FOR TODAY, March 19th, 2024
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW ...
Its still fairly dark. I am up earlier this morning as I have Jenni coming to do my toenails at 9 a.m. She had not been here to do that since early January. She was away to Florida and did not get back when she intended on getting back so my nails are a bit overdue. That's okay. They are getting done today and that's what counts. I wish I could do my own, but I can no longer bend my body the way I used to. Just not as supple as I once was. Arthritis is no fun.
I AM THINKING ...
I am going back to my old way of doing the daybook. The other way just takes me too long to do. I am also thinking about why I always feel like I am on the fringe. This is a feeling that has followed me my whole life. I have always felt like an outsider, even in my own family. Like I don't really belong anywhere. I am struggling with fitting back into my church congregation here in Nova Scotia. I just don't feel a part of it. I am struggling with my family and acceptance there. Maybe I will always feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Maybe I should stop trying to fit into the hole, and just be. Of course the pain I am experiencing at the moment is making me feel a bit off as well. I am not sleeping well and probably reading too much into things.
At the end of the day all I really need to know is I have a Heavenly Father who loves and cares about me, and a Savior who died for me. That is enough and all that really matters.
IN THE KITCHEN ...
One Pan Spaghetti, the small batch. Even though it was a small batch. It still made four servings. It was really delicious however. Everything cooks in the one pan. Sauce and spaghetti.
ON MY TO COOK LIST ...
Italian Ravioli with Spinach, Artichokes and Capers. This looks amazing. Julia's Album.
GOOD TO KNOW ...
Knowing the storage lifespan of foods, and how to store them fresh, is never a bad thing to know.
I AM CREATING ...
Nothing really at the moment. I have managed to replace some patterns that I had to leave back in the U.K. for small angels, santa's, etc. I found my pattern for a Wisconsin Hare, which I thought I had lost and had been looking for online. My heart is willing to and wanting to be creative. I just need to find some time in order to do that.
OH MY GOODNESS ...
Bumpy Cake by King Arthur Flour. This looks like a great chocolate cake! I have been wanting to make this for a very long time now.
I AM READING ...
The Lost Art of Dying, reviving forgotten wisdom by L.S. Dugdale, MD.
A Columbia University physician comes across a popular medieval text on dying well written after the horror of the Black Plague and discovers ancient wisdom for rethinking death and gaining insight today on how we can learn the lost art of dying well in this wise, clear-eyed book that is as compelling and soulful as Being Mortal, When Breath Becomes Air, and Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.
As a specialist in both medical ethics and the treatment of older patients, Dr. L. S. Dugdale knows a great deal about the end of life. Far too many of us die poorly, she argues. Our culture has overly medicalized death: dying is often institutional and sterile, prolonged by unnecessary resuscitations and other intrusive interventions. We are not going gently into that good night-our reliance on modern medicine can actually prolong suffering and strip us of our dignity. Yet our lives do not have to end this way. Centuries ago, in the wake of the Black Plague, a text was published offering advice to help the living prepare for a good death.
Written during the late Middle Ages, ars moriendi-The Art of Dying-made clear that to die well, one first had to live well and described what practices best help us prepare. When Dugdale discovered this Medieval book, it was a revelation. Inspired by its holistic approach to the final stage we must all one day face, she draws from this forgotten work, combining its wisdom with the knowledge she has gleaned from her long medical career. The Lost Art of Dying is a twenty-first century ars moriendi, filled with much-needed insight and thoughtful guidance that will change our perceptions.
By recovering our sense of finitude, confronting our fears, accepting how our bodies age, developing meaningful rituals, and involving our communities in end-of-life care, we can discover what it means to both live and die well. And like the original ars moriendi, The Lost Art of Dying includes nine black-and-white drawings from artist Michael W. Dugger.
Dr. Dugdale offers a hopeful perspective on death and dying as she shows us how to adapt the wisdom from the past to our lives today. The Lost Art of Dying is a vital, affecting book that reconsiders death, death culture, and how we can transform how we live each day, including our last.
LOOKING FORWARD TO ...
Easter in just a few week's time. I am not sure if Anthony is coming over or not. We will see. I am doing Easter Dinner for everyone, whether he does or not. It will probably just be ham and scalloped potatoes. A traditional Easter Dinner.
I am also looking forward to my church's Spring General Conference which will follow on the heels of Easter.
THINGS I LOVE ...
The season of flowers. If I could afford it I would hire a gardener to put in a decent garden for me, with flowers that I could cut all season.
Warm, sunny and dry days . . .
Never underestimate the value of new beginnings. It is never too late for anyone to begin over again.
This. Happy first day of Spring!
So very true . . .
THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE...
I know this to be so true. It has happened to me over and over again. Now when hard times fall I just think to myself, something good is just around the corner and this is just the beginning of it.
SOMETHING TO WATCH ...
Jane Eyre, the 2011 version. On Netflix. One of my favorites.
MAKES ME SMILE ...
She is always getting into the darndest positions. I don't know how she can be comfortable like this but somehow she is. I was so worried yesterday. I could not find her and I thought that she must somehow have gotten outside. I was shaking the treat box and everything and she just wasn't coming. Finally she appeared. I was so relieved.
CORNERS OF MY KINGDOM ...
"What do you mean I'm not being very helpful!"
Cinnamon helping me make my bed each morning.
A THOUGHT TO CARRY WITH YOU ...
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★ *.˛.Friends, they are kind to each other's hopes
& cherish each other's dreams.
~Henry David Thoreau° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
And that's my daybook for this week!
⋱ ⋮ ⋰
⋯ ◯ ⋯ Take time to enjoy the small *´¯`.¸¸.☆
⋰ ⋮ ⋱ blessings in life.*´¯`.¸¸.☆
✿¸.•*¨`*•..✿✿¸.•*¨`*•..✿ ✿¸.•*¨`*•..¸✿ ✿¸.•*¨`*•..¸✿ ✿¸.• ╬♥═╬╬═♥=╬╬═♥╬╬═♥╬╬═♥=╬╬♥═╬♥╬╬═♥╬╬═♥=╬╬♥
░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░
Have a beautiful day! Don't forget!
═══════════ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ═══════════ ⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ And I do too! 
Certainly not a square peg with your family! All inclusive!Your sister..dad..brother-in-law etc..
ReplyDeleteOh yes, they are great Monique! No complaints there. It is my two children that have rejected me. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. I am a mother and I really struggle with trying to accept that. I know there is nothing I can do about it. As a mother, I will always mourn their loss I think. xoxo
DeleteA snowy day for the first day of spring, not a lot and it will melt soon. I know you said you didn't have a family doctor, neither did I, so went to a walk in clinic and asked for the referral to the surgeon who had done my previous surgery several years ago. Do you have that option? Hope you sleep better, as it is so important. The cats are so adorable and give you so much joy and love. Lovely to have a family dinner to plan for. Have a good day.
ReplyDeleteThe wind is quite frigid here today. Cindy and I had to go to the Post Office and it was really cold! I will bear your suggestions in mind! Thank you! xoxo
DeleteI think for some of us, fitting in is never that easy. Maybe we are more sensitive than most...and by our older years we have gone through some very deep waters. I guess we just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other, keep doing all the good we can everywhere we are, and knowing that ONE DAY indeed we will finally fit...perhaps because this life is not our real home, Marie...maybe we just feel that more...sending hugs...I do understand...
ReplyDeleteElizabeth xo
Thanks Elizabeth. I just can't seem to reconcile my head and heart around the two that have rejected me. I don't really understand it I guess. Some people treat their children abominably, and their children still love them. I just can't figure this out. xoxo
DeleteIf you lived farther away from those kids and their doings...I found when we lived far away it was helpful as we never drove past their house etc, even if not intentionally and we never heard of things we were left out of, etc. But then you would be far from the people who really do love to spend time with you. It took us years to be able to not grieve so much. Here we are 5 minutes from ours, and yes we see our son and 1 grandson occasionally...rare. And our son and grandson WILL come help us in an emergency. But is it a normal relationship? We know HER kin see them several times a week. Etc. But we work on not thinking or talking so much about them. It is work!! And now as our bodies are failing bit by bit, we know our earth time may be short...and if we happen to be here when the Messiah comes, that is ok...and if not...we will still be in a much better place. The 1 we communicate with most, lives a continent away. But she could no longer help us...and we were of no help to her, so basically for my husband we had to move here. Our younger daughter who lives 45 minutes south comes up and helps us some each month...so one has to be grateful things are not worse. I hope you can focus more of your thoughts and time and yes, money, on those kids who love you. I have done a lot on DNA studying...and it sounds to me like the younger 2 you had possibly have mostly HIS genes, unfortunately. IF SO, they are handicapped by that and cannot help how they are. And obviously probably somewhat brainwashed. It can take people years, and sometimes longer, if ever, to get away from brainwashing. It is true, and strange...often kids who are very abused and neglected, CRAVE the bad parent. AND we can love from a distance, without saying or any contact whatsoever. Love is a choice. And no one else can decide it. And you can pray for them and I would be asking that GOD SHOW THEM in ways they understand how they are actually hurting THEMSELVES in this...you know, the Bible says to honor your parents that "your days on the earth may be long". It is hard to know you have grandkids nearby that really do not know you...for all intents and purposes, ours here do not know us really either. Cause that takes some time, and time for us is not there. We know WHO and WHY this happened in our family...and because really there is nothing positive to be done, other than endure and go on, considering what is best for our son and grandkids, we choose to ignore and live our lives as best as we can. Good you stay busy!! VERY GOOD that you can!! And what is the "rules" for this life, will NOT BE in large part the rules of the next!! All tears will one day be wiped away...much to look forward to!! Meanwhile so good you are making all the good memories you can with the other 3!! KEEP ON!!
DeleteElizabeth xoxo
Happy Spring! Such uplifting thoughts, you fit right in with the season. x
ReplyDeleteThanks Kay! xoxo
DeleteDear Marie, today when I read about you not ever feeling quite like you belong, it came to me that you might enjoy reading The Handbook For Highly Sensitive People by Mel Collins, published by Watkins, an imprint of Watkins Media Limited. Email: enquiries@watkinspublishing.com Mailing address: Unit 11, Shepperton House
ReplyDelete89-93 Shepperton Road
London
N1 3DF
I understand how you feel. At my old age, I have come to realize that it is possible to be appreciated for what you do, and not be loved. It is also possible to be loved, and not be particularly appreciated. Did you ever think that your two younger children are not having any of it because they intensely love you, and are showing that by refusing to ever be in a position of missing you again? This is just a thought--I am in no way a health/mental care professional--it is only that this came to me not too long ago after I had another bout of feeling left out and not appreciated. Your knee hurting, athritis, and your Dad's change of scene and going to live with your sister also pile it on too. The physical may be helped by an online medical consultation (if possible), or at a walk-in clinic, and ask them what is out there to rub onto your knee to give you some relief. These are just my thoughts, and I hope not too disjointed. Having those days when you feel like your body / mind / spirit is seeking a place to find belonging and rest is a part of being human. Lately I have noticed that the attacks of self-doubt and physical discomfort seem to go together. And last, but not least, Cinnamon in that position where she is upside down is totally the most adorable photo!
xoxo
Love your daybook as usual. Love the pictures of Cinnamon. She seems to be quite the ham. I know what you mean about not feeling like you fit in. In our small church, with very few exceptions, everyone is related in some form or another. Keith and I are among the exceptions and sometimes it feels quite lonely. I just be myself and go on, but have vowed to never, ever go to another church where everyone is related ever again.
ReplyDelete