read, it's about changing us.
We study the words of Christ and the Holy Ghost shows us how to better live them. This is why scriptures or talks from prophets and apostles always apply to us, in every and in any circumstance we face. The words we read don't change. But the meaning they have for us can as the Holy Ghost teaches us what we need to learn from and do with them and how they fit into what we're experiencing at that time. 

 
I love that the scriptures tell us what to do, but the Spirit shows us how we can apply it in our daily living, into each of our varied circumstances. The counsel given in these verses to me is . . .  listen to the spirit, pray, act in the things you are taught, search out gospel knowledge, pray always. Reading today has given me great hope and reminded me that peace is a gift given for living righteously. Peace in my soul even among trials and difficult times.

Tomorrow's Reading (Day 74) - 2 Nephi 33:1-15 

Question - What stands out to you from Nephi's final testimony? What blessings have you seen come into your life when you have acted out of obedience and faith?

 

In the English Kitchen today . . .  Cheesy Rigatoni with Tuna and Broccoli.  This is rich and indulgent.  You can leave out the tuna and broccoli if you want and it will still be really delicious.  I added them on a whim.

Have a great Wednesday. Don't forget! 

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And I do too!