A few of the things I find each week that pique my interest, bring me joy, inspire me to learn, create, do, become, inspire memories . . . maybe they will do the same for you!
And those are my finds for this week. I just can't get into it. Sorry about that!
Just one of those things. My mind is filled with thoughts about what to do, what to do. Lists, hopes, prayers. I am still getting messages from people who are aghast a what is going on. Blaming me, etc. I wish I could tell them the truth but I can't.
Someone told me yesterday I sound hard, harsh. I have never wanted to be a hard or a harsh person. Maybe my anger is showing. I am only human and aside from being irrevockably hurt, I am angry. I admit it. I am angry. Plenty angry. I have worked so hard over these past 20 years to build a life from essentially nothing. And I came over here to nothing as well. I am plenty angry that once more I am going to have to rebuild my life from nothing.
And I know its only stuff, and I can deal with that. Its only stuff, but it just makes me feel very angry. Through and through. I will never put my trust and my life in the hands of another male person again. Never. I cannot trust my judgement when it comes to that. Clearly.
Funny how you can look back at something and see all the red flags. But somehow when you are living your life you don't notice them, or you do and you think nah . . . I'm just being silly, or don't be stupid.
And then you realise that you were. Stupid. Silly. Deluded. Bind. Naive.
And perhaps I need to be a bit angry and a bit hard and harsh to be able to do what I have to do over these next few weeks?? Its probably the only way I will be able to get through it in one piece. And then I wonder, will I ever be in one piece again?
Oh you lucky people who got it right the first time. Hug your partners and know that you are blessed in a way that so many are not.
A thought to carry with you . . .
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
*Be assured that there is a safe harbour.
Have a great Friday. Wishing you a safe and a happy day! Don't forget!
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════
Marie, the authorities would not be involved in something of no substance. BLOCK whomever would criticize you in this mess!! One thing I so noticed when my brother was killed by a drunk driver, was how critical people were of us sometimes, yet THEY HAD NEVER EVER LOST A LOVED ONE TO A DRUNK DRIVER!! WHAT HIPOCRACY!! Unless YOU have lived what others are going through...keep your trap shut and do not throw stones, lest others find out about YOU!! It may well be some of these critics are indeed also involved with similar activities...even women are part of such in this day and time. One couple who was SO AWFUL to my daughter when she left the pedo (though of course, we did not know then he was such) did some VERY QUESTIONABLE things with their daughters that we saw with our own eyes. One day if I learn they too are part of that club...it will not surprise me at all!! So keep on going...keep your head up...there are those of us who have experienced similar things enough to believe every single word you say!! I think you deserve a reward for not taking the law into your own hands. I have great compassion for people who do that. In our country, there is really NO PROTECTION for children and women...everything is geared to protect the criminal...so of course, there will be people who just snap and cannot take it anymore. Every single person on this planet has a breaking point. But don't let the creeps bother you, Marie...they are simply showing their true colors. I am so hoping you will soon be ensconced within the arms of your loving family members...and just let the rest of the world go by for awhile!! You are a brave plucky woman!! And you are definitely a child of GOD so never forget that either!!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth xoxo
Thanks very much Elizabeth. I just bite my tongue and keep moving forward. xoxo
DeleteThey are not living your life don’t let people like that get to you you have to do what is right for you God bless you
ReplyDeleteThank you Shirley. xoxo
DeleteI sound angrier than you..truly.I find you are being freiking gracious.A mess.. and honestly look at everything you have to do right now on top of all this..Yikes.
ReplyDeleteShame on the criticizers.
Bon courage bon courage bon courage.
Thank you so much Monique. At the moment it is all I can do to hold things together. It is my faith, the hope of a brilliant future and the love and support of family and friends, like yourself, that is helping to hold me aloft! I thank you for that! xoxo
DeleteJudging from what I've read, there is no reason for people to judge you. They've never been in your shoes, so how could they know.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much Pam. xoxo
DeleteDear Marie, now I'm no therapist, just a gal with a few miles on the old odometer like many of your friends here. I believe a measured course of anger is perfectly normal, to be expected and probably a little bit healthy. When hurt, confusion, self-doubt etc wake us up from deceptions and other nefarious acts, perhaps feelings of anger (when not dwelt upon) can be a healthy response to propel us forward with focused, positive determination... just as you are doing.
ReplyDeleteYou wonder if you will ever be in one piece again? I am reminded of your inspiring posts of past highlighting Kintsugi...the beautiful Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold:
Built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. Every break is unique and instead of repairing an item like new, the 400-year-old technique highlights the "scars" as a part of the design. Using this as a metaphor for healing ourselves teaches us an important lesson: Sometimes in the process of repairing things that have broken, we actually create something more unique, beautiful and resilient.
Dear Marie, I'm no therapist, just a gal with a few miles on the old odometer like many of your friends here. I believe a measured course of anger is perfectly normal, to be expected and probably a little bit healthy. When hurt, confusion, self-doubt etc wake us up from deceptions and other upsets, perhaps feelings of anger (when not dwelt upon) can be a healthy response to propel us forward with focused, positive determination...just as you are doing.
ReplyDeleteYou wonder if you will ever be in one piece again? I believe yes and am reminded often of your inspiring posts of past highlighting Kintsugi...the beautiful Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold:
Built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. Every break is unique and instead of repairing an item like new, the 400-year-old technique highlights the "scars" as a part of the design. Using this as a metaphor for healing ourselves teaches us an important lesson: Sometimes in the process of repairing things that have broken, we actually create something more unique, beautiful and resilient <3
Thank you so very much for the reminder Jen! Thanks also for your support. It means a lot to me. xoxo
DeleteI’m sad to hear of these judgments. Sending you a virus free hug to cheer you and give you peace. :-) V
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much V! xoxo
DeleteI have always enjoyed your Christmas finds and the Beret hats are so cute too. You had some great finds.
ReplyDeleteI'm sad that you are struggling and I find it so hard to understand when others come back and are unkind when you are in the middle of such a hard trial. Just know you are loved by many and I know the Lord loves you and will help you through it all.
The anger is really part of grieving over what is going on in your life. The states of grief fit in all situations of struggle. It's normal and it does come and go and then the other stages do too. I was a hospice nurse for years and this has helped me understand what I have gone through at times have actually been deep grief.
Sending loving thought, prayers and hugs your way!
Thank you so much LeAnn. Your thoughts, love and prayers are so very much appreciated. xoxo
DeleteYou have every right to be angry. You are going through an incredibly difficult experience with none of your family close. Instead of criticizing people who know you should be rallying round, supporting you and doing everything to make your move happen quickly. I cannot imagine the stress you are under. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I
ReplyDelete