Just to say . . .

 

Its been a year today since we said goodbye to mom.  Its not been an easy year and I am not sure that I have ever come to terms with it. Maybe you never do. I still cry at the drop of a hat when I think of her, but I also laugh when I think of certain memories and I feel her close to me always.  I will never stop missing her.  Never.  This photo has the three of us in it. My mom, myself and my sister. Mom was about six months pregnant for Cindy in this.  You can probably see the little bulge there. That's sis.

This has been a particularly difficult year for my sister. We will be forever grateful for the love and care that she gave to mom during the last years of her life and are also grateful for the love and care that she gives to our father who is still very much alive.  We are also very grateful to Dan, her partner who has been there right by her side the whole time. Mom loved Dan and thought the world of him.

 

I am forever grateful for my faith which has helped to carry me and sustain me through these last twelve months.  It has given me the hope and promise that I will see my mother again and that she is in a much better place than we, a place where there is no weeping or pain or gnashing of teeth, a place of love.  

We had a really difficult day yesterday.  In the morning I baked a casserole to take over to Doreen's granddaughter and DIL.  I knew that they had enough on their plates without having to think about cooking anything for themselves.  When we got there Jenny was on her own (the granddaughter).  Billy had gone to pick up laundry at the laundromat and her mum had gone home for a break and to do some things there.  Doreen seemed a lot more settled.  They had had a hospital bed delivered during the night, and she was resting much more comfortably than she had been in her chair over the past few weeks.  She had been afraid to sleep in her bedroom.   

Sadly we had not been there very long when I realised she had stopped breathing.  She was just there, and then she wasn't.  She passed very peacefully, with people that loved her nearby.  We were able to hold her hand and stroke her forehead. We were able to comfort Jenny until her mom got back and Todd was able to call the relevant people.  It was very sad for both of us.  Doreen was my mom away from mom and one of the first friends I made here in the UK, other than Todd.  I am so grateful that we were able to make our peace with things before Christmas and have things back on the right road.  I know it meant a lot to Doreen and I hope she knew it meant a lot to me. 

I don't mind saying that this has been a crappy week.  Lets hope that next week will be a lot better. 

Despite all of this however I can still say, don't forget  

 

═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ ⊰✿░G░O░D⊰✿⊰L░O░V░E░S⊰✿⊰░Y░O░U░⊰✿
═══════════ ღೋƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒღೋ ═══════════ 

And I do too.