And so it goes . . .

 

 I had one of those kinds of days yesterday  . . .  you know the kind I mean?  The kind where you take yourself off into a corner by yourself and you just blubber. My knee was particularly painful yesterday.  I was really struggling to even move at all.  I got myself upstairs and into my craft room, which is a complete and utter tip at the moment. With all the company we had a lot of stuff got shifted in there and you cannot move without banging something or knocking something over. You have to climb over stuff to get to stuff, etc.  Its a bit overwhelming to be honest. It looks like something from hoarders, but I'm not a hoarder.  I promise.

Anyways, I had in mind I would sit and do some art.  I have another book rolling around in my head and I wanted to do some little illustrations for it . . .

 I sketched and sketched . . .  and erased and erased . . .  I sketched some more and erased some more.  I did this for an hour and a half.  Sketching and erasing.  I got nowhere.  Todd came up to see how I was doing and I just started crying.  Great big soppy wet tears, rolling unbidden down my cheeks, and I cried . . . cried . . .  cried. I have artists block. Well and truly. And its not nice.  And I got scared and feeling very sorry for myself.  What if the art never comes to me again  . . . what if I can never ever make another picture spring from my fingertips . . .  what if . . .  what if . . .

I have never felt so useless

and afraid and, well

discouraged

...

 And I know it is a silly thing . . .  to be feeling discouraged about something like that.  There are people in the world with worse problems. This is nothing in comparison, and so I can't walk well at the moment.  Its not like I have a fatal illness or anything. Its just walking, thats all . . .

And Todd knocked over my Frozen Palace and I need to dig out the book to figure out how to put it back together  . . .  sigh  . . .  I just put all the bits into a plastic bag and stuck it away for now.  Part of the fun of lego is building with it again and again, right?

Anyways, I had my little blubber and then I came downstairs.  And I did some crochet work, and then the Missionary Elders from Buckley stopped in, and they really cheered me up.  They ate all my cookies and I gave them some milk and we sat and chatted.  It was the first time these two had been to our home. It was lovely to spend some time with them and to chat for a bit and feel of their spirit.

And I got to chat online to a friend I had not spoken to in a while, which was nice, with Mitzie snuggled into my side.  My friend has mobility problems also, and knee problems, and we laughed about it a bit and the things we do to cope.  She has a sous chef (her partner), and rolls around the kitchen in her chair.  I could never let Todd be a sous chef for me, but maybe one day I will have to do  . . . and get a roll around chair.  Hmmm . . .  I hope not.

 And then Todd and I watched an episode of this.  I love this show.  Each time I watch it, even if it is an episode I have seen before, I notice something I had not noticed before.  We also watched an Episode of Shetland on Netflix. We love police dramas.  You have probably picked up on that. ☺

I made us some toast . . .  I had whole wheat and spelt, one slice with cheese spread on it and the other with peanut butter on it. Todd had white with butter and marmalade on it.  And then we watched a Gilmore Girls (our second time watching this series, we love it.) after which we went to bed.

I fell asleep holding my rosary

and woke up later

still holding

it

The beads were all warm in my hand and tucked it back onto my night stand and I reached down and stroked Mitzie who was right next to my bed and I fell back asleep again, and now it is today.

 A new page unwritten upon.  What gets written on it is up to me and the choices I will make . . .  today . . .  and the attitude I will take . . .  today . . .

Sometimes you just have to hand everything over

and then believe and trust that

He will take care of it all

in His way and in

His time

...

We all have challenges, and we all may think that they are silly, and we all know it could always, always be worse . . .  but sometimes we just have to cry and to let go and let God.  Tears can be very healing and cleansing.  Faith is like a muscle.  We need to exercise it.   Maybe the pictures will come back and maybe they won't. Maybe my knee and my foot will get better, maybe it won't . . .  but I have to believe that whatever comes next is a part of His plan for me for whatever reason. So long as I do my part, He is bound to do His.  It all works out in the end.  I really believe that to be true.

A thought to carry with you through today  . . . 

.° * 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
•。★★ 。* 。
° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~＼。˚ ˚ ˛
˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ ｜ 田田 ｜門 ★
 *.˛.° ˛°. . 
˛And above all, watch with glittering eyes

the world around you,

because the greatest secrets are always

hidden in the most unlikely places.

Those who don't believe in magic

will never find it.

~Roald Dahl     •。★★ 。* 。 

Spiritual Enlightenment 

 In the English Kitchen today  . . .  Kitchen Sink Cookies.  I love these  cookies  . . .  they are so naughty, but so nice!

Have a blessed Sunday.  Don't forget . . .

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And I do too!