First of all this morning I wanted to thank everyone for their love, prayers and overwhelming support. It truly means the world to me. I am greatly humbled and uplifted by all of it. I truly am, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
I had a bit of a wobble day before yesterday. I am feeling very emotionally raw at the moment and am taking even the smallest bit of negativity as a bruise to my heart. I tell myself not to, but I have never been like a duck when it comes to things like this. They just don't roll off my back without hurting me on the way down. They just don't.
Yesterday was a much better day. I got out of here for a tiny bit. I went to the Doctors for my blood tests. I asked the nurse what does it mean about my platelets being up. She said it could be something as simple as me having had a slight infection on the day the first tests were done. So I shouldn't be worried. I'm thinking yes, I'll take that. If I am ever going to get something sininster, please let it be on the other side of the pond where I am surrounded by family. Please.
My friend Tina took me because it is a long ways for me to walk. Ten years ago I could have done it in a heartbeat. Arthritis has taken its toll now and while I could do it still, it would take me twice as long and I would be in extreme pain by the time I got there and coming back to the house would be next to impossible. Bone grinding on bone gets old really quickly. Who would have thought I would ever need a cane. Not me, that's who!
After my blood tests we went to Costco for a drive. I was brave and I actually went in. They are ever so good at making sure all the carts are sanitised, everyone masked up, social distancing, the lot. I was very impressed. There were the few odd balls unmasked. People who perhaps had underlying health reasons (please let that be it!) or people who feel their civil liberties are being assaulted by even just the idea. (Plenty of those about these days.) Anyways, it was the first time I have been anywhere with the exception of the Doctors since March 4th. It felt scary and good at the same time.
There was one guy who was wearing a mask, but he had this long beard hanging out the bottom of it. I did wonder what was up about that? Someone perhaps should invent a mask with a snood for the beard. Just an idea. If I had a beard I would want a mask with a snood to tuck my beard into. For safety. Being the closest to your mouth you would think it to be ultra vulnerable to germs. Just saying.
After our little walk around, Tina said to me did I want something from the cafe area. I was going to say no, but then I said yes. I would love an ice cream. I didn't have one all summer. So yes, I had a caramel sundae. She had a gelato and we both sat in the car enjoying them and chatting. It was sooooo good, both the ice cream and the conversation. And the naughty girl got us both a slice of cheese pizza also. I saved mine to bring home. My appetite has not been that great these past few weeks. Understandably. In any case I did enjoy that ice dream very much . . . almost as much as I enjoyed being away from the house and being with a friend.
Tina is already making plans to come and visit me in Canada once Covid is over and things are all settled. I can't wait to show her my beautiful province and introduce her to my lovely family. I know she will love both and I know my family will love her. You have never met a more humble or sincere person. She is our Ward Compassionate Services Leader and it is the perfect calling for her. I have never met anyone more compassionate. Never.
I was listening to some Conference Talks yesterday morning in the wee hours. First I listened to one by Jeffrey R Holland from the last conference just two weeks ago. "Waiting on the Lord."
Faith means trusting God in good times and bad,
even if that includes some suffering until
we see His arm revealed in our behalf.
I also listened to the closing remarks of the conference from President Nelson. "A New Normal."
"The challenge for you and me is to make certain that each of us will achieve his or her divine potential. Today we often hear about “a new normal.” If you really want to embrace a new normal, I invite you to turn your heart, mind, and soul increasingly to our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Let that be your new normal."
Both talks spoke to my heart. (Most do, nothing new there!) I was comforted by both of them. I think that perhaps when everything settles I will apply to do a Service Mission from my Ward in Nova Scotia. You can do those from your home and I think it would be great to lose myself in a bit of service to others. My athritis means I can't really go far away, now do I think I would want to having only just returned to my family. But it would be nice to have a purpose for some of my time, and to help keep busy.
I also feel like the Mission I did serve a few years ago is tainted by things. I want to serve the Lord fully and without the actions of others taking away from that. Not sure if that makes sense or not, but it does to me.
I am so blessed to talk to my oldest daughter via messenger every single day. Just like clockwork at 4 pm each day she messages me. Faithfully. She is very excited about my returning to Canada. She knows Todd and I are separating, although she does not know the reasons why. I don't think she would understand. I will explain them to her when I can in person. That would be much better. I thought she would be disappointed that she won't be coming over here to the UK. She did not skip a heartbeat in saying maybe she and I could use her tickets to go visit my brother or something together when the Virus is better. Whew! Now she is making plans for all the things we are going to do together once I am back. All the things we are going to bake together and she already has Christmas 2021 planned. She will go to her Dads on Christmas Eve, her In Laws on Christmas Day and to me on Boxing Day. I think it is really cute.
Luke is already looking forward to baking with me. Number one son's, grandson number two in that family.
There is much joy and light ahead. I just need to keep navigating my way through the scary dark tunnel. and I will. I could let all my fears rule me, and trust me I have many fears at the moment, but that would mean giving in to them, and I am not going to allow myself to do that. I will face and conquer them one by one, day by day, minute by minute.
"What if I fall . . .
but oh but my darling,
what if you fly?"
You can't let your fears defeat you. You just can't give in to them. It is just not an option. No way. No how.
So, once again, thank you all so much for helping me to get through my worst moments and inspiring me to keep on trucking. You are a great blessing to me. And yes, keep clicking and reading The English Kitchen. Even on those days when I am not able to post. Every one helps. Just spend one minute on the page, reading and scrolling. It means I will have an income until my pension comes through and I am so grateful for that.
A thought to carry with you . . .
☾ ° ★° * 。
• ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • •。★★ 。* 。° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
*And though she be but little
She is fierce.
~Shakespeare ★★ 。* 。
Who knew? Shakespeare . . .
In The English Kitchen today, Cinnamon Doughnut Puffs. I never thought of splitting and buttering these tasty muffins before. But it was suggested on the recipe card. Woah! Amazing!
I hope that you have a beautiful day. Don't forget!