Today . . .

 

 

Today is going to be the hardest day yet.  I don't even know how I am going to get through it. But  I know I somehow will. Its the old what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  Sometimes you just feel like saying, am I not strong enough already?  Aren't we there yet? Where's the magic wand? What happened to happily ever after  . . . 

Over this past year there have been a few people I know in my local church congregation who have made the decision to leave the church. That's okay.  This church isn't for everyone. We all have to follow the things which sing the song of our hearts. We all have different truths we wish/need to live. They are good people. 

They do, however, seem to feel the need to bash the church every chance they get.  They are my friends on facebook. A few of them have partners that are still active members of the church. Every time I see them saying something really derogatory about the church I wonder how much it hurts their partners to read those things.  I also wonder about this need to bash something which, in all of their cases, has been a part of their whole lives so publically. Its almost as if they have to hate it in order to leave it.

I was a Baptist for most of my life, until I joined the church that I go to now.  I don't feel the need to bash thw Baptist, even though when I left I was subjected to a lotta lotta judgement and all of my friends were suddenly my friends no more. (Some of them even called me mentally ill!!)  I have no qualms with the way I was brought up, with the faith of my childhood. 

It is a huge part of who I became, and of who I am now.  I feel no need to bash it. In some way I think it might feel a bit like bashing a part of me. And I like me.  

 

Each day when I see what they write on their facebook pages I contemplate taking them off my friends list.  The things they say are so derogatory, defaming and hurtful. But I don't. Because you don't abandon people you care about because of a difference in opinion, because they don't believe all the same things that you do.  

Yesterday was the day when, traditionally at the first of the month, members of my faith bear their testimonies. I have always loved testimony meetings, where the testimony of others so inspires me and helps to lift my own.   Even though they are no longer coming out to church, they felt the need to bear their testimonies of how much they hate the church and how damaging and terrible it is.  About how it did not make them feel happy. There was nothing in their testimonies that was faith promoting, about the Saviour, who (no matter what church you belong to or admire) is at the basis of all Christian Faiths. Nothing about God, our Heavenly Father, Abba, Allah . . .  who is at the basis of almost every faith in the world.  

Testimony to my opinion should be faith promoting, not faith destroying.  And at the centre of our faith should be our love of God and the Saviour, if you are so inclined.   I just don't get it. This need to destroy other people's faiths. 

 

If you choose not to believe in something or someone, that's fine. We all have the right to our own belief system.  But it doesn't need to come at the expense of trying to destroy others.

 

Yesterday all three of them spoke of how the church had not brought them happiness.   Maybe it all boils down to what you are looking for.  There is an intrinsic difference between happiness and joy, and the two things are not the same. 

For instance, when I am eating a piece of my favourite Lemon Meringue Pie, I feel really happy when I am eating it. This is because it tastes so good and I love it so much.  The happiness from eating this pie only lasts as long as I am eating it however.  When I am finished it, I am very often looking for, thinking about, wishing for another piece of pie!!!

Joy however . . .  joy lasts longer than the pie. Joy comes from remembering the loving hands who baked the pie for you and in remembering and loving the people sitting around the table with you, enjoying that pie right along with you, and from knowing that one day you can have the pie again if you really want to. 

One is fleeting, one is eternal. 

Not sure if that makes sense.

 

But, if your faith is based on things which are fleeting,

rather than on things which are eternal, then maybe, just maybe

I understand a little bit about why you lost that faith.  

 

Anyways, this is going to be a really hard day for me to get through. Today I will start putting what little I really desire to carry with me into my future into a few boxes and hope that I will at least be able to carry those with me. Today is the last day I will see the man that I chose to spend the last twenty years of my life with.  And while he may have ended not being that man I chose to spend my life with at all, it was not all bad.  Most of it made me quite happy.  There were a lot of happy moments, and my heart is going to break a little bit more when I watch him walking away.  It would be a lot easier if I could hate him, but I cannot hate him.  I know that many would.  Instead I feel a deep sense of sorrow and of grief. It truly breaks my heart. Today I will be relying on the Saviour even more than I have done in these past weeks. 

Maybe today I can truly begin to focus more on what lays ahead of me

rather than on what lays behind.  That is a good thing.

A very good thing, and perhaps today

real healing can begin. 

 

 

There is ever so much more in front of me to look forward to.

 

A thought to carry with you  . . .  

° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
 *Faith is like WiFi

Its invisible, but it has the power to

connect you to what you need.° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 

 

 

 

In The English Kitchen today  . . .  good old fashioned Apple Dumplings.  It will be several weeks before I actually start to cook again, so I will be sharing some of my favourites from the past that I think people might enjoy! 

Have a wonderful day and week. Don't forget . . . 

═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ ⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════

And I do too!