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You're welcome . . . what a lovely phrase,
To greet you at the journey's end,
An open door -- a table set
The tender handclasp of a friend,
Drawing you in to warmth and light,
Giving you shelter from the night.
You're welcome -- how could heaven coin,
A sweeter word, a lovelier thought,
A warmth surging in your heart,
The glint of tear drops swiftly caught,
The glow of friendship tried and true,
Warming the heart and soul of you.
You're welcome -- sitting at her hearth,
The doors all shut, the curtains drawn
An understanding deep and true,
(You wonder where your worry's gone),
For troubles shared are cut in half,
And loads are lighter when we laugh.
When I near heaven . . . oh may I hear
That lovely phrase, you're welcome dear.
~Edna Jaques, You're Welcome
Roses in December, 1944
"God gave us memories . . . that
we might have roses in December."
Well, I had a very unexpected turn of events yesterday that was not anticipated. I had gone out shopping with my sister later in the morning. We went to the fabric store first. I had a few bits I wanted to pick up there and then we went to Giant Tiger. I found myself a couple of shirts that I got really marked down. Cotton. So they will probably require ironing, but that's okay. I thought they would be good just for wearing around the house and they were only $11 each. I picked up a few other little bits as well. Then we went to Sobey's, which is a grocery store. We toddled around there and all of a sudden I needed to go to the loo really bad. My bladder felt like it was to bursting.
I don't really like using public loo's. Most can be a bit nasty, however the one in Sobey's is not too bad. While in the loo I started feeling really unwell. I came over hot and sweaty and had a pressure on my chest that didn't feel normal. So we paid for our groceries and left to go back to mine. It did not abate, so by the time we got into my house, we called for an ambulance. Yes . . . again. They came and did some tests and then recommended I go to hospital. They couldn't find anything untoward, but felt it was better to be safe than sorry. So off I went. This was about 1:30.
They gave me nitro under the tongue and tried three times to put in a picc line. They could not get one in and I have some really nice bruises today to prove it, lol.
What followed was a very long stint at the hospital in Kentville. I had several series of blood tests, about 6 hours apart. I also had a chest x-ray. They did a CT scan as well. They were able to rule out anything involving my heart. (Which was a relief I have to say.) Everything checked out normal. The CT scan did show a spot on one of my lungs, so they have recommended I get another one in a year's time. (That is a bit worrisome to me, but hey ho, it isn't urgent or they would have done more tests right then and there.)
I ended up home about 9:30 last night. Cindy drove up to be with me and was there about 6:30 or so. I was so grateful to have her with me. She is such a good friend and sister. I don't think she can ever know how very much I appreciate her, but I hope that she does. It was a bit scary driving all that way home in the dark, but she did it. (Long winding country roads that deer can pop out of at any time.)
I am so thankful to have family that care about and love me so much, and I am so thankful that I have access to a good health care system. (I will remind myself of that when I get the ambulance bill, lol.) I am also grateful that nothing was really wrong. So, so, so grateful. Not that I am afraid to die, but that I am not ready to die. I have things to do first. I need to make a list and get them done.
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What a lovely bedroom.
The woman in the cubicle next to me ended up being a lady I used to know from church. Glenna and I used to pick her up on Sunday mornings. She doesn't come out any longer. She has quite a few mental problems actually and it a bit like a tinder box. You never know when she is going to explode. She went off a few times when we were there, but Cindy and I were able to calm her down by showing her pictures of our cats and she showed us pictures of hers. I am not sure why she was there, it was none of my business really. But I was glad that I was able to distract her for the time at least that we were there. I think those nurses are very patient people.
One thing I was thinking about the other day was about how "Eating Out" used to be an occasion. It was very much NOT an every day occurrence, and people used to dress up to go out to eat. I can remember too, having to dress up to go on an airplane. Such things were considered to be very special and were never treated casually. I believe my mother even used to dress up to go to the grocery store, perhaps not in her Sunday best, but she would never have dreamed of going anywhere in the same clothing that she wore around the house to do her household chores. That would have been seen to be very poor etiquette.
In some ways I miss those days . . . when people were not so casual . . . but in other ways I am grateful that we need not be so formal about most things, like grocery shopping.. But dining out? It would be nice if we did not treat it as such a common day occurrence I think. If it were treated more like the occasion that it is. And maybe that is more about our attitude towards it than our dress or deportment. Maybe we need to be more invested in these special times. Like Wednesday night dinner with Dad. That is an occasion. We are building memories, and while we may not be very likely to really dress up for it, perhaps it would be better to take a more "its an occasion" approach to it. There will come a time when we won't be able to do this anymore. Dad will be gone, and as much as we would like to be out to dinner with him, we won't be able to do so. I need to start treating such things as more of an "occasion" me thinks . . . .
Actually, each day we are given is a bit of an occasion. I know I am guilty often of taking my days for granted. But, in reality, each day I am given is a gift. I need to treat my days with more respect and to try to enjoy as much of each day that I can. After all, it is very true, today is a day that will never come again. I need to stop and smell the "coffee" as it were (I don't drink coffee), but you get my drift. I need to acknowledge the blessing that "this day" is and to really appreciate the gifts that each day brings to my table. As I am fond of saying, every day may not be a "good day" but there is surely something good and pure in each day. And each day we are given should be celebrated for the gift that it is.
I need to do that more. To not waste a second of any day I have been given . . . by regretting things, or feeling remorse over things I might have done better or differently . . . by dwelling on the past and the things I cannot change, the things which have hurt me, or the people.
Instead I should try to be more grateful. Grateful for the journey I have taken and for the lessons I have learned along the way, even the very hard ones. I do try to do that for the most part, but I do have my "woe is me" moments. I need to stop that. I should not be wasting my "present" on things I cannot change.
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"A house is who you are, not who you ought to be."
~Jill Robinson
Do you enjoy your home and what it says about you? I try to. I can be a bit cluttery at times and that really can annoy me. The personalities of our homes are accurate barometers that reflect where we have been (through our surroundings) and what's going on in our lives. I don't like clutter. It drives me up the wall. I do tend to let things pile up. I will have a sort out and vow not to let things pile up again, and for a time I will actually do really well at that, but . . . inevitably I start to fall back into old habits and things start to pile up again.
I have little corners of my home that I really enjoy and that bring me immense pleasure. My bookcase that has the chintz curtain covering the books and the toadstool bird house on the top. There is a porcelain Jenny Wren in front of the bird house and a smaller toadstool light that Cindy and Dan gave me for Christmas last year, along with a lantern holding a candle and a few small fake potted plant. When I look at that it brigs me joy.
So does my bookcase by the front door with my father's clock on it and Luna Lapin, the red geranium . . . the chest freezer in my bedroom that has the hand crocheted doily that I made for my mother on it, topped with the rose decorated ceramic pitcher and basin that I made for my mother many years ago.
I love the table next to my sofa that has a decorative throw covering it, with my little red carriage clock, which sits atop a decoratively placed pile of children's books. I bought that clock at a yard sale and it brings me joy.
The art I chose to put onto my walls, my lovely dolls, tea pots, etc. I have filled my home with small pockets of joy. I like to think that it shows my personality, but I also don't like to think that my personality says "clutter." I would much prefer that is says, "lived in."
Days like yesterday are reminders to me about how very precious my time is, my family, my home . . . and how very much I don't want to let any of it go unmarked or unnoticed or unappreciated.
And now with that I best get on with my day. It is the first day of General Conference today and I want to be ready for that. Also my favorite apples are at the Farmer's Market and I really want to go and grab a bag before Conference starts.
I will leave you with a thought for the day . . .
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門 ★
*The world's big and I want to
have a good look at it before it gets dark.
~John Muir ° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
Understandably there is nothing really new in my kitchen today so in the place of that I am sharing an older recipe for Sour Cream Blueberry Muffins. These are fabulous muffins. Bakery quality muffins you can bake at home, downsized recipe for the smaller family. Moist and filled with loads of lovely berries. You could do a lot worse for yourself than to bake these!
I hope that you have a beautiful weekend. I know mine will be filled with purpose and inspiration because of General Conference. I am really looking forward to the talks. Be safe. Be happy. Be blessed. Don't forget!
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And I do too!
Oh my.. ambulance and all..twice in one week you are not well..Im not a doctor so I have no diagnosis but I sure hope these events are a done deal.Cindy is an angel.I have a friend like that.She has moved..many yrs ago but she used to live across the street an angel..Always caring for people.In a real way.
ReplyDeleteYes I love our home.And am grateful.
Take care Marie:)
I do not know what I would do without Cindy. Not only is she my best friend, but she is such a wonderful support to me. Love her so much. Thanks Monique! xoxo
DeleteWord of warning, have the spot on your lung checked out somewhere else, by another doctor. Years ago I had a chest xray for bronchitis, the technician thought they saw an odd mark on the right side of my chest, then said it was probably nothing. A couple of years later I was diagnosed with breast cancer on the right side. Went through chemo and surgery, along with some natural and vitamin remedies, recovered and have been thank God cancer free for ten years. You can't always trust one opinion, always err on the side of caution. Now my husband's niece and nephew both have pancreatic cancer, they are both young in their early forties. The rates of cancer are going up among all demographics for a variety of reasons that most of the public is not privy to.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I am going to be seeing my family Doctor next week and will address all of my concerns with him! I am happy to read that you are cancer free for ten years now! God bless and may it continue! xoxo
DeleteSuch an ordeal to go through Marie, so glad you are okay, but something must be causing these attacks, and it is needed to get to the bottom of it. Take care, appreciate all that you have (which you do) relax, cuddle with those kitties, and have a restful weekend.
ReplyDeleteI really want to get to the bottom of it as well Linda. It is no fun and all those ambulance rides cost big bucks. Thanks Linda! xoxo
DeleteSo sorry for your stressful day. Hope you enjoy your weekend and get some R&R. Take good care.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much JWalk! xoxo
DeleteWow, Marie, that was a scary day you had. Glad all is well with your heart, and that Cindy could be there for you. I had a similar episode years ago, sweating, dizziness, chest pain... all the classic heart attack signs... and it ended up being my gallbladder! Take care, good to keep on top of things, and hope they can find the cause. Thanks for sharing the blueberry muffin recipe, I believe I'll make those today!
ReplyDeleteIt's no fun for sure Becky! Thank you! I hope you enjoy the muffins! xoxo
DeleteOh, Marie, another health scare for you. Hopefully, they will be able to find out what is causing them. Cindy is an angel here on earth. Please take care of yourself. Enjoy your General Conference. My email is still not up and running. Hopefully, soon. Love and hugs, Elaine (in Toronto).
ReplyDeleteThanks Elaine. It was quite scary for sure, yes, thank goodness for Cindy. I think we may have to resort to snail mail maybe! That would be fun! Love and hugs, xoxo
DeleteWell, your body is speaking, Marie...do what you can to find someone who can figure this out!! Mine is fritzing out more too...I am seeing the doc Monday...though not sure where it will end up. I am glad you are ok for the moment at least!! I think maybe the hard sad places in our lives are having an effect, too. It is hard not to think on them too much. The poem today was so lovely...thanks for sharing and do get to feeling better!!
ReplyDeleteHUGS, Elizabeth xoxo
I am looking forward to seeing my family Doctor next week Elizabeth. Hopefully we can get to the root of the problem. Its no fun for sure! Hugs, xoxo
DeleteDear Marie, as I read over your activities before you became ill in the loo, it seemed like about three hours of shopping time altogether. Did you drink any water during that time? Did they check you for dehydration at the hospital? Did you notice the color of your urine, and also did you notice how much fluid you actually passed out? Being dehydrated can cause all kinds of symptoms. Is it possible that you are avoiding drinking any water or fluids while you are out and about so you don't have to try to find a clean loo? Please discuss the spot the scan found in your lung with your doctor, and see if a follow-up needs to be done. Going out for several hours of shopping can be fun, but also can be very tiring. Would you consider going out for shorter times, and making sure to drink enough water so as to stay hydrated? xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! I do think that shorter jaunts are probably much better. I do carry a bottle of water in the car and usually buy myself a diet coke when I am out. I have been under an incredible amount of stress over these past four years. Maybe it is all catching up to me. Who knows! xoxo
DeleteI am so sorry that happened to you. I would connect with my primary care. But so glad they didn't find anything wrong.
ReplyDeleteI am always grateful for my life everyday. I have many many blessings. I have spent the most of the last year cleaning out. I retired and decided to work in my gardens and clean out closets and drawers. I have taken probably 23 boxes out of here and still have lots more that needs to be gone through. I try to make my home comfortable I want people to say your house is so comfortable not fancy. We have placed chairs in front of our big windows that look over the woods. We have our coffee there every morning. I want soft pillows and cozy throws right at had for the fall and winter. In the summer we have a screened porch that is so wonderful.
hugs
Cathy
Thanks Cathy! I have an appointment with my family GP next week, so hopefully we can get something done to find out what is causing all of this. You have had a busy time clearing out. How wonderful that you have a spot like that to look out over the woods! It sounds Divine! xoxo
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