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˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★
So I told you I had joined that plenty of fish site. Well, I am glad I didn't invest any money in it. To date I've only been contacted by one fella and he was in his early 60's. Just a few one line messages and it turns out he is already in a relationship, but is looking for an older woman with fringe benefits. Give me a break. See? I told you. That's my fate. Always.
I wasted no time in telling him he was barking up the wrong tree.
I won't be investing in that site. I think I will just go back to the idea that I am on my own and am going to stay that way. I've dipped my toes into the water and I am not liking the temperature. Men are such jerks. C'est la vie.
Cindy and I are planning a trip up the valley to the farm markets on Friday. I am looking forward to that. Collecting squashes and apple cider. Just spending the time together. We wanted Eileen to go with us, but she has to pick up her hearing aids that day, so won't be able to join us. It's really our last chance to go before Eileen has her operation on Monday. I'm not sure how long the recovery/resting time will be from that and I won't be traveling very far from home once that happens. Not until she is all better.
I find myself crying over that every night. How could this beautiful baby girl of mine be in this situation? Would that it was me in her place. That I would expect. I'm old. I've lived my life. I'm just waiting for something to take me out if I am really being honest. Not my baby. She's only 48. Born into this world with disabilities already in place, hasn't she suffered enough in life? It somehow doesn't seem fair. But then, life is not fair. Not for lots and lots of people. Does anyone really deserve this? I think not.
Somehow we just get handed these cards in life and it is up to us how we deal with them. I am impressed with her courage. I am so proud of her. I wish that I could be with her on Monday. To hold her hand, to be there when she wakes up. But alas . . . not to be.
And I would be lying if a part of me doesn't feel like my ex is being his typical jerk self. Taking over the situation and not including me . . . again . . . locking me out of the room. He's been locking me out of the room since we separated, truth be told. This is nothing new. Over all these years, his attitude has been that anything to do with the children was none of my business. And, to be honest, I've let him treat me that way. I have never been a wave maker. Never. I just let people get on with it and bite my tongue. I had thought that we might be able to do this together.
If the step mom is there, I will be really seething. Sorry, but that's the truth. I'm only human. I can't help it.
In any case, Eileen will be coming here afterwards and I will be the soft space for her to land. Maybe that is more important. That she heals in an environment where she knows she is accepted and loved and comfortable.
I have come to realize late in life that I have always been a dreamer with my head in the clouds. With a hearty lust for life and boundless daydreams, but at the same time full of insecurities. I believed that life was one of happenstance and spontaneity. Like a television sitcom. Endlessly never-ending with the only constant being the wacky situations I would encounter on a daily basis and solve or get out of. Problems solved in half an hour, an hour at most and then I'd live happily ever after.
I've learned that, while serendipity has its place and can make life sweeter, life is really more about the minutia and routine and maintenance that gives it it's heft and value. The battery pack to a life well lived. There is a great comfort to be found in the routine and sameness of one day following the next in single file.
Its easy to let the mind wander when your hands are in dishwater, or taking the laundry out of the washer and popping it into the dryer, but following a routine is also an invitation to genuinely savour the moment given. Slowing down and losing ourselves in these slow soft minutes gives us the chance to reflect on the blessing that is ours in having a home to come back to at the end of the day, or having some cats to take care of, or that good book that is waiting for us to crawl into bed with it. A bag full of yarn and hooks waiting for us to create something new.
There is something quietly powerful about routine. The simple rhythms we return to day after day . . . morning light through the window, the first hot drink of the day, making the bed, tidying the kitchen . . . they become the threads that hold our days together. Routine isn't about perfection or productivity. It's about creating a life that feels steady, comforting, and beautifully our own.
Choosing small rituals with intention, we build a home and a space that supports us. We create pockets of peace in a world that often feels rushed. We remind ourselves that a beautiful life isn't composed of grand gestures, but from the gentle repetition of what matters most . . . care, gratitude, presence.
A beautiful life grows quietly in the everyday. In the things we do again and again, with love.
Although it is a holiday here today, I still have a busy day head of me. (Don't ask me what holiday it is, I have no idea.) I want to pop to the Avery's behind me and pick up some carrots. I don't have a vegetable in the house. And I have work to get done. Laundry to do. Minutia to carry me through another day of wandering through life. And then there is supper with the family at the Big Scoop later on. Memory making.
A thought to carry with you . . .
FOR TODAY, September 29th, 2026
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW ...
Some of the beautiful colours showing themselves at the end of my street. This year I hope I can get a photo looking down the street towards the mountain. That is the prettiest view. It is hard to believe that tomorrow is the last day of September, but there we are. It is. September has just whizzed by.
I AM THINKING ...
I joined Plenty of Fish yesterday on a whim. I felt sick right afterwards. There has been some interest but I'm not willing to pay any money to find out and I actually am not sure I am ready for this. Not even talking to a real man. It scares me too much.
I AM ALSO THINKING ...
A part of what scares me is my age, and also I am no bathing beauty. And also I have been lied to so many times I don't trust anyone, not male anyways. I also am having a hard time believing that anyone sincere would be interested in me. One time, many, many years ago I was spending the weekend in Windsor with my sister. She wanted to go out to this hotel bar, so I went along with her. She had lots of hot guys hitting on her, but the only guy who hit on me was a geriatric Chinese business man in town for the weekend. Case closed.
I AM GRATEFUL FOR ...
Where do I start? We are going to be treated to the most stunning scenery over the next few weeks until we get a good storm that will shake all of the leaves from the trees. Prayer. I am so grateful for the many prayers offered on Eileen's behalf. I am so grateful for my faith which helps to keep me going. My home. My family. My friends. I just feel incredibly blessed.
I AM ALSO GRATEFUL FOR GRIEF ...
I thought I had already processed all my grief, but I have realized over these past weeks that I am only just now beginning to process it. And I have been crying every night when I am saying my prayers. I think these last almost six years I have been running ahead of it, trying to stay out of it's way, but I think it has finally caught up with me. But perhaps that is a good thing because maybe now I can start to put it all behind me. Right now I feel that if you scratched my surface it would all just come pouring out. Like I could cry, and cry, and cry.
IN THE KITCHEN ...
Quick and Cheesy, Pepperoni Pizza Pull-Apart Bread. Now that's a delicious mouthful. This was very simple to make, quick too and very VERY delicious. Its like Monkey Bread, Pizza-style. We did not have a dip with it, but you could serve it with ranch, blue cheese, Italian, etc. dressing. Whatever you think you might enjoy. I topped it with pepperoni, but you can top this tasty bread with whatever you like and enjoy!
ON MY "TO COOK" LIST ...
These Molasses Cream Pie Cookies look awfully good. From Just So Tasty.
THIS I BELIEVE ...
I am sure we have all had people like this in our lives. I hope that I am never this kind of person.
SOMETHING THAT IS NICE ...
The trick is not to let life break you, because if it can, it will. Don't let it. I hope that I will always have a soft heart and to be able to capture the goodness out of every day and hang onto it.
SOMETHING ELSE THAT IS NICE ...
He knows the end from the beginning and is already putting things in place in your life to help you deal with whatever is to come. I firmly believe that to be true. I have seen it in my own life.
I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO ...
October. I love October.
I AM WANTING TO CREATE ...
Granny socks . . .
A granny wreath . . .
A granny tree skirt. I couldn't find the source. Sigh . . .
Granny square Christmas Baubles . . .
Crochet Popcorn Garland . . .
SOMETHING I ENJOY ...
Cat memes. Some of them are quite funny.
SOMETHING ELSE I ENJOY ...
The Scriptures.
I AM READING ...
Cozy chairs to curl up in. I think I have wanted one since I was a child and heard the Friendly Giant talking about them.
Pillows with ruffles . . .
Cozy little writing nooks . . .
Red and white . . .
House magnets . . .
MAKES ME SMILE ...
This was one of those facebook meme thingies. I am supposed to belong in the 70's Disco age, Love, Peace and all that. I did like the picture though, and it makes me want to grow my hair again, although there is not much I can do to my face. Not that I would be willing to do or pay for, at any rate.
SOMETHING TO WATCH ...
"The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside from a generous hand. But who gets excited by a mere penny? It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won't stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted with pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. What you see is what you get." ~Anne Dillard
A few of the small and wonderful things which bring untold joy into my life. It's the small things in life which truly mean the most. Simple abundance . . . it's the best.
I might be alone here, but I love these shorter days and longer nights. I like the coziness of it. Feeling safe and hunkered down in my wee little house. There is no place else I would rather be.
Weekend with Eileen. We enjoy each other's company so much. We talk, a lot. We eat some good food and some naughty food. We always watch a good movie. This weekend it was Boyhood, which neither of us had seen before. It was a long film, so we watched it over two days. I loved that they used the same actors as they aged to portray all of the characters. It took 14 years to make this film and it was really, really good.
Sunday church. I love going to church on Sundays. It is an opportunity to really recharge my spiritual battery. Partaking of the sacrament, singing the hymns, the testimonies, talk, lessons. Its all good, and I love every minute of it, but then you already know that because I say it every week.
It was hard during Covid when we couldn't go to church and partake of the sacrament each week. I remember the first time back, when I was finally able to, I cried. Yes, it does mean that much to me.
Little visits to the egg farm. I love going up there and seeing what they have in their little farm shop, besides eggs. We went on Saturday afternoon, Cindy, Eileen and I. We had had them save some bread for us, White and Oatmeal Brown. I also picked up some brownies fresh out of the oven, bought a large chicken for Thanksgiving and got two chicken legs for Eileen and I to enjoy. (SO good.) We had already been there, the day before, Cindy and I, to get our eggs. The Mr. told us he was going to have fresh bread on Saturday so we just had to go back and get some. He had it reserved for us. That's what I like about them. You can message them and they will put things aside for you. And, they will also special make things for you if you ask them in advance as well.
Family times, they ARE the best of times. No family dinner this weekend, but there will be next weekend. But we did have Wednesday dinner out and then Eileen and I got to share two meals this weekend. So all good.
Enough. I have enough. Of everything. That is a true blessing that I am eternally grateful for.
And those are my small and wonderful things for this week. I am truly blessed.
A thought to carry with you . . .