Thursday Ponderings . . .

"You are given a chance to return to any previous point in your life and change a decision you made, but you will lose everything that has happened to you since then. Is there a time you would return to? If so, would you like to retain the memory of the life you are giving up even though you could never recapture it?"

Billy of the blog, What I Learned Today, posed this question the other morning. I like Billy's blog. He always has something on it that makes you think and his writing is brilliant. I have been pondering this question all week, and thinking about what my answer might be . . .



First I thought about all the mistakes I have made in my life. Huge errors, errors of judgement, poor choices . . . choices that once made sent me down a pathway to a much different place in life than I ever thought about or wanted to go . . .

I often sit in church and watch some of the families as I listen to the talks and I think about how different my life could have been, had I made the right decision all those years ago to join the church then. I was 18 and the missionaries had been around our neighbourhood. They had given my dad a Book of Mormon, which he hadn't really wanted, but was too polite to refuse. I wanted it. I was very curious about this religion. I had always been mad about the Osmonds, and I knew that they were Mormons. It intrigued me. It's message spoke to my heart, but I did nothing about it . . . there were other things in my life that were more important at the time, like my friends, and my social life, and getting married . . .



I did join the church eventually, no surprise there, but much, much later in life. When I finally was able to make the right decision and follow the song of my heart, it was a decision that ultimately cost me my family and my home . . . but . . . when God speaks to you personally, you cannot ignore His voice. Well, maybe you can, but it's at your peril . . . Simply said, it was the right thing to do, and I have no doubt about that whatsoever. There is no person here on earth that has the right to tell you what or how to believe, or to make you choose between doing what you know to be right, and keeping what you hold to be dear . . . that is not love . . . that is unrighteous dominion . . .

Sometimes in life, the right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do, and decisions that should be easy to make, are very difficult. Sometimes the consequences of doing the right thing can appear at first to be horribly painful, and you find yourself questioning, and sometimes doubting the wisdom of your ways . . . but, in the end, you listen to that still small voice and you move forward in faith, and hope for the best. When you hold fast to the rod, the blessings come eventually. First faith, and then . . . the miracle . . . always.



But still sometimes, I sit in church and I watch the families around me . . . the moms and the dads . . . the children . . . all together, loving and living a Gospel centred life together . . . and I think about what might have been, had I only listened to the song of my heart all those years ago. Would I be married to a strong priesthood holder, with my children gathered around me as a hen gathers her chicks? Would we be a single solitary, happy family . . . sealed together in the promise of the Gospel and eternity? Would that joy that I see measured in the faces of those lovely families be mine? Can you miss what you've never had??? My heart aches at those times . . . for what could have been, and for the family that I have that is so far away . . . both physically and spiritually . . . and I cling to my Todd's hand a little tighter, thinking about what if, what if . . .



And then I remind myself, that I am who I am, because of where I've been and what I've done, and that whilst I can only see the tangled threads on the bottom of this canvas that I call life which I have woven . . . there is someone much wiser than I who sees the top and who knows how the story ends. I remind myself that I have a loving Heavenly Father who has promised me all the blessings of His Kingdom, and a loving Saviour who has helped to carry me through the fire, and shown me the way to go . . . both of them loving me so very much that I know as long as I keep my focus on them, they will never let me down, or turn their backs on me. And that for, whatever reason, this is the path I have been directed to take and that one day all my questions will be answered and I will be able to see that it was the perfect way for me, just so long as I hold to the rod . . .



And so Billy . . . as painful as this road of mine has been from time to time, I see that it has also been glorious and full of joy and is full of joy still . . . so no, I would not change a thing, not an instant. I am where I always wanted to be, and who I always wanted to be . . .

It is my birthday next week, and I am going to be hosting a special giveaway in honor of it! I should have the details of it sorted out by tommorrow, so make sure you pop in to see what I have up my sleeve. I promise you, it will be worth it!

I made this delicious chicken dish the other night. The chicken was meltingly tender and the sauce so richly delicious that I am sitting here at 6 in the morning thinking about it still . . .



*Chicken with Rosemary, Mushrooms, Tomatoes and Olives*
Serves 4
Printable Recipe

This is lovely. Simple to make and full of beautiful flavours . . . sweet tomatoes, white wine, tangy olives and meaty mushrooms. Delicious.

8 chicken thighs
salt and black pepper to taste
1 TBS olive oil
1/2 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup dry white wine
1 medium onion, peeled and sliced
1 large portobello mushroom, sliced
1/2 cup kalamata olives, pitted and sliced in half
1 14-oz tin of chopped tomatoes, undrained
2 tsp chopped fresh rosemary



Heat the olive oil in a large skillet (with a lid) over medium high heat. Season the chicken thighs well with salt and black pepper. Brown them slowly in the hot oil, turning, until they are browned all over. Remove to a plate. Pour off most of the fat in the pan, leaving just a bit. Add the onion to the pan, and cook stirring until softened and fragrant, without browning. Add the sliced mushroom. Cook, stirring occasionally until the mushroom is browned and all the juices have evaporated. Stir in the chicken broth and the white wine. Bring to the boil and reduce until about half the consistency. Add the tomatoes, olives and 1 tsp of the chopped rosemary. Return the chicken to the pan. Bring to the boil again, then reduce the heat, cover and simmer for 34 to 40 minutes, until the chicken is cooked through and tender, and the sauce is of a nice consistency. Sprinkle with the remaining rosemary and serve. Rice or couscous go very well with this.



If, after that, you are in the mood for dessert, why not pop on over to The English Kitchen, to see what I cooked up next!