Saturday 29 March 2008

Tears, the Soul's Balm



"We have but one life - whether we spend it laughing or weeping." ~ Unknown

I would like to be able to tell you that I have spent most of my life laughing, and that's a really nice thought, but that would be a lie, and I could never deceive you. The truth is, that I have cried plenty of tears in my lifetime, for one reason or another, and I have also done a lot of laughing. I have laughed and cried at the same time even . . .

Life should be a balance of both. A good laugh is magic for the soul but so are tears. I don't think it's healthy to hold them in. Releasing them washes our soul clean. They can be an expression of remorse, sorrow, anger and joy. Tears are a release, and they are our body's way of making it known how we feel deep down in our hearts. Tears are therapeutic.



I had a father who was not afraid to cry. He cried at movies. He cried when he heard a sad story. He cried when he was unhappy. He cried with laughter. I think that was a good thing. It taught us as children that he was human and that it was okay to express yourself and let other's know how you were feeling. Emotions and feelings were not something that we had to hide and pretend we didn't have.

Laughter is good medicine, but I also believe there is great value in weeping. I have cried many tears because of a friend's unhappiness or misfortune, both on my own and with the friend. There is something very special about being able to hold a friend, and to cry together. Sorrow shared is only half the burden . . . and a burden shared is more easily borne.



I'm a great weeper at movies, and I have even been known to cry when I see certain commercials on the telly. It shows I have a heart. It doesn't matter how many times I see the film "Old Yeller." I always cry at the end. Big heaving sobs. I know what is coming, and it touches my heart anyways. I cried when Sally and Kevin broke up on Coronation Street years and years ago. It broke my heart, even though I knew they weren't real people. I cry when I read through people's blogs and discover their problems, both health and otherwise. My heart feels for each of them.

I cry when I am angry. The words can't come out. I am not good at expressing myself verbally. I get all tongue tied and twisted, and so . . . I just cry.



When I was a little girl and it rained, I thought God and the angels were crying, and that was a special feeling. It made me feel good to know that God cared about the sorrows of this world. This life here on earth is not called a veil of tears for nothing . . . and to know that He watches over us and cares is comforting to me. I know that He could take away all the pain if He wanted to, but then . . . how would we learn to be compassionate and understanding and to serve . . . to become more like Him.

I cry when I see children or animals being abused. My heart breaks for their tender souls and the pain they must experience. I want to kiss all their boo boos better and bring them all home with me, and wipe away their tears.



I cry at the thought of my Saviour's love for me, for us . . . the magnitude of it gets to me every time . . .

I cry when I'm happy . . . great big soppy tears of joy. What a wonderful thing that is, to be able to cry tears of joy.

I cry with regret and remorse . . . sorrow at things I have done and shouldn't have. Tears for the pain I may have caused others. I never purposely seek to hurt another and it pains me to think that I have. It is good to feel these feelings though. It is a hard person who never feels remorse.

I guess I'm just an old softie at heart, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It's ok to be soft and it's ok to have a heart and to feel for others. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd rather that, than to have a heart of stone . . .

Yesterday I gave you a delicious recipe for chili sauce and today I am going to show you something delicious that you can do with it. Sometimes I spoon it over meatloaf during it's last half hour of baking, or stir a bit of it into macaroni and cheese before it's baked . . . deliciously moreish. This though . . . is one of my very favourite ways of using it. Another one from out of my old blue binder of magic . . . tried and trues . . . family favourites, the ones they ask for time and time again.



*Heavenly Hot Ham Buns*
Makes 4

This may sound an unusual combination but trust me when I say that all the flavours meld beautifully into a wonderful taste sensation. These are perfect for a casual supper in front of the telly while you watch the big game. Heck these are good anytime! I like to serve them with some coleslaw and chips.

1/2 pound cubed cooked ham
1/2 pound cubed cheddar cheese (I would recommend medium to strong for flavour)
3 TBS chopped green olives
1/2 cup chili sauce (preferably homemade, see my recipe)
1/2 cup good mayonnaise (I use Hellman's)
4 large hamburger buns

Pre-heat the oven to 200*C/400*F. Slice the hamburger buns in half, but not quite all the way through. Set aside.

Mix the ham, cheese, olives, chili sauce and mayonnaise together in a bowl. Make sure they are well combined. Divide the mixture evenly between the four buns and then press the tops of the buns over top of the filling. Wrap each one in aluminum foil leaving a bit of airspace around the bun, but making sure each packet is closed entirely. Place them on a baking tray.

Bake in the pre-heated oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until the filling is hot and the cheese is melted. Remove from the oven and let sit for a few minutes before unwrapping and serving.

10 comments:

  1. How true your words are Marie, crying is not a sign of weakness, I know that when I am going through tough times if I do not cry I can feel the tension building up. When we cry we release that tension and let it go, in the same way that laughing relaxes you. We all need to laugh and cry more in life, we are only human after all. Those buns look really good, I am going to make that chilli sauce today.....mmmmm will have to get some ham now too.

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  2. Marie, that looks like heart attack food, but oh so good. Every now and then I guess one just has to forget about fat and calories and have a treat like that. Yum.

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  3. Like your amazing talented daughter, I too could win a medal: I could cry for England! At the silliest things too, or even for no apparent reason. Matter of fact I could cry right now because I am trying to install McAfee and can't get past even the first screen and I already tried it 3 times and my friend says you have to get rid of any trace of Norton from the system or it won't let you in and I don't know how and I want some chocolate and there isn't any and - oh...boo-hoo!

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  4. oh, Marie!

    Those ham buns look lovely. Definitely a try sometime soon. Tears are indeed a language God understands. I do not cry easily, but when I do I feel so much better. Have a great weekend!

    Raquel from Recipezaar

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  5. Marie...you sure have a way with words! Just like you, I too am a softie and believer of tears (not the crocodile kind) and one of my favourite verses is "Jesus wept"-it proves tears are ok! PS: them buns look goood :-) Shauneen

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  6. I agree, it is good to cry. I've been married to my husband for almost 30 years, and the first time I heard him cry or seen him cry was when our dog died two weeks ago. It's true, it's far easier to cry, and less painful, than holding it all in. It does the soul good to let it out, and not to hide it from those closest to you. Men need to do it more often. They might live longer! bea

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  7. This was a lovely post. I'm a crier. For every emotion! I was also inspired by your recipe and made my own version tonight. Your buns looked so fresh I even went out on a limb and made those from scratch to. Thanks for sharing. It was nice and hearty. Suzy

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  8. Good Morning Marie :) I agree with you about tears... I cry at most everything that touches my heart, joyful or sorrowful..doesn't matter. I also agree that it's okay for men to cry, today's culture (at least here in the U.S. of A.) society has brought males up to believe that tears are weak ~ they aren't. I'd much prefer for a male to feel sure enough in himself to not be afraid to show this emotion, I think even more highly of him if he does ~ makes him human. Thank you for the recipe. Have a great day! Hugz* Teresa
    http://journals.aol.com/stetsonsfyre/remembering-to-exhale/

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  9. I cry much more than I would like, particuarly at sappy movies. Particularly if there's dogs involved. It's so bad I tell people I can only see movies with "happiness,puppies and sunshine." Invariably, I will end up leaking tears of joy as the music swells and my heart bursts and Ben shakes his head and mumbles about how I'm crazy.

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  10. I find it hard to cry in my everyday life but I cry like a baby at movies, books, commercials, TV shows~I'm a hot mess! :)

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