Finding Contentment in Who We Are

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.” ~Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Sometimes I think women are their own worst enemies. Men think that we go to all the trouble of wearing makeup, dressing nicely, having our hair done etc. for them, but really, truth be known . . . it’s mostly for the benefit of other women. We just cannot stand the thought of another woman looking at us and thinking silently to herself, or out loud to a friend . . . “My goodness did you see that? She sure has let herself go!” Oh sure, there is a tiny bit of ourselves that likes to look good for a man, but mostly it is for other women . . . That’s why there are huge sales on these magazines like Hello, Glamour and Heat. You know, the sort of reading material that effortlessly blends sermons on how to improve your self esteem with double-page spreads of air-brushed 16-year-olds that we all end up thinking we have to look like, but never possibly could, mixed with bitchy spying on the latest celebrities, whom spend a fortune looking the way they do and whom we all end up thinking we have to look like as well!

There is a huge myth flying around that you can have it all . . . career, family, happy and fulfilling relationships, clean and tidy homes, etc. I call it the Superwoman myth, because, just like the Superwoman of the comic books, she just doesn’t exist other than somewhere in somebody’s imagination. I think it’s very , very rare that you can have all those things successfully. One of them always seems to suffer at the expense of something else.



Not too long after the birth of my fifth child, I allowed myself to be cajoled into going to work full time. I had been a stay at home mom up to that point, and everything had run rather smoothly. The first woman that I hired to babysit my wee one ended up being a bit unbalanced. Thankfully I figured that one out before anything untoward happened, and was able to find a loving and kind woman, with a boy of the same age, to watch him while I was at work. I was up at 5:30 every morning and to work by 6:30, so my oldest boy had to make sure his sisters and brother got off to school ok, and the baby to the sitters. He was 16 at the time and more than just a little resentful of having to do all that, and really, it was not fair for us to expect him to do all of that. It was not until years later that I found out the horrible truth, that he had left most of that responsibility to his 11 year old sister. I was home every day by 3:30, so that was good, because I could be there for when the children got home from school, but I have to confess that I fell into bed with exhaustion by 8:30 every night. Those few hours in-between getting home and going to bed having been filled with doing laundry, cleaning, cooking and doing my bookwork for the day (we owned our own business), not to mention baking my muffins and making my sandwiches for the next day as well. (it was a coffee shop) I am quite sure, in looking back, that those few hours were not quality time spent with the children. I did this for two years and I can assure you that any financial gain we may have experienced, was certainly not worth the ground we lost together as a family. It took quite a number of years to get that back, if indeed we ever totally did. If I had to do it all over again, I would never have tried to work full time at all. It just wasn't worth it, although I do know that there are hundreds of women out there who just don't have the option of making that choice, and my heart goes out to them.



It’s taken me a long time to realize that trying to look like the Victoria Beckhams and Madonna’s of this world is a lost cause for me. It just ain’t gonna happen on my budget, nor do I want to spend most of my time in the self involvement that it takes to look that way. They literally must have to spend most of their waking hours exercising, and primping, not to mention a small fortune. There is so much more to do in life that can bring us so much more fulfilment and happiness, than dwelling on oneself and how you may or may not look to the outside world. I’d rather content myself with working on my insides and becoming a better person.

I have come to the conclusion that I just cannot do everything, and do it all well. I can do some of the things I do really well, and some not so well, and that’s ok. I have learned to prioritize and decide which are the things in my life that are the most important and which really deserve my fullest attention. God and family come tops of my list and then comes my job, ( which is very important obviously, as I am the main breadwinner) and finally everything else. If some things don’t get done today, then I don’t panic. It’s not really all that important. I dress neatly and tidily, and I keep myself clean. I do wear a bit of makeup, but I don’t obsess on any of it. I have learned to be content with how I look and what I have. If Todd is happy, and I am happy, then nothing else matters, and that’s as it should be. I take great joy in the simple things of life and I have them in great abundance. I am a simple woman, and very content to be such.

This was an article I wrote on my muses back in January of this year. I'm trying to move a few of my better pieces over here to Oak Cottage. Nothing has changed since then . . . I'm still a simple woman!

Finally, my Make Me Bake challenge for the week! French Canadian Sugar Pie. There's many versions of this pie about and this is mine. I got it from the greatest pioneer ever of French Canadian Cookery, the late Madame Jehane Benoit. She was one of the very first Canadians to have a cookery program on the television, back in the late 60's. I can well remember watching the grainy black and white images of a rather pleasantly plump and friendly lady cooking on a show my mother would watch called Take 30. I wanted to do exactly what she was doing and here I am! (albeit not on the telly!) I scribbled this recipe down once, and it's been in my blue binder ever since! I can't tell you the number of times I have baked this pie, always to great accolades!



*Sugar Pie* (Tarte au Sucre)
Makes one 9 1/2 inch pie

There's probably as many versions of this pie as there are bakers to bake it. This is a particularly delicious version, which is somewhat similar to the Amish Shoofly pie, the commonality being that they both use a large quantity of streusal like crumbs to help thicken the pie and form a deliciously crunchy layer on top. This is seriously good cooking!

1 prepared single pie crust (see recipe below)
1 cup plain flour
3/4 cup firmly packed soft light brown sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
6 TBS cold butter, cut into bits
1 cup pure maple syrup (Canadian gold!)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 large egg, room temperature
1 large egg yolk, room temperature (freeze the white for later use)
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

If you haven't done so already, prepare the pastry and refrigerate it until it's firm enough to roll it out. Pre-heat the oven to 200*C/400*F.

On a lightly floured surface, roll the pastry into a 13 inch in diameter circle with a floured rolling pin. Carefully place it into a 9 1/2 inch deep pie tin without stretching it, and using your knuckles to carefully ease it into all the corners. Trim and flute the edge. Place a large circle of baking parchment into the centre of the pie crust and then fill it with rice. (I keep a jar of rice specifically for this purpose in my larder. I use the same one over and over again) Bake in the pre-heated oven for 15 minutes, then remove from the oven and carefully remove the parchment full of rice and let cool. (Once the rice is cooled I just slide it from off of the parchment back into the jar to use another time). Reduce the oven temperature to 180*C/350*F.

To make the filling, combine the flour, brown sugar, salt and cinnamon in a large bowl. Add the butter and cut it into the dry mixture using a pastry blender until it is broken into very small pieces. Begin to use your hands and rub the mixture together between your fingertips until you have crumbs that will clump together when you firmly press them together. Set aside.

In a small pan, gently heat the maple syrup until it is slightly warmer than body temperature. Remove from the heat and pour it into a large beaker. Whisk in the baking soda. Whisk in the egg and the egg yolk, making sure the mixture is well combined. Whisk in the vanilla.

Place half of the crumb mixture into the partially baked pie shell. Carefully pour the maple syrup mixture over top, then scatter the remaining half of the crumbs over all. Set the pan on a large baking sheet that you have lined with aluminum foil (just in case!) Place in the oven (on a centre rack) and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, rotating the pie halfway through the baking. The filling should have puffed considerably and turned dark golden brown. Don't be afraid if the filling seems a little bit loose. All those crumbs in the filling will absorb a great deal of the moisture of the pie and thicken it up even more as it cools.

This pie should be served slightly warm, or at room temperature with a huge dollop of softly whipped cream!