Hmmm . . . .

  

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I thought this was a beautiful cup.  It doesn't look like a normal cup and saucer with all of its jagged edges and imperfections. I'm not even sure how one would drink from it without creating a bit of a mess. Its unusual, unique . . . one of a kind. 

Are we not all broken? Is it not all of our weaknesses, failures, shortcomings, frailties that make each one of us unique?  Are we not all beautiful in our own individual ways? Are we not all beggars . . .

 

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It is our brokenness which helps us to connect with others. Each of us are incomplete. We stand in our own spaces on this journey towards the light.  And yet our brokenness has the capacity to widen our circles as we reach out to others who have a shared commonality of being imperfect beings. It is this giving and receiving which ties us together. How I have dealt with my brokenness helps me to be compassionate towards others, enables me to empathise, to care. In my brokenness I can freely admit that perhaps I cannot do this on my own, but together we can make it through this minute, hour, day . . .  life  . . .   

It is my brokenness which connects me with my God.

The scriptures are littered with broken people.  Moses was a murderer, a man with a grave speech impediment and yet, God used him to free a nation. King David, also a murderer, a man with many weaknesses, an adulterer, and yet his words . . .  even today, written in his brokenness . . .  lift many into a closer relationship with God. Peter, he denied Christ three times, and yet became the head of the new church.  Saul of Tarsus, murdered and tortured numerous Christians . . . he became Paul, a new man, an inspired man, instrumental in the spreading the hope of the Gospel he once decried and persecuted. 

Over and over again, God's beauty shines brightest through those who need Him the most. 

 

I've been thinking a lot about an old friend of mine named Judy this week.  When I was first married to my ex, Judy and her boyfriend Danny stayed with us for a time. They were ferocious with their feelings for each other. They hated and loved with equal abandonment.  They did get married eventually.  Like my ex, Danny was also in the military. Danny and his entire family were childhood friends of ours. His older brother was my ex's best friend and still is to this day.  Danny and Judy were posted to Germany eventually. They had two children, a boy and a girl.  While they were in Germany, Judy fell in love with a German bus-driver.  Their marriage fell apart.  To be honest I wasn't surprised.  Danny had always been brutal and a bully. In my heart I did not blame her for leaving.

Danny used Judy's guilt over what she had done to take the children away from her and brought them back to Canada, leaving Judy behind in Germany. 

It was many years later before I would see Judy again.  I ran into her at my oldest daughter's high school graduation. She was there to watch her son graduate, standing anonymously at the back of the auditorium amongst the lookers-on who had no family connections to the graduates, being treated like a pariah. An outsider.  My heart went out to her, and I remember talking with her and hugging her. I felt her pain at being an outsider looking in on what should have been a joyous moment for her, but for the bitterness of a man who really never deserved her in the first place and who had been brutal and mysogynistic towards her for all of their married life together. 

I had no way of knowing then that just a few years later I would be standing in the same spot, in the same position, as an outsider at what should have been a joyous moment. 

I'm still standing on the outside. Isn't it ironic, don't you think . . .  

Its like rain on your wedding day.

Its a free ride when you've already paid. 

Its the good advice you just didn't take.

and who would have thought, it figures  . . .  

Life is a funny thing  . . . 

Anyways, I've been thinking about Judy this week and wondering what happened to her.  I never did see her again.  I saw some of her children's photos on FB this past week and she was not in any of them. Not with her grandchildren or anything. My heart broke for her all over again. You never know which experience in your life will be preparing you for what's to come  . . . .  

 

Sometimes its a good thing we cannot see into the future. If we could, would many of us want to go there?  Squeeze all the joy that you can from your nows. 

I miss  my mom with all my heart every day, and sometimes when I think its not possible . . .  I miss her even more. 

 

In The English Kitchen today . . .  Grandmother's Steamed Brown Bread, a small batch recipe.  Seriously tasty.  

I've lost about 20 followers on IG now.  Because of the lack of a black square? Hmmm . . .

Have a wonderful Sunday. Be happy.  Don't forget  . . . 

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And I do too!